[shatteredmirror]

Only been in treatment a year know, and have long way to go. A new one wrote in my journel last night. Dont know if i will give it to T. 'I' am afraid to.

Letter to T
I am afraid to trust you. I have learned that you are very accepting for the most part. I also realize you are human and have your own set of limitations. I continue to test you constantly to see just how much trust I can have. There has been so many times I have been betrayed, trust is extremely dificult. You say you have 'seen' parts of the whole, but you have your preferrences as to who you perferr in treatment. Do you not want to help all of us? Or just those that are more compliant? The only parts you will meet are those that feel you will accept them, that they can trust you not to reject. Even Bella is afraid of you. You talk as if thereis control over each other. Sometimes this may be true, but not always. There is much fear in this house, fear of rejection and disbelief. Fear that we are not real, we are. Running and hiding is a way of survival from pain, a way that may be continued if needed. We are one, but we are many. Please show acceptance and allow our trust to become greater in you.
Tina

Not sure why i am posting this, reassurance? dont know, SHelley

[allthegirls6]

Hello Shatteredmirror,

I think your letter is wonderful. Why dont you risk it and pass it on to your T.

You are in my thoughts

Iris

[Monty_girl]

Hi shatteredmirror and all inside. I think it's great that this has been writen. It takes a lot to let T's read how you feel inside. It's a big step I think in the right direction. I think everyone needs a chance to be heard. Even if they are mean or upsetting. They are all still a part of you and need a voice. I think T will understand that and needs to understand how everyone feels inside. I know it's scary to hand over what has been writen. But if you feel comfortable then all means let T read. If you are still unsure about T reading it at this moment, then just hold onto it for a later session. It's like dipping your toe into the pool, cold at first, but can feel better after you jump in. I've been in treatment for 5 and a half years and still finding "pieces" that are now feeling comfortable enough now to write or come to sessions. It takes a lot to build trust. Take as much time as you need. Like my T has said in the past. It took years of abuse to be the way I am now. It's going to take years to straighten everything out. Much Luck to you. It sounds like you are moving forward. Sending you good thoughts, Monty

Great idea, great letter.
I was terrified when I "admitted" my different parts to my counsellor. She astonished me. She was so accepting, said she wasn't surprised at all that I felt that way, that this was what was happening. Even encouraged me to let out some of these parts.
Caroline

[shatteredmirror]

Thanks, dont know what i will do, guess it kinda depends on who ends up showing up/ got a list of wuestions i have had for 3 weekd now, still afraid to give them to hime. (sigh( thanks will let you know friday what happens. Shelley

[vanna123]

I think writing out what you want to say is a good idea.
If you are unable totell your T what is going on you can just hand him the paper and let them read it--- it will give you a jumping off point to start talking with him about what is on your mind.

[Mahali]

Give it to T. It is an important step. In my opinion.

[shadowdancer]

i think it was very brave of Tina to write out this letter and i agree that it should either be read or given to your T. i also know that it is very scary to share something that personal...but i think it would be a very big step in the direction to healing. if you guys ever need to talk (any of you) feel free to PM me.

((((((((safe hugs))))))))) <----if they're ok

-shadow

my parts often write to T. there just isn't enough time for everyone to have a say. i have several times dropped off a letter or one of Vicki's disturbing poems a day or two before a session so that she can read it and we can talk about it--or not. my T says it really helps her to "stay in the loop" so she knows how to best help us--and often who needs to be heard.
w_i

[allthegirls6]

We all write to our mummy (the lady that Audrey sees in therapy) once a week and mummy writes back. We tend to post it in time for her to read and write her response to hand to us when we arrive for our session. It really heps to write as it gets out things that are hard to say in front of someone.

Iris and all the girls

[shatteredmirror]

hank you. wasnt going to give it to him, Was toooo scared. But he saw there were still papers on my lap and asked me. Said he could have it as we left, Well that kinda scared him (didnt mean to( he thought it might be sopmething bad. sooo, i ended up giving it to him, cause i felt quilty for that.

He told me he accepted all the different parts, cause they were still all me. Said he had already seen some of the really scared ones, and told me who. So much for being worried. Am glad one of us gave the letter to him, but are still very scared and worried

guess will see as time goes on. Am comfortable with him (as much as can be). know he doesnt have much experience with DID, but he keeps learning and researching just to help as things happens.

Think i reaallly got lucky to get this T.

any hoo, thatnks all for supporting us.

shelley and the zoo

[fgh]

<font color="purple"> Hello. My doctor lets all of us write to him buuuut I do not get much time to do any thing and no thing I know matters for talk stuff any way. jj.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( jj )))))))) safe hugs if ok

Sorry you don't get more time
What you say matters on here

Fuzzy

Your talk matters to me JJ.

Petunia