Thanks for everything...but

Doing some evaluation:

It has been good to share ideas, hopes, lows and highs with everyone here but it still feels like something is missing.

a. people my own age chronologically
b. have more input from my own country
c. have more collaboration like conferences for those with DID, etc
d. have more programes to relate with created images rather than words
e. have more people understand the gravity of this condition based on early childhood and not sweep it under the carpet because I have been wooed into complacency.

People have different ways of evaluating as well, I suppose.

Anyway, I still would like a site for those of us who have gone from original dx of PTSD to DID.

It appears that there is no progress toward any of this since I have been here. As much as I have appreciated PC it is still for many different conditions and only we can move this forward.

I am somewhat disappointed but facing facts. Just need to state this.

I still feel that there is so much to have happen for all of us.

Thanks,
Hunny

(((((((((((((((((Hunny))))))))))))))))) It's hard when we don't feel like we are getting our needs met, especially with pasts like ours. I hope you find what you are looking for to gain peace. Perhaps you can stay at Psych Central and add something else to help with the other things you are missing? We care.

I know this doesn't help much, but I know the feeling. To me, the only thing I can think of is to turn to a T when PC isn't able to help, since there's really no one IRL that I can turn to, but I don't have a T I can trust atm...

((((Hunny))))
we hear you and when we feel stronger we think of ways to work with you more to meet the things you all need.
Just want ed you to know we hear you from all of us to all of you!

((((((( Hunny ))))))))

I have been to many forums for DID anf I have to say this is the safest I have ever come across. That being said it has changed over time and I have been here a long time so I have seen much. I will say that it is what ever you want it to be. I'll tell you that when I first came it was such a relief not to feel alone and also at that time I made friends (which is difficult for us) fairly easily. At that time there was much about the trauma work that we all do but there was also a good many threads in here where we could even relax! Now that was a shock!

The Garden was made to create a safe place for the littles and vulnerables but in creating that it did seperate, if you see what I mean. I'm not sure it was such a good idea to seperate the groups when we are striving for wholeness. Therefore the forum seems disjointed and split just like some of us are already.

Sorry to ramble. I hope you stick around, it is a safe place and you can create what you need here.

((((Hunny))))

Just wanted you to know that we are here for you and we care. I hear you and understand what you are saying. Here we have grown and shared, supported and carried one another at times when the road seemed so dark and alone. Sometimes it feels as though we are alone and that no one understands. But somewhere in the mix of all the emotions and feelings, the thoughts and tears, there is a similar bond between us.

The awful abuse that we all suffered to become what we are stands to reason why we are how we are. Many times there are no words to describe how we feel or what we are going through and we just reach sometimes not even knowing what we will say, but we write. Black on white across a screen that reaches out to those around that connect at some point----the point of hurt.

Sometimes when words do not make sense and we cannot find the words to say when someone is hurting we pass along a hug and encouragement to help get one through. Sometimes words are not enough for what we are facing and it is those times that we hold on to one another through the friendships and the I cares and we hear you. Each time someone tries to share what is so deep it takes strength and courage, and we accept each for who and what they are without judgement or expectations.

We grew up not knowing trust or not understanding no expectations or judgement, for so many of us that was all we knew. Taking risks to reach out is sometimes hard and finding that strength within sometimes takes all we have but each time we do it we take back another piece however big or small it may be, we take it back. So many times trust never existed but yet we take a risk to trust here and maybe it is ourselves we are learning to trust first.

Sometimes through tears and fear we write what is on our hearts hoping that someone somewhere can connect even with one feeling, one word, one sentence and give some kind of hope back. Each time those that are here reach back and give so much even in a time when it is so hard. You have given so much of yourself to all of us and you have shared your pain and the things that you have gone through. Your words so many times have touched my heart even in silence when I cannot find a word to say back, I feel what you have said.

PC to me is like home and a place I can come to, to reach out, to share, to encourage, and to find even an ounce of hope in this really dark path I am on. You are part of that family and hope that I feel. I hope you will hang in there and ask for what you need, like pegasus said, create what it is your are needing, and reach as much or as little as you need to. We are here for you and we care. Thank you for being a part of our life here on PC. Know that you are loved.

Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

yearning and vision go hand in hand
in my heart and soul
I am grateful but
it's a longing and there is no fixing
there is listening and responding
each cares and hopes
shall we ever stand before each other
with our outer faces
meeting your inner fragments and parts
you meeting mine
it is all to much to comprehend
I know, it can never be for some of us
but it is a yearning deeper than
should be allowed to be felt
a reaching for belonging
acceptance
affirmation
vulnerable, knowing you inwardly more
than my own mother knew me
more than my own sisters
or brothers knew me
but never seeing your face
never knowing that on the other side
of your words, my words
there is a human being
with toes, fingers, ears and eyes
this would be too much to ask for
but I will ask anyway
you cannot alleviate my desire
by requiring me to say this
computer is enough
anyway if it came true
it would never be
as grand as the anticipation
I expect
at times you look like gods to me
and goddesses
like how we never see God we just know,
if you believe it, that he exists
your words to me and I
expect a few of mine create
this god illusion
there is no fixing it
it is just an old lady's dream
if the heart can be touched
by such understanding
through words alone
why then does it feel so lonely
here
I never would take you
for granted, not intentionally
and I know that you are
real and you are clothed in
real skin
this machine is the divider
and maybe it is better this way
this machine is fixable when it
breaks down and I don't know
that I always am
especially to meet the
needs
*sigh*
don't long for me, okay
or try to fix it, okay
or be offended, okay
it is not a judgement
it is a realization
it is because there is always
more
and I can ask for more
and say it
sorry I don't know
how to calm every fear
or make you believe
that I am not disappointed
with you because I am not
but only I need to state
what is for me a unmet
unfelt need, maybe even a
selfish want
the site, the machine I
am grateful for
but mostly
mostly, above a mostly
forever and ever and ever
I am grateful for each
of you and I don't
ever want to say I'm sorry
for wanting to meet your
real eyes and arms and
shake your real hand
and if brave enough shake
your real hand
and even if brave enough
shake your real hands.

(((((Hunny)))))
That is quite lovely! I too ahve wondered and wished. It is a very real desire....please know that we care and are send much comfort adn gentle hugs....