[Newly_diagnosed]

I see my T once a week and it seems to be ok. Some days better than others but thats normal for all of us. Lena(16yr alter) hates my T. She even sabatoges the system so we don't go at times.

Anyway question is. Although my T knew about the lack of trust between her and Lena, she chose to confront her on what year it was. Lena was petrified and was out for several days after leaving T in tears.

Is this something I should recognize as a reason to find another T. I feel that its wrong what she did to Lena, however the majority of the system does NOT want to start over with someone else.

Any advice?

Ohhh I should add that other than that one incident my T has been fantastic.

Thx

[kasva]

hi newly diagnosed...
For me..I wouldn't leave my t for that....but I would ask her why she confronted your 16 yr old alter. I think my t might have asked that of a particular part and my part being somewhat upset..but it didn't go any further so I think it actually gave this part (that didn't like therapy) food for thought. Anyways no real advice hear just my experience. good luck.....kasva

[WePow]

Isn't it interesting that so many of the teen alters on PC appear to have trouble with Ts? I know how it is for teen alters to really take personally something T says. What I am going to have to do with mine is allow her to spend more "face time" with T than the other alters. I am even thinking of devoting every other session just for her! It will mean I have to "sacrafice" a bit of "my" time with T - which is very precious to me! But if that is what it is going to take to work through the issues burried that deep, then that is what I need to do. So my suggestion for you might be to give your teen even more time with T. Allow them the chance to work things out between them. DID is a very unique situation with therapy because it really is like bringing in different people along with "you" to the session. So personality clashes may arise. Be gentle with your system and honor the process of healing.

[just2b]

I often wonder the same. i think I am in current denial at times, but know that something is there. just wanted to write that your not alone.

[Elysium]

Hey ND...

My T asks my parts what year it is sometimes too. It helps her know how present and aware our parts are of the current time. Knowing where our parts are on the timeline helps the T's understand and work with the parts.

Sometimes our T will challenge one of our parts and shake the system up a bit. Not because she's trying to be mean or difficult, but because she is trying to show a certain part that it is okay to be angry with her and around her. That the anger does not change how she feels about the specific part, and that that part can trust her not to abandon them when those angry emotions come out.

Your T could tell your teen that she won't leave and that she could be trusted until the cows come home, but your teen, if similar to mine isn't going to take that at face value, because actions speak louder than words...and many people have probably told teen they would not leave, but they did anyway. Sometimes the only way to build the trust is by showing that teen could get as mad as she wants and T would still be there.

These challenges are not easy, or fun...but there will be more where that came from, and you are going to have to fight the urge to run when heavy emotions come up because that won't be the last time.

I would see running away and switching T over this as one more way to sabotage your treatment. When you get triggered in these ways, it is most important to communicate with your T and tell her how you/your parts are feeling.

At some point...T will probably screw up and say/do something stupid tbat will upset the system. It's important to have patience in this situation because they are human, they do make occasional mistakes, and just as you are learning about your system...so is T.

It's a partnership...and she can't help you if you don't let her.

[WePow]

Elysium - thanks for your words of wisdom!

[anderson]

Elysuim and wpowers You both spoke so true. we feel same way about all those that choose to help and support us. At times any body can make a mistake and we have to allow that part to learn to trust those that may make small mistake wont hurt them in big way like those in the past have. This would be a good way for her to find out that T wont hurt her or the body. Good Luck from all of us.

[Hunny]

Well said Elysium.

Hold on Newly Diagnosed

patience and perseverance
and quiet times with therapist at end of session helps.

our teen has really been helped here again, thank you all.

[DLHsSystm]

We agree with everybody that has answered and THAT is a miracle!!

[Newly_diagnosed]

Originally Posted by Elysium

Hey ND...

My T asks my parts what year it is sometimes too. It helps her know how present and aware our parts are of the current time. Knowing where our parts are on the timeline helps the T's understand and work with the parts.

Sometimes our T will challenge one of our parts and shake the system up a bit. Not because she's trying to be mean or difficult, but because she is trying to show a certain part that it is okay to be angry with her and around her. That the anger does not change how she feels about the specific part, and that that part can trust her not to abandon them when those angry emotions come out.

Your T could tell your teen that she won't leave and that she could be trusted until the cows come home, but your teen, if similar to mine isn't going to take that at face value, because actions speak louder than words...and many people have probably told teen they would not leave, but they did anyway. Sometimes the only way to build the trust is by showing that teen could get as mad as she wants and T would still be there.

These challenges are not easy, or fun...but there will be more where that came from, and you are going to have to fight the urge to run when heavy emotions come up because that won't be the last time.

I would see running away and switching T over this as one more way to sabotage your treatment. When you get triggered in these ways, it is most important to communicate with your T and tell her how you/your parts are feeling.

At some point...T will probably screw up and say/do something stupid tbat will upset the system. It's important to have patience in this situation because they are human, they do make occasional mistakes, and just as you are learning about your system...so is T.

It's a partnership...and she can't help you if you don't let her.

Thank you so much.. Your reply put everything in perspective and I will stay and fight through the pain and hard times. Thanks!!!

[Newly_diagnosed]

Thank you for all your help and wisdom. We are going to see our T today, so will keep everyone posted. Again thank you and PC has already impacted our lives for the better!