Trying to heal (should I put a trigger? oh well I did anyway)

We have been trying to heal for a long time now. Some days it seems like we are getting better and others it feels like we are falling back down. Sometimes e are socail and a great freind. sometimes we are mean and unfriendly. We can not stop it. We are diffrent people and even with in those people we arnt always nice. But everytime e get things sortted out we are pushed back down. We live with the parents and they are the reason for us to have most of the problems. Right now when they talk to us we have to switch and it hurts. physicly it feels like blood is burning when they talk to us. Why is this? Is this anger? I dont want to be angry at them. Can we heal while we live with them? I want us to have friends but how can we keep our selves from dissoceating in front or near them? Is healing something you can do in our place in the world right now? Thanks for hearing me out.
Hope you all are well,
~Mayple

(((((lillyleaf))))))i hope that hugs are okay. it sounds sooo difficult for you now. i wish i had an answer....im sorry...please take as best care of yourself...is there a way to get help ffffffffffffffor you guys that is not your parents?kasva

Hi Mayple,

I think the "blood burning" feeling very well could be anger. We experience that feeling sometimes too.

healing while living with the parents? That can and will be hard, because it is hard to heal from something that you are constantly reminded of, as I'm sure you probably are by them, huh? Oh sweet Mayple and all... I really wish I could just wave a magic wand and make all the hurt and everything go away and make you all magically heal.

However, I think there are things that you can do to help yourselves deal with the hurt, frustration, etc. You can come on PC on get support... or if you don't want to talk to other people about it just yet, you may want to try journaling. Write about your experiences, feelings, anything you want to. If you feel like it, you can even write down icky bad stuff, get all your bad emotions and feelings out, and then tear the paper up into teeny tiny pieces... almost like you are destroying the memory or feelings, you know?

We are always here if you or anyone need to talk, our PM box is always open to you guys. We will never judge you or anything. We will simply listen... and offer advice if you ask us to.

~ Amanda

(((Maypie)))
healing can take place but it is slow. for us we had to deal with our abusers to until we found a way to be alone. The fact that the apartment is for server mential Impared and fully paid for until we get outside funds is the only reason that we have this place.
~
the blood burning feeling that is what we felt when we finely went off at those that hurt us in public. that did nothing for our reputaion they even used it againts me later but you know what The times that we went off and did not get physcally hurt also allowed those within to feel more sercure with the ones that did have alters under their control because it ment they would not punish us for speaking out like we had been so many times in the past.
~
learning that it is safe to be mad about hurts is hard. Being able to acknowledge that those that hurt us did the best that they could with what they had to work with is even harder. Only you can decide what those with in can do or not do where you are living at. Have you talked to you T about options?
~
Like amanda said just keep coming here and know that we are listening and that at times your questions help us to solve our own issues.

Maypie of Lilyleaf,

I'm not really sure of the answers or solution but the questions you ask are really good. You sound respectful to the parents and that is good on your part however the cost of living in the difficult situation is taking it's toll on you. Sometimes I have to take it one minute or one hour or one day at a time in these types of circumstances.

Be encouraged, there are people reading your words and thereby listening to you. Keep posting as you are able.

Have a nice day

((((((Mayple))))))

If you need to talk to CE, she is more than willing. I know that having someone to talk to that fulfills the same role you do is helpful. Take care.

Cris