[rhonniee]

I am new here, my husband has been diagnosed with DID. We have good days and bad days.
I have a question though, can one of the alters do something that is out of character for, I guess, the main person?

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by rhonniee

I am new here, my husband has been diagnosed with DID. We have good days and bad days.
I have a question though, can one of the alters do something that is out of character for, I guess, the main person?

Most definitely

My name is Dawn. I have DID. My husband cannot handle it and chooses to ignore any reference to it. I appreciate your coming here and asking questions.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by rhonniee

I am new here, my husband has been diagnosed with DID. We have good days and bad days.
I have a question though, can one of the alters do something that is out of character for, I guess, the main person?

the diagnostic criteria for DID says they can and do. thats what DID is - having two or more alters that take control of the hosts behaviors and live separate lives from the host (main person). they might have their own bank account or their own clothes, some even have their own homes separate from the host.

example you wouldnt catch me in a waitress uniform working in a bar, flirting with the customers, smoking on breaks but one of my alters was a waitress in a bar, smoked and drank. I neither smoke nor drink. but three of my alters did. I have a fear of heights but two of my alters love being up high in balloons, airplanes, the empire state building, the observation deck at Niagara falls, and other tall buildings. I like to have apartments and homes on the first floor and they loved the higher the better on anything. when my partner and I were packing up to move where we are now I found 6 bank account books that 6 of my alters had going that was separate from my own bank account.

having alters do things out of character from the host is what being DID is. each system of alters is made up of all kinds of alters. some are just like the host as protectors to ensure others dont notice things and there are at least two that are out of character from the host. most system of alters is also made up of alters of varied ages. my system of alters ranged from ages 2 though 20. and a couple older than that.

alters can be any way shape and form that the host needed in order to survive including doing things the host would not normally do.

[Eriksplus]

Welcome!

(Webber)Erik

[Hunny]

Rhonniee,

We have definately found that outside people (singletons) have been baffled by the various parts' behaviours. Trying to explain them to a singleton (I'm not fond of this word) is hard, at times. Before help, I had no idea 'why' the person/me/us would do something and then do something completely opposite.

It makes outsiders look at us as not reliable, honest, lacking integrity, behaving emotionally different etc that is until we found therapists who understood the did system. They helped us explain our reasons why and even helped sort through the system to be able to meld a few together after doing some trauma, including neglect and abuse work.

There is hope Rhonniee, if you can maybe focus on some good self care of yourself. Likely, your husband has survived some pretty huge things growing up and it became his survival mode.

I'm always pretty delighted at partners who stick with the survivor and even thrive. It is 'good news'. But remember to take really good care of yourself. The good therapists have to take care of themselves too. It can be a pretty long process but we think most of us are worth it!

Originally Posted by rhonniee

I am new here, my husband has been diagnosed with DID. We have good days and bad days.
I have a question though, can one of the alters do something that is out of character for, I guess, the main person?

[rhonniee]

Originally Posted by silentwhisper

Most definitely

My name is Dawn. I have DID. My husband cannot handle it and chooses to ignore any reference to it. I appreciate your coming here and asking questions.

I can kinda relate to your husband. When I had my first experience with an alter from my husband, I was completely blown away. I did all kinds of research seeking answers that he could not give me. My husband tried desperately to not believe what was happening. After a few months, he became more rational about it.
I found this site because he had an episode while I was taking a mini vacation with my friend.
I generally keep stress and triggers to a minimum so he doesn't have to slip away and avoid things. (if that makes sense)
Anyway, he thinks that one of his alters may have had sexual relations with another woman.
I at first felt like that couldnt happen, cuz he loves me and that is so out of character for him. When I first researching DID, there was not a lot of information about it.
But after reading posts on here I am beginning to understand a little more.
I am feeling a little better, at least the knot in my stomach is starting to unwind.
I love my husband and want to do whatever I can to help him.
thank you for answering.

[michelle421]

hi rhonniee, thanks for posting here!

my partner has DID as well, and when i first found out, i did a lot of my own research and learning to find out more about how to be supportive. it can be a bumpy road, but i really applaud you for seeking a community like this. it's a good place to talk to others and learn about ourselves as well.

it's wonderful that you can be helpful to your husband, and over time i hope you both can grow and learn together. healing is possible!!

welcome to pc! feel free to ask questions, and i hope you will get to know all the great people here. take care.

[genn]

Welcome to pc and DDer's world :-)

[Miracle1986]

Welcome to PC and the DD forum!

And to answer your question... most definitely

[anderson]

welcome to pc and did forem.
we welcome the question asked becuase it often gives us insight into our selvs.