possible trigger

i posted two short stories in the short stories thread about my real life memories, they have triggered me no end since then, culminating in me getting hit over the head with a metal bar last wednesday whilst i was away from the safety of me car buying a train ticket to go and visit my son next week in london.

apparently it was a random racial attack, i have no actual memory of the attack, only what the police have told me, which is not a lot, and i dont trust them anyway, differant story.

i "woke up" in hospital whilst being interveiwed by the doc he told me i had been to the police station, they had arrested and interviewed me and i had given a statement, i dont remember doing any of this and walked back to me car in a confused state, i have lost 17 hours, the last thing i remember is buying the ticket and the ticket is time stamp coded at 11 am.

my friend is letting me stay in his house until i go to london next week and couldnt even leave his house today to go to the police station to see if they had interviewed him on video or audio tape so that i could "see" how my alter acts, speaks, reacts to others around him, obviousley the police were concerned enough to send him to the hospital, but confronting what he said or did in the interview..... i dont know if it will trigger me again, and if it does will they section me/him this time?. these are very real concerns for me, has anyone else "seen" or had oportunity to "see" there alter/s on video tape at a later date and if so how did they react?. normally when i switch i dont remember anything so this is a first for me.

(((((((((((((((((((((((mellors))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry you were assaulted. I understand "waking up" in places. It can be really scary.

I get freaked out just finding out that I have done something without knowing it. I think seeing a video of myself might put me over the edge.

Hmm, that is not very helpful. I guess I don't have any advice. But, I wanted you to know that I am listening and am here to support where I can.

I do wonder if you would recognize yourself in the video. I mean obviously it is you but my t says that when she talks to other parts that I look very different, especially around the eyes and the mouth. For myself, I don't think I could watch the video because I just feel too crazy in general. I think it might confirm in my own mind things I am not willing to accept. But, that is only for me.

I think whatever you decide will be right for you.

I hope you have a wonderful time with son. I'm so sorry you got hurt while trying to get a ticket to go see him.

Take care and be safe.
Wantto

(((((((((((((((((mellors)))))))))))))))))))

i'm sorry all of this has happened and that an alter has the police questioning you.

i hope that this alter isn't triggered at the police station. he may get angry when he sees himself on tape. let's hope he realizes that this is pretty big and goes even deeper. insiders here that make messes go way deep afterwards and leave me to pick up the pieces hopefully, that will happen with you this time as well. i think that would be the best.

we're thinking about you and hope for the absolute best outcome. please let us know.

be safe,

kd

i spoke to the police today over the phone and have decided not to persue this any further, the option is still open to me to ask for a copy of the videotape at a later date, if i want it.
my reasoning is if i see the tape and switch i will not get to see my son again this year, last time was in february, and if it ever gets to court they would have to show the video tape recorded interview of him as evidence of the attack, as i dont remember it the defence would pull me to pieces, i dont need that, not at all.

thank you kd and wantto for helping me make this decision, much apreciated.

simon

((((((((((((((mellors)))))))))))))))

what a horrible thing to have happen! people can be so hurtful...i am sorry that happened.

please take care of you and stay extra safe... it sounds like your decision is a good one and you do have your child to think about.

if you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me. i will help any way that i can.

stay safe,
shadow