Vicki is telling T that she knows everyone inside and that there are insiders there aren't. she is about 13-14 so i guess some attention getting is ok--she never had it before, but she likes to tell she knows everyone. i am afraid that T will think she is lying about what happened to her (us). Vicki is like living with an immature adolescent. any ideas?? i had boys not girls, so i don't know what to do with this!!

w_i

Just my purple-petaled opinion here. Maybe our other friends can step in and offer better advice.

T knows Vicki, right? Then she/he probably knows that's what's going on. You may want to tell T though...just so you'll feel better.

14 years old. Tough age. Exaggeration and drama are the main ways for them to get attention. EVERYTHING is magnified and worse case scenario. Very emotional time for all involved as they bust outta childhood into the wacky world. But when all is said and done, they are just little children underneath all the BS, trying to act grownup.

At least "mine" is.

Angry as hell but just wants to be loved.

By the way...I don't have any flesh and bones kids.

Petunia

[tamzinrose]

Yeah being 14 sucks

[allthegirls6]

WI is it possible to speak to Vicki? I too have a 13 year old but a very quiet nervous one. However, Im just wondering if it would be at all possible to tell Vicki about your worries. If thats not possible then I would say to your T and explain what is worrying you. Its always better out than in.

All the girls

[marsha]

I have 3 girls and one boy. My oldest is 14, then 10, then 9 and the baby boy is 4. Ask me a specific quesiton and I will try to help you. I do know a little about girls but am still learning.

I too think it would help if you talked with your therapist.

My journals say that sometimes while in memory pieces I try to confuse my present therapist about what name goes with what memory and so on. My therapist tells me when that happens and that she knows what is going on and says there is no need for her to fix the situation. when people tell lies while in memory pieces its because at that age (of the memory) I did that behavior and in other memory pieces it is because of a trust issue. When I do trust her telling lies and trying to mislead her will either slow down or stop all together. So she is not worried about it. Personally I think it is funny that I did that to her when I first started seeing her. She was right I didn't trust her back then. and when I talk to my mother I asked her if I told lies as a kid and she said boy did I.

I don't lie anymore. Sometimes I want to. Real truth stuff is hard to hear.
W_I told lies as a kid but only to cover up what she didn't know. We got into alot of trouble that way. She didn't know me.
It was easier then. Now she knows me and I know stuff she doesn't remember and it's hard to know them.
We have to tell her sometime.
Vicki

yea I know. There's alot I don't remember and it is hard when I find pictures, poems and journal entries that I don't remember doing about things I don't remember. but you know Vicki even though I hated finding those things it made things easier for me. If I couldn't remember what I had done that day I could open my journal and see that I paid this bill or went here or there and did this and that. I no longer worry about the lack of memory through out the day. Keeping journals while I was in the memory pieces named Katherine, Mary and so on made it easier for when I had to start looking at the things that happened when I was a kid. You might say journal writing was one part of starting communication between me and my memory pieces. Another non past containing thing I did was writing notes to my memory pieces and while in those memory pieces I wrote back. For example if I couldn't find the remote I would write on a piece of paper "does anyone know where the remote is?" and I would leave the note on the table or hung on the fridge. A couple days later the remote would be on the table with a note in another handwriting as to where it was. I would write notes that I was going grocery shopping and ask if anyone needed anything. the next day or so a note appears saying bubbles, rhubarb and so on. Once I got used to this kind of thing finding something that had content from the past wasn't so bad. Its still abit weird, and scarey but now I see the gory pictures or peoms or paragraphs and think "great someone is trying to tell me something" Sometimes I throw them away and write a note that I "need more time please don't leave them where I can find them" Other times if they seem to fit in with what I am working on at the moment I write a thank you note, and still other times I give the stuff to my therapist because I don't want to throw it away (something about it says its improtant but I don't see the connection) and I don't want it in my house at the moment either. I know my memory pieces have things that I need to know and now Im open to finding out what that is but it took a bit of time for this to happen. I was not the one that started the communication stuff. I would be doing something like writing to a friend or writing in my journal and I would see the words - Ignore-ance does not disprove existance. and the handwriting was Katherines. She would write all kinds of phylasophical stuff like that. I started writing just to get her to stop writing that stuff. My past therapist thought it was so funny because she had already been on the recieving end of Katherines witty and to the point comments. The point is there is plenty of time for you to tell her what she needs to know. and it will happen when she is ready to know those things. Glad to hear you don't tell lies any more that will make it easier for her to get ready to find out what truths you do know that she does not.

We don't journal as much as we should it sounds. I post alot. W_I doesnt read my stuff. Should I let her??
I'm front more than the others. W_I still hides alot. But now we found Crystal. I don't know about sharing time with a new one.
Vicki

I know I posted a reply (how much you want to be it ended up on a different thread I am tired today. LOL)

So here I am again lets see if I can post it right this time. LOL

Yes I do think letting her see what you write is the right thing to do. I would suggest the first time choose something that she already knows about or something up beat. and ask a question about it, or even an introducing yourself to her letter. The object is to get her to start communicating with you not scare her away right. There will be plenty of time to share the graphics and so on after she accepts you are there and is willing to write to you. and hear what you write to her. It's going to be ok. The memory piece named Crystal was there before you knew her name. The only difference now is that the two of you will be able to share what you know and be better able to do alot more things than you could on your own for example My memory piece Mary draws and I along with Katherine and Ann like to write. Now our poems and stories can be illustrated because I am (along with Katherine and Ann)learning the information of how to draw that the memory of mary contained. Tee Tee likes blowing bubbles but rarely had the money to buy them so she used what ever she could find - shampoo, laundry and dish soap. Katherine did the shopping and had a business type attitude. Now with these memory pieces working together I don't run out of shamoo and so on. Katherine is learning to have fun and Tee Tee always has bubbles to blow. It is scarey learning to function sharing memories but it is so much better - I have more variety and activities in my life now and can do more things that I didn't know how to do before.