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#1
May 13, 2005, 11:07 PM
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new to DID, but think i'v known for awhile. have a T since oct. wants me to list all of who i think i am. Everyone has parts that are left behind, and pick up more as they grow, don’t they? Yes, there are different moods, lots of memory loss, ect. ect. also answers some questions along the way. There are to much over lapping areas to really tell the differences some times. Just finding it hard to accept that it is possible to be one whole, yet separate, and not aware of some of it and what they do or are .like. I am me and only me, other wise it aint real. Its like looking in a mirror that has a lot of cracks and is distorted. A reflection that aint really real. heres just an idea of where i'm at now.
WHO AM I? Who am I I am infant Born of sin Dirty and stained at birth Who am I I am toddler Yearning for love Learning indifference and fear Who am I I am young child Finding love Paying the price with pain Who am I I am teenager Rebellious and stubborn Full of anger and rage Who am I I am young adult Caring and sensitive Not ready to die Who am I A soul reborn With scars to hide From life to death Without missing a stride Who am I I am armor I am husk I am soul Who am I I am many Yet I am one I am me BUT WHO AM I THE ROPE the rope once strong bound by desire strengthened by love held together by determination the rope once strong begins to fray weakened by fear pulled down by pain the rope once strong pulled far to long now a single thread ready to break the rope once strong is no more I AM I have sight But I am blind I have hearing But I am deaf I have voice But I am mute I have intelligence But I am a fool I have heart But I am numb I knew happiness But I am sad I knew love But I am empty I have society But I am alone I have health But I am shattered I have life But I am dead
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Somewhere inside me, there is a butterfly waiting to be free to fly |
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#2
May 13, 2005, 11:16 PM
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Welcome shatteredmirror! I completely get the not accepting the whole yet separate. It is a major function of dissociation to hide its own existence.
Thank you for sharing so much of what you are facing right now. Your words show you've been doing some hard work in your thearpy. Good for all of you for working on this despite the challenge of denial. Look forward to hearing more from any and all of you when ready. |
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#3
May 13, 2005, 11:43 PM
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Welcome here! I'm DID myself & can relate. It's great you could post who you are. Means you are getting to know you & all of you inside.
Look forward to hearing more from you here when you feel comfortable. Love, RM |
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#4
May 14, 2005, 08:12 AM
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Wow! Your writing is amazing. I don't have DID, but I can relate so much to what you've said here. I find it hard to sort out and understand who I am, too.
 wishing you the best of luck in your therapy, and your life's path...~Angela
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 Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name ~Alanis Morissette |
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#5
May 14, 2005, 09:55 AM
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Hello. I do not think we know all of our parts at all. Do you write in a diary? That can be fun. jj
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#6
May 14, 2005, 01:18 PM
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welcome
 It is a very difficult Dx to deal with I found out last year that I am an other and I still don't really understand Hugs if wanted Fi |
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#7
May 14, 2005, 01:42 PM
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Hi there, I'm Jinsi , it's nice to meet you. I'm pretty new here myself and have found this to be a tremendously supportive environtment with lots of loving, caring people. Welcome.
I know how terrifying it can be sometimes in the beginning, so please know that you're not alone. And take care of yourself/ves. Offering a hand in friendship, Jinsi
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Desperate to merge three worlds into one..... |
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#8
May 14, 2005, 01:50 PM
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You have put a lot of thought and contemplation into your work.
Thank you for sharing this with us. It is difficult to do this at times. Be well.
__________________
Hello
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#9
May 14, 2005, 09:56 PM
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just wanted to say thanks, was at another forum for awhile before i found this one, this seems to be more what i think i was looking for. needed to be able to talk to others with the same kind of problems to kinda help me understand all this.. think what i hate most is when i'm in the middle of saying something or doing something, then have absolutly no idea what is was. or forgetting where something is that has been in the same spot foe eons. it helps to read what you feel and think, and how others work through things. thanks.
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Somewhere inside me, there is a butterfly waiting to be free to fly |
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#10
May 15, 2005, 08:31 PM
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welcome, shatteredmirror! I'm glad you found us!
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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