Do negative introjects ever disappear?

Some years ago, I went through an experience that allowed me to feel less fragmented. I started separating from my overbearing mom by identifying and honoring my likes and dislikes. So, I think that it is gone because I don't hear its loud rantings or its attempts to forcefully boss me around. Is it possible for negative introjects to disappear?

Absolutely! When you challenge the introject and don't listen to it, you can turn it off and send it away. An introject is an internalized part of someone else, but it is something in your own mind and thoughts still, and you can learn to control that.

That's good news!
Just this morning as I was brooding about how am I going to relate to my sister in healthy way this Christmas (She has bullied me relentlessly when we were younger), I heard my negative introject blurt out advice that only mom could think of. So, hollered at it, "Shut up!" This time, it didn't argue back...it was as if someone left the room.
This is interesting how talking about it could have motivated it to try to reclaim its previous power over my life. So, every time that I struggle to believe in myself...could be the workings of the introject. My mom never believed that I could accomplish anything on my own without her help. I have to keep on fighting the good fight.

Good work! You'll only get better at it, the more you practice talking back to the introject or ignoring it.

I don't believe that negative introjects can 'disappear' for the simple reason that 'they' are a part of our own mind. 'They' are not an external entity that doesn't belong, but part of our own coping strategies, whether they be in the form of simple negative self-talk or a more complex dissociative split.

But absolutely I believe that they can be healed, and the whole person can find ways to understand the origin and transform their negativity. Despite the presentation, negative introjects are a powerful source of protection: By keeping the person 'in line' so to speak (according to an abuser's will) they help to protect the self from actual external abuse. So, in a roundabout way, by abusing the self they are actually intending to protect it. Unfortunately they don't know this initially, and because their actions certainly don't *feel* like protection it can be difficult for a whole system to understand that their original purpose was useful.

But I firmly I believe that working with internal introjects and transforming their (and the rest of the system's) understanding can lead to cooperation with some of the most powerful protectors in a dissociative system. It is hard work and they are tough nuts to crack, but when you can get those internal introjects on side they turn out to be the best protectors around. That's been my experience anyway.

The trick of healing with this is to be able to identify the introject when it starts to come up - and catch it right then. Stop the commentary before it stops you.

I can relate to your belief that introjects do end up protecting one from further abuse. Had my introject not kept me in line, I fear what could have been my fate. Maybe, mom would have abandoned me or turned me into the scapegoat of the family... My mom was quite of a fascist about how she wanted me to behave and think. She still views me as an extension of herself.

In your experience, have you found it to be true that introjects store important information about past trauma?

Hi Psychee,

Because this was caught early in yourself it did not have to go to full blown dissociation, parts, DID/DDNOS etc.

Here's a bunch of fufurough I looked up. Please disregard if meaningless.

In Dependent Personality Disorder it may be an ego defense mechanism whereby an individual unconsciously incorporates into his own ego structure the qualities of another person, usually a significant other. It happens early in life and continues less intensely throughout.

Introjection is also the name of a defense mechanism, which handles threats from the outside that can potentially cause anxiety by infolding them into the internal world of the subject, where they can be neutralized or alleviated. More specifically introjection means incorporating attributes, attitudes or qualities of an absent person of high significance (for example, an absent working mother or a recently deceased relative) into oneself.

One example often used is when a child envelops representational images of his absent parents into himself, simultaneously fusing them with his own personality.

Individuals with weak ego boundaries are more prone to use introjection as a defense mechanism. According to Donald Woods Winnicott "projection and introjection mechanisms... let the other person be the manager sometimes, and to hand over omnipotence.[2]

There are two categories of personal boundary, physical and psychological.

According to Nina Brown, [1] there are 4 kinds of psychological boundaries:
Soft - A person with soft boundaries merges with other people's boundaries. Someone with a soft boundary is easily manipulated.
Spongy - A person with spongy boundaries is like a combination of having soft and rigid boundaries. They permit less emotional contagion than soft boundaries but more than rigid. People with spongy boundaries are unsure what to let in and what to keep out.
Rigid - A person with rigid boundaries is closed or walled off so nobody can get close to them either physically or emotionally. This is often the case if someone has been physically, emotionally or psychologically abused. Rigid boundaries can be selective which depend on time, place or circumstances and are usually based on a bad previous experience in a similar situation.
Flexible - This is the ideal. Similar to selective rigid boundaries but the person has more control. The person decides what to let in and what to keep out, are resistant to emotional contagion, manipulation and are difficult to exploit.

That was a coping mechanism when none other could be found. In adulthood they strangle you. I have failed completely in being able to overcome them. And I know no so-called professional who has any idea that they even exist, let alone what to do about them (other than to abuse you for having them).

Hey, I'm a therapist and I know about introjects and would work with someone on learning to challenge the negative content. My T also knows about introjects and would do the same. As wpowers said, the first step is to learn to recognize the introject when it appears.

Yes, it is a coping mechanism that is less helpful once you are out of the situation that necessitated it. It had a purpose and was born of self-preservation. It is understandable, even if painful now.

When I finally received the help I needed it came in the form of EMDR or OEI Therapy. I realize that there will be this flurry of questions about OEI but I just want to focus on this question here for a minute.

Over the years, having tried CBT with many different counselors, having even spent many months in a reputable counseling course where I received a certificate and having complete numerous coping type mechanism workshops I came to discover that none of these could touch my introject.

First, introjection simply refers to the internalization of words, thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes from significant others in the past. That can vary (as some wise person has suggested) from simple self-critical internal phrases or words or thoughts all the way to full alters. I think CBT works with the former but not the latter. The full alter is created by huge age-specific trauma, so the stuff is "etched in". You need more than internal dialogue and CBT to change the latter. Some internal boundary-setting may be a small help at times.

This distinguishes DID from simple (or even not so simple) introjects.

I don't think it is proved to be any quicker than other therapies but I do not have to dismiss an alter completely but may eventually like to integrate completely.

Respectfully of behalf of all of who I am.

Hunny (particularly her protective alters.)



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Thank you Hunny for the insight. I didn't know that those with Dependent Personality Disorder had introjects. When I was a child, I had soft boundaries and now my boundaries are spongy.
I haven't been able to find information about DDNOS. Do you know of any book or website that discusses it in detail? I have experienced episodes of derealization and depersonalization throught my life. Particularly now that I am reading books about sexual abuse.

There isn't information about NOS diagnoses because they are not defined disorders. DDNOS simply means that a person has symptoms of dissociation, but doesn't meet the criteria for any of the specific currently recognized dissociative disorders. Another way to think of it is a person could have a Mood Disorder NOS which would mean they have some symptoms of depression and or mania, but what they have is not the same as recognized depressive disorders or bipolar disorder.

Anyone could have an introject without having any mental health disorder at all. People are all different, and you can have a symptom or several symptoms without having a diagnosis, just like you could have a headache without having the flu or any particular disease. The more symptoms that someone has, and the longer they last, and the more problematic they are, the more likely that they will be recognized as one disorder or another, but the bottom line is that whatever you experience is what you experience, and that you get treatment if needed or otherwise learn or are able to live the best life that you can. If a negative introject takes away from your experience of life, it may be helpful to recognize it, understand where it came from and how it affects you, confront it, and replace it with self-talk and boundaries that work better for you.

Rapunzel,
This sort of sounds like what I am going through right now. I get to a point where I feel that no matter what my mother says I think I can deal with that. But a voice in my head disagrees and then I feel like I have been slam-dunked by not only my mother, but myself as well. I have tried hard to turn off these thoughts but end up with a deep heavyness in my chest and a real deep depression over it. Maybe your ideas on this subject would work for me.
I find all this info you all have provided very interesting.

Psychee,

Sorry didn't mean to take away from your original post but just had wanted to clarify. To answer your question here is something from PC:

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx99.htm

Wishing you the best in your journey

Hunny (and your protective alters),

At first, I thought that I had DID because I had always felt like 2 people fighting for control for one body. But when I read that I don't suffer from many of the symptoms required for a DID diagonsis, then I thought that depersonalization alone is what I have. I found that 3 out of the 6 symptoms listed in the link you provided match what I have been experiencing consistently. They get worse when I am stressed out.
The information you provided about introjects in those with Dependent Personality Disorders very helpful. I am just beginning to remember the extent of the abuse. The more I journal and read the more I understand myself. I am not seeing any therapist right now because I can't afford it.

Thank you and I wish all of You the very best in your healing journey.
((((((((( Hunny ))))))))) ,

Psychee