[lonegael]

I haven't started a thread here before, and this isn't a DID issue most likely , but i think it is a dissociative issue that is coming back to bite me. Over the last couple of years I have been having increased aversion to the kind of sixties,/seventies music that get's called "lounge music" but gets played as sort of "jazz or pop-lite" in a lot of contexts. It's gotten to the point that I get panic symptoms when i hear the typical combination of instruments and chords and rhythms start up (just think Dion Warwick "the Look of Love"). The church we go to has a worship team that really likes using that type of music and it just about sends me into the foyer every time.

I know where this comes from. At least I think I do. My dad used to drink heavily and when we would go skiing my mom sent me to go get him out of the hotel bar more than once at night when it was time to go home. I think the anxiety link to the music is from there. But why now? Why so strong and why isn't it getting better once I made the connection. It's to the point I almost throw up just hearing the blasted whisk hit the cymbals Does anyone recognize this sort of thing? somewhere there is something going on that I am just not getting in touch with.

[pegasus]

Sounds like a PTSD flashback type thing which can be coming up because there is more to the memory that needs to come to light. Worth discussing with your T if you have one.

Hugs

[Miracle1986]

(((lonegal)))
I'm sorry you were triggered
I hope you can get some help with this.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Dear Lonegael,

I know what this is like. So I am really there with you Lonegael, I understand how you feel. It's not just the fear and anxiety it causes but the uncertainty of it was and what it will actually bring. So we sit there wondering.

[googley]

It sounds like a situationally bound panic attack. Ie it only happens when you hear the music that is triggering. Sadly, just because you know what causes it, doesn't always help the panic. You may want to do some exposure work to the music so it doesn't cause the same panic. If you have a T you should talk to him/her about this.

[lonegael]

I don't have one right now. I have tried just sitting it out, which I do. It's almost as if I can't get the levels up high enough to have it be effective. also, I just can't really remember anything more than vaguely embarrassing about geting my dad out of the bar. Yet this started when i saw Angelas Ashes, the scene where the kid goes in to get his dad out oof the pub at the brother's funeral. It hit me like I was punched in the stomach. I can honestly not remember anything that traumatic ever having happened in that context. So the music connection I can plce, but not the extremity of the reaction. I'm just, whoa. Thanks all.

[DancingAlone]

i am so sorry lonegael that you are being triggered by certain music. to me music comes from within the soul and is an expression of many emotions and feelings that cause memories to form of the events when you first heard the music. i feel so sad when i hear the song "Cherish" as i lost a wonderful love when this song was popular (and of all things "Hang on Sloopy"--he gave me that album). and the earlier Beatle songs remind me of an innocent time of youth when i had fun, went to friday night school dances, got to dance with a guy i had a secret crush on, etc. (still love the song "I Wanna Hold Your Hand")

i hope that the sad memories will retreat as quickly as they appeared and hopefully be replaced with other songs and good memories.

wishing you healing thoughts

[Nupoet64]

I agree with Pegasus on this. When I read your post I immediately thought of PTSD flashes. There is something related to the music that is supressed and T needs to know what is going on so you two can explore it in a safe place and safe way. I am sorry this is happening. It is difficult. It sounds like it is just under the surface. Good luck and much support....
A trigger can be anything and come at any time....it is hard, especially when it blind-sides you.

[Hunny]

Lonegael:

Me too I'm so glad they barely play their (the parent's music) in malls anymore... I love music but that music triggered me right back into their home where feelings of being trapped returned.

Our therapist did session working with these memories. There were just so many, night after night after night. Truly we needed to disappear inside ourself...not knowing at the time it was how we kept sane, well sort of sane.

Taking off the layers was essential before we got to work on that issue.

Take care.

[lynn P.]

((lonegael)) - don't have any wise words - just hugs for you.

[purple_fins]

I'm sorry you are struggling with this

I can't believe others feel like I do about certain music..... I thought it was just me

I don't know how to handle it, as far as advice but would like you to know you're in my heart.

I can't handle hardly any music from the late 60's all through the 70's(when I was a child)... ugh.... I seem to accidently go numb.... hate that-- but..... I must get feeling safe somehow and so it goes.....

never stop searching for inner peace

respectfully,
fins

[Perna]

I had that happen with music, still do a little bit. I think it is like dreams and other unconscious stuff; when you start working with it the better/more you can handle the more your unconscious unlocks for you to handle.

For me it moved around to different eras/types of music too, as they represented different sets of memories (childhood songs versus songs from high school versus specific Christmas music, etc.).

[Fuzzybear]

[roxyanne1]

Lonegael,so sorry for whats happening to you with music. i cant give any advice as i dont know any but ican hold you in prayer as i suffer from It miss it so much but am scared to give it a go. So hun i hope you get some wi se tips,sorry i dont have any
Roxyanne1...((((lonegael))))

[lonegael]

I had no idea this was such a common trigger. Not to this extnt. I am speechless and I really wnat you all to know I am thankful for your support and offer mine in return. Huggs to those who feel safe with them, peace to all. Wow.

[anderson]

we feel that way to some music is just like someone is poking us and not able to stop reacting to it.
just want to hide to and cry just know we are listening.

[lonegael]

Thanks, Andersson, that is a real good description. Like being poked at. Thatnks for the hugs too. right back at you and everyone else.

[kasva]

Hi Lonegal.....I have the same reaction to certain kinds of drums. I want to run screaming from where the drums are. I too only know innocous reasons for the anxiety. It feels like a ptsd flashback of sorts to me. I hope that you can get a T to help you through this. Hugs if okay.

[michelle421]

my partner also struggles with certain music - especially with the upcoming holiday season, it's hard to avoid triggering music after leaving the house. you never know if some store or someone in public will be playing or performing songs that trigger. my partner actually tries not to leave the house for anything but absolutely necessary trips between thanksgiving and the end of the year. i feel happy to help during those times to make sure we have what we need. but it is tough. the triggering music is that powerful and upsetting to her, and it's that ubiquitous - it's everywhere, really.

i feel for those of you who struggle with issues about certain music. music is very powerful, and it's an important part of most people's lives. i wish you all strength to get through the tough times. and yet remember the music that makes you feel peaceful, safe, happy or loved as well. maybe it could be helpful to have a song or two that you know so well, it can be something you can sing to yourself (or just think to yourself, have another one in your system sing it to you, whatever works for you!) when you feel triggered by other music. have a special song that makes you feel special. i have a few songs i know that just make me smile and feel warm inside. just a thought!

[purple_fins]

i feel for those of you who struggle with issues about certain music. music is very powerful, and it's an important part of most people's lives. i wish you all strength to get through the tough times. and yet remember the music that makes you feel peaceful, safe, happy or loved as well. maybe it could be helpful to have a song or two that you know so well, it can be something you can sing to yourself (or just think to yourself, have another one in your system sing it to you, whatever works for you!) when you feel triggered by other music. have a special song that makes you feel special. i have a few songs i know that just make me smile and feel warm inside. just a thought!

Thank you michelle
I totally agree -- that music if VERY powerful.
It can cause me to "disappear" and yet some music can calm the shaking within and some other types can even express what the self is not able to- tenderness, anger, excitement and many other emotions that can be a struggle to express. I've been known to gravitate especially towards angry music -- think it's because anger is not expressed through self as it is unsafe, so the music helps get out some of what is being felt.

Some of us would be lost without music and yet...... it is a slippery slope for sure!

best to all

fins