[anderson]

We so confused. We had such a good time with those at soul sparkle that we ask some one that we known that would not hurt us if we good get to know him and his wife. We have so few people that we can just relaxe and be comfortable with. It just totaly blew up in our face. He took me and my son gardien to get paper signed and noted. The converstation went on around us but no way for us to join in because we can't do what others do. We finely asked them can you not just sit and take with us and get to know us. Is that so hard after it was all said and done we felt dirty and we feel like we lost what little ground we had gain. Each time we try to make friends we get so over whelmed by them not allowing us to talk ??????
WE sorry just tired and confused we want friends but I guess we do not know how to make them.
WE can talk here so much better but we no can do it here ?????

[fadedspirit]

((((anderson))))

Is like that for many others too anderson. We think it a society thing rude thing that many people do even to each other.

[kasva]

(((Anderson))))))))) ...hugs if okay....sometimes outside people seem so cold...but other outside people can be nice...i think its a matter ,for me, to get one toe wet with new people...then a whole foot and maybe someday more of me. its lonely sometimes because i feel so different...im not sure how different i am but it sure feels that way. take care ((((((((( Anderson)))))))Kasva

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((anderson))))

Thank you for posting and for asking and saying what you feel. It is hard sometimes to get to know others outside for so long we stepped away from people and for so long we were in a place where it was not okay or safe to reach out. We stepped away from people in order to be safe and to keep going. In stepping away we isolated ourselves so that we would not be hurt.

To step back in sometimes is hard as we seem to have our guard up and rightfully so as that is all we have known because we had too and still do. So many people do not undertand those that are mentally or otherwise not okay. Maybe they do not understand that we are people too that are no different then them and they judge unknowingly before they get to know us. They do not understand that we are no different than anyone else.

Sometimes they are afraid that they may not say the right thing or that maybe they are not sure what to say. It takes time to build a relationship with anyone and sometimes when it is beginning guards are up on both sides. I know for us sometimes we have our guard up more than we even realize as that is how we always have had to be and it is hard to allow that guard to drop, even unknowingly.

People have no idea how many times they do not listen and how it hurts someone, sometimes they know they are doing this and sometimes they are not aware. But give yourself time to work this out. When we pulled away to step back out I know for us we tend to pull back automatically and it takes a lot to really allow anyone close. With great reason.

I know how much you want friends and it will happen. Keep trying and slowly opening up and in time you will get more comfortable and so will they. Starting slow and building is the safest way for anyone. But I do understand how you are feeling.

Just remember to breath hon and know that there is nothing wrong with you. Being different is what makes the world go around. Learning about others and being open takes however long it takes. Know that we are here and we are listening. We care and we are your friends always. We understand what you are saying and hope that what we said makes some sort of sense.

We can relate but sometimes getting our thoughts to convey what we are thinking is so hard. Know that you are doing what you need to do and in time things will change. Keep posting and sharing and if I have said anything wrong it was not meant that way. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[anderson]

(((((DPS)))))))
You say nothing wrong and we like your post. It is so hard for us to able to write like you do you make so much since and able to put ideals so clearly in words. You help us find peace in so many ways. Big Thank You for being here. From all of us to all of you.

hope this help best we can do for now we here you your not alon

[anderson]

((((ALL))))
It is hard on us to step forward and ask for someone to take the time to get to know us instead of what others tell them. We have live so long under the threat of letting others hurt us and then having the time when those that we had learned to trust. It was like a Disney land vacation we had friends and hope. Then we had a major black out. The night mare began all over again the only thing was this time we all had memoirs of being with good people that turn their backs on us.
We don not trust easily and each time we step forward and have some one treat us that way it makes it harder for us to want to just be. Southern lady did come out called the both First Class F..... D.... heads. for being so insensitive to both us and his wife. They did not even try to sit down with us to find out who we really are they just acted out on a rumor and pushed us away.
I am sorry we are trying to over come a way of life that has lasted over 10 years and the Disney land vacation is not making it any easer on us. We are so tired of going to the people that hurt us with their words and try to get them to understand that we are not what others say but when you only have two choices of the people you can go to it makes life even harder.
This body as a whole is getting tired of moving of just surviving to get through another day just to heal enough to gain streinght to approach those that we know would not hurt us physcally. Because of the trauma and those that refuse to hear us for so long. It was not nor is it just one alter that is feed up with this life. It is the fact that we are tired of the very people that have appointed themselfs as our watch dog allowing others to hurt us but when we are hurt to the point we all say F... this world they are the first to sit on us to make us stay to endure that which is happening but choice to believe the dark souls and not allowing us to have friends in our everyday life.
sorry venting on how many things we do not have control over and how those that have made us their personal charity case can be so blind and stupid. As a scientice you would think that visual proof would be neceasarry.