[krazy_phoenix]

Hi dear ones,

I just wanted to let you know where I am at...well, more to the point I wanted it down in writing for prosperity reasons, just in case this is an isolated phase!!

Our very depressed host has been away for some time now, since before xmas, and the 2IC has gone completely awol and we don't know where. But over the last week, us three main energies have actually done a great deal of work internally for the first time co-operatively and the rewards have been huge. In one of our discussions, Jenni had an epiphany that the other two of us can see as probable. So we wanted to ask you, our trusted friends in arms, to see if you too have a similar scenario in your system.

We found, after some initial searching, that most of our energies can be matched to be polar opposites of each other. For instance, my polar opposite is Riley, who is one of the main energies running the show at the moment with me and Jenni, and Riley is sarcastic, defensive and short-tempered. I'm funny (well, I think!), open, and it takes a bit to get me upset. Jenni's polar opposite is a fragment, or not a full energy because she doesn't really have any thoughts or desires or whatever, but is nonetheless very there, her name is Jedda and Jedda tends to be Jenni's anger if that makes sense. Then there are other pairings that came to light. We had never seen this in ourselves before but when we looked at our individual personality and task oriented strengths and weaknesses, we found this correlation to be true for us. We were wondering if any of you have a similar notion of yourselves?

Anyway, since we three are finally accepting of each others faults and weaknesses and are getting along, we have also started experiencing current time openly to create new memories for us all to share instead of blacking out and life has actually started to make sense. We by no means are thinking of integrating, we just want co-operation! And so far, no one has had a hissie, and those that aren't in our 'front tribe' will need to prove themselves worthy of the trust the other three of us has had to earn between ourselves.

I've been wondering if thats why the 2IC left, to force us to work some things out. If thats the case, I wish she'd have warned us! Yet the timing couldn't be better with new baby's arrival due in 5 short weeks. The host and the 2IC birthed the other two bubbies, but the three of us are prepared now for the task if they don't return in time. Wish us luck!!

Thanks for listening and as always, your feedback is extremely valued.

Hoping all is well in your world,
kp

[loveregardless]

hugs to all. it sounds to me like you are doing a lot of work in there! we send you lots of love!!

[anderson]

Yes, we have Polar Oppisites. We once read an article that explaned How alters reacted to a trigger. Each one of us had to be able to cope with different types of situation on both sides of the spectrum. So you are doing great work to be able to see and understand that in yourself.

[Hunny]

Hi, to all of KP who are reading this:

It is sounding very similar. You are doing great work! Good on you!.

Hunny

.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((KP))))

Thank you for sharing. I am so proud of you all for the work you are doing and for the co-operation now beginning to take place. I know for us the co-operation has made it possible for us to collaberate and to set up a safety within that was so needed and so that I do not feel so alone in all this. As for the ones that seem to have stepped out, they will come back when it is time and when they feel safe enough to do so.

For me I have had those within that stepped away for a long time due to fear and to not being accepted from the outside. They felt threatened and went deep within for safety. They have just now come back when things have settled down and a safety returned for them and they are learning to trust again or maybe really for the first time. It is slow with them but they have stepped back out. In time you will understand more.

As far as polar opposits I am nt sure. I know that there are complete opposites within but are they opposites I do not know. I know there are off breaks or off chutes within though I am unsure yet of all they are or are not. I know that Dark and Death were together and not really oposites for when Dark could not go on with all she held Death stepped in to hold that feeling of wanting to die. She and Dark were very important in that they hold some of the deepest hurts and thoughts.

But when I look at Victoria, she is strong and does not feel. She knows our system and she seems to be the one that knows when I am ready to get anothers memories and can be the one to be sure we are safe. Kathleen carries our laughter and she seems to not have as many feelings known to me yet. She loves to play sports and to be that part of me that has fun. So I do not know if they are polar opposites but they definately have different feelings and the ability to do different things.

I do not know if I have said anything to what you are asking, and I am sorry if I am not anywhere on the right track. All I know is I am really glad you have this new awareness and are co-operating within your self. The work you are doing is fenominal and what you have accomplished is wonderful. It takes a lot to come together and to trust. Sometimes that is the major task when everyone holds so much and no one learned to trust one another for we could never trust in ourselves.

Thank you for sharing and I look forward to hearing more. Know that we care and are here for you. We will be thinking of you all and keeping you in our prayers for the arrival of the new baby. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[Lillyleaf]

Yes we have many but each one shows a diffrent thing. We have persay a "normal" 18 year old wile her twin is opposit as a "perfict" 18 year old. still we ahev two that are mean and so sweet will not hurt a fly. we have others to but I dont think I should take any more of your time.

Well I wish you well,
who ever you want us to be

[justdontknow]

(((KP)))
It sounds like you are doing so much good work inside. Sometimes it seems as if our work just takes forever and lots of times Cris (our host) gets discouraged and leaves. We wish she wasn't so hard on herself but we understand her and are trying to help her be the person she wants to be. I am not sure about polar opposites in our system, but I haven't met everyone yet. I hope that we can be strong like you someday. Thanks.

Faith

[krazy_phoenix]

All of you are so so amazing. Thank you for your support and feedback. DPS, yes you were on the right track - thank you. Justdontknow, hunny, anderson, lillyleaf, loveregardless, thank you for your comments and time responding. The best thing for me that has happened now that me (Jenni), Ronnie and Riley are on co-operative terms is the sharing of our memories. Me and Riley still are a bit on the defensive - its by no means smooth sailing - but the main thing is we are aiming for a common goal and recognise that it we need some give and take to get there. With the sharing of memories, there has been some bits of life that now actually make sense!!! Like sitting in class in secondary school 20 years ago and a small mundane but interesting (to me) incident took place. I only had half the memory of it and it was just one of those things that always intrigued me. Riley had the other half of that memory! Amazing!!! Now I know what happened!

I know that T's for DID'ers tend to get caught up in the past horrors, but what we're having the most success with, the part that the T's don't get, is figuring out the rest of the past of 'our' life. It means so much to us to look at a photo of us and husband, and now we know where that photo was taken and who was out front at the time. As there are only the three of us in our little pact, there is of course much much still missing, but the little bits we have are so worthwhile.

Thank you all again, hugs to you all, and prayers for all your journeys.

kp

[anderson]

(((((KP)))))),
That is the same for us. When we are able to share and know what happened. Maybe not all of it but the fact that we are finding out that we did do the best we could with what we had to work with. Be strong in the fact that you do have a surport team beside you that fact alone makes all the difference in the world. Even when you all may want to back hand him he is there for you goood luck and we hope to hear more soon.

[Hunny]

I too found the puzzle pieces fitting together for more than just the trauma, KP. The other combined memories came to be my/our own. I found some/many connections that I did not have to go over with my therapist, until much later, if at all. The life that was mine started to become one life instead of many, in terms of incidents. I journaled almost everything and made the connectosr for my own use and now there is this feeling of just belonging, internally. Not that I have arrived at full integration but there is definately a difference. There is learning how to cope with the externals of life as one mind and body and heart and at times that splays me out again and I have to deal with life on life's terms. It's more than I can manage at times but that is usually when I have to ask for outside help.

Thanks again for you KP. Hope all the developments with the baby are going well.

Love,
Hunny

Originally Posted by krazy_phoenix

All of you are so so amazing. Thank you for your support and feedback. DPS, yes you were on the right track - thank you. Justdontknow, hunny, anderson, lillyleaf, loveregardless, thank you for your comments and time responding. The best thing for me that has happened now that me (Jenni), Ronnie and Riley are on co-operative terms is the sharing of our memories. Me and Riley still are a bit on the defensive - its by no means smooth sailing - but the main thing is we are aiming for a common goal and recognise that it we need some give and take to get there. With the sharing of memories, there has been some bits of life that now actually make sense!!! Like sitting in class in secondary school 20 years ago and a small mundane but interesting (to me) incident took place. I only had half the memory of it and it was just one of those things that always intrigued me. Riley had the other half of that memory! Amazing!!! Now I know what happened!

I know that T's for DID'ers tend to get caught up in the past horrors, but what we're having the most success with, the part that the T's don't get, is figuring out the rest of the past of 'our' life. It means so much to us to look at a photo of us and husband, and now we know where that photo was taken and who was out front at the time. As there are only the three of us in our little pact, there is of course much much still missing, but the little bits we have are so worthwhile.

Thank you all again, hugs to you all, and prayers for all your journeys.

kp