Wanting to give up

We don't know what to do now.

We hung on and waited for this appointment, thinking at least some decision would be made. NO decisions and no options.

We have an appointment with GP on MOnday next week, with counsellor on Tuesday. Not feeling like we can hang on. Wanting to give up, retreat, stay in bed and admit defeat. Or something more dramatic, move from pinching self to something which leaves marks that might show how much it hurts inside to be us. Or just vanish, be nothing like the nothing they think we are.

Unable to cope without people telling us it will be OK and they can't do that all the time. Tired of pretnding. Tired of using everything we have to hold it together. Tired of striving, always striving to be better. Always failing to be good enough.
Caroline alice elsie shula and baby don't know where we will end up any more

((((((((((((((((caroline)))))))))))))))))

you're going to make it through this...somehow, someway. this i know. your system is designed to make it thru what most ppl can't. lean on that system right now. ask for their help. they will, you know? share all this pain you're feeling right now.

DID'ers are VERY inventive. together, y'all will make it thru this. hold on.

we're here.

kd

we're all feeling all the pain now.

It hurts too much.

Taken some valium
Don't know what else to do.

yep, calm the physical symptoms down then concentrate on right now, this moment, today. let tomorrow come soon enough.

for now, you have a plan at the beginning of the week. when there's a will, there's a way. i have a feeling this is going to work out caroline. i really do.

be safe,

kd

I can't cope now though

I have this week to get through first
How can I get it together enough to teach tomorrow
Actually the teaching I can do it's the little things like talking to other staff and finding all the worksheets and resources I keep losing. COping when someone throws up a problem I am expecting to solve. All that stuff.

I wish I had your confidence but I don't. I tried to find it but I was wrong to believe in it. Wrong to believe I deserved help. Wrong to believe peope would want to help me.

you were not wrong! You DO deserve help. I want to help in any way that i can and so does Ruth. we'll figure out a way. lean on me a bit, friend, and i will help as best i can.

it isn't your fault that the appt didn't go the way we all hoped it would. all that means is that we have to turn our thoughts in another direction. we can do that! please don't give up, Caroline. you are all very important and i am here to offer support and encouragement and anything else you might need. (((((((((((caroline)))))))))))))



-shadow

(((((Caroline)))))
I have been going through this desire to give up for about 4 weeks now.
The others on the forum can help us not to give up. Lots of members have been helping me.
Sometimes I think we don't deserve their help, & we shouldn't be draining their energy but it's not right, you know.
PM any time.

Thank you.

Still here. Still struggling. The first struggle today was getting up - I so wanted to stay in bed and hibernate.

C

Thank you zorah.
I do feel just like you say about needing help. And I feel it is unfair, because I don't know what sort of help I need.
C

We're sick of itall, Seven/.
All bigs horrid.
Caroline is brave, but we are tired.

(((((((((((Zorah)))))))))))0 ((((((((((((Seven))))))))))))
Sorry if I have made you tired.
C

No Caroline honey,
It's not you who makes us tired
You make us all feel better
It's life that makes us tired, we're so tired of people dying, & us being left alone !!!!
<font color="#880000">Zorah's nest</font>

thank you zorah

I know I do tire people out. I know I am a drain. I am glad you do not (at the moment) feel drained by me.

I'm sorry for your pain. I wish I could help.

C