alters visiting therapy

How do you get the others to come out to help during therapy. They used to help me when I saw my old T. I'm not sure how to get them to come out. Its like they are scared. I can't deal with the new therapist all on my own. Its scary.

I have that problem too. I have one who dose come thru and deals with my anger. But i also have to pull her back in because she can get quite verbally agressive. I ould like the others to come out esp little susie, who is 4, but she is to sceard.

good question...I feel I have the same problem. The only one that seems to come out is my mute alter, and makes therapy very difficult.

I never had any control over who would come out when. the first time I realized others were coming out during therapy after I was diagnosed and told I had DID I was embarrassed and a bit scared of what might have happened while I was gone. My therapist put me at ease by telling me nothing has changed I just had a name now for whats always been happening. whether I knew it or not the alters were coming out during therapy. Now that I know whats been going on nothing is going to change with who comes out when, there wasn't really any way to stop it or force it to happen. I had alters that dealt with those things that we were talking about and it was their jobs to deal with those things so they come out. its when I don't have any alters to deal with something that none will come out. She kind of laughed and told me now that I know I have DID and alters, its going to be those times that we are talking and I don't switch into an alter that Im going to wish an alter would come out because looking at myself and my problems smack dab in the face is never an easy thing to do. But thats what I was there for. thats what I was paying her her time and her room, make me look at myself and my problems and find solutions. Now I had a hard choice to make to stay in therapy and be willing to take a hard look at myself and my problems smack dab in the face or drop out of therapy and either deal with my problems on my own or the way I have all my life ignoring them, shoving them aside, dissociating. I chose to stay in therapy. it wasn't easy having to deal with things when no alters came out. there were many times when I wished I had an alter whose job it was to take care of those hard things we talked about in therapy. But by the time we were done talking about those things it was worth it. I learned a lot about myself, solved many problems all on my own and that made me proud of myself. It showed me that I was stronger than I thought I was and I could take care of myself and find solutions to my problems without having to fly off to the ceiling.

its hard to be the responsible one instead of an alter but give it a try. you may be amazed by what you learn about yourself.

In the past we did different thing to let alters find safety in therapy.
1.we invited alters to just watch how a therapy session went. this allowed them to see if it was safe to talk remember most alters were punished if they said the wrong thing to the wrong person.
2.let the alters journal what they want to talk about to the T. This will give them a chance to know that T is able to accept them.
3.talk with alters find out what hey need to be safe. to KNOW that they be safe. With the children it was a safety bag. this bag had items that each alter chose to feel safe. weather it be a stuffie, blanket, or fun games.
4. best of all do you have a person that all feel safe with. take that person with you.this will give not only the insecure ones security but let the protectors a chance to stand down and deal with their own trama.
5. ask to do phone conferencing this allows for part to have therapy in the safety of their homes. let them get to know the T then gradually move them into same room therapy.
6. online chats help alters to learn to share and know that they are safe from past abusers.This is our saving grace. We are able to be in safe place and know that no one hurt us.we be by fire and a big room so if someone comes near us we have people make them go away. If we no safe with them.
7. by talking and working you will be able to find ways to help each other heal. Listen to yourselfs they are scared but want to heal to find their fears then find ways to help them not to be afraid no more.

We support what the others say and we add that we do covering one eye then the other and that sometimes indicates two or more different alters at a time.