[kerria]

It's too difficult to have this part be a part of my life. We remembered her history and it's so painful. It hurts so much to think of everything she went through. T can't help me- now i'm flooded with all these memories ans i don't have any idea what to do or where to go. There's no comfort.
It hurts so much that T said he can't help. Why can't anyone ever help me? i'm sso tired of the struggle and the pain and isolation.

What would you do if there were parts inside that you couldn't live with the minds of?

i don't know what to do.
tears,
kerria

Kerria,

How are you doing right now? Right here in the moment?

That's what we need to concentrate on, getting you home safe. Don't worry about anything else right now. You need to feel safe enough to go home or to a safe place like a friend's house.

Let me know,

Petunia

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((kerria)))))))))))))) we're here. we're listening. i'm sorry that t isn't giving you the support you need. if he feels like he can't help, he shouldn't tell you that, i don't think. he should find someone who he thinks can.

that has to be a horrible feeling. i hope you're home now and feel safe in the environment there.

sending you wishes, hon.

kd

[(JD)]

Maybe you need to look and see if you can find a T that CAN help and support you in this?

Don't fear another part... especially when that part of you feels safe to come out and speak their mind! No T worth their salt would respond to anything a patient would say with that response IMO!

How are you doing? I'm sure some of those here on this forum would welcome any of your PMs if you wanted to share more. but not in forum.

[kerria]

This morning everything is not any different- the part that T drew out is still here and it feels horrible.

i'm so devastaed by my T. He chose the time yesterday to talk about how he can't help me "If you don't like what you get- that's it. Find someone else."

Why do i always have everyone desert me when i'm in trouble?

i have to quit therapy- there isn't any inside and outside support. T can't even help me in the place that he made me come. He's not a good T because his goal is getting people to know parts but not helping them live with the effects. my life is so much worse now. i never want to go to therapy again.

i don't want to go to work everyday but now it feels impossible that the work person would come. i wish there were somewhere safe to go. everything that's wrong is in me. i'm panicking because it's living with my parts that's the nightmare. i can't live with myself.
my family doesn't understand. T doesn't care. i'm so angry with T for getting me to this place and then telling me to find someone else if i don't like it. It gives me fbs being in this trapped situation.

(((Petunia)))
(((Ozzie)))
(((Kimmy)))
(((Sky)))

i don't want to be myself anymore. Before i could justv say i hate my parts
now i hate myself.
tears.

[allthegirls6]

Did your Therapist really say "If you don't like what you get- that's it. Find someone else." How can that be helpful? Was that his/her exact words? Ive never heard of such a reply?!!!

Is it possible he said something else and you have misinterpreted him?

I think you need to talk to your Therapist and if he really feels like this then you both have some serious work to do on your relationship.

You are in my thought

Audrey X

[Monty_girl]

Oh my Kerria
T's need to be supportive. From what you said it doesn't sound very supportive. I'm very sorry. I don't know what to say at this point. If T is saying that they can't help you then I don't think that they should of started having the parts come out in the first place. Is almost like reopening a wound and then tossing salt in it. If a T is going to work with anyone with DID they have to understand that it's long and hard work. Sounds like T was in over their head. But that doesn't help you any with what T has opened up. Just understand that we are all here for you when you need to talk. All we can offer you is our support here. Please don't hate yourself. But I can understand how bad it's feeling right now.
Here for you, Monty

[kerria]

(((((((((Monty))))))))
thank you for coming.
T treats DID but i hide how i am . tears. The outside isn't what's inside at all. i hate knowing the history of this part that is mine now.
tears.
i can't even go to work. i'm too upst to go. i'm dressed and struggled to get into the work part but i can't. i can't even call work. i don't want to be my name again.
tears.
i hate being this. no one can help.

((((Audrey))))

[kerria]

A L O N E

we're so alone in this pain because no one can make this change, this part's history go away

[misty]

kierra, therapist do not know all!!!! History will not go away and that is bad and good too. The good is that I/we can share what was with others who know the same or similar and that is good. You are not alone!
mlyn

kerria
i understand the feeling of having to deal with the new information and i am sorry that your T is not supportive. it is really difficult when new history is recovered. perhaps you can journal it? keep yourself safe and post as you need to.
w_i