So wanting to do it, but really trying not to

hating myself so very much, and wanting to s@#$e my thighs..secretive, yet out loud...trying so hard to drown out the noise, the pain...feeling so unworthy, so vulnerable...doing my best to control it, yet overwhelmed to stop the pain..feeling like a friggin failure, not good enough, not wise enough..knowing better but submitting to the familiar...hating me..hating them, not even really sure who them are..guess that is what the problem is..so it all comes back to me..

(((((((((((((climbingkit)))))))))))))))))) I hear your pain. I am so sorry t hat you are feeling so vulnerable right now. You do not deserve to feel unworhty or inferior. You are wonderful just the way you are. I hope you come to see the good things in you. I know it is hard and so easy to fall back on what makes you feel better at the moment. Try and be safe.

(((((((((Climbingkit)))))))))))))))

Im so sorry that you are having such a hard time. It sounds like there is allot of anger and pain inside. I wonder why its coming out. I wonder if there is another activity that can allow it to express itself. I do hope you keep yourself safe.