[Claritytoo]

My therapist has spoken with two of my alters that she knows of. She has spoken to others but she isn't aware of that. When she realizes she is talking to an alter she will ask them questions like if they work, eat, play, drive etc. My alters have specific jobs so it confuses them when she asks them things they don't do or are not aware of as something they could do. I sent my therapist an email explaining how this confuses us. My question is,Can it have a negative affect on my alters when they are exposed to concepts and thoughts that are not part of their job? Or is better to continue asking them about things they may not have experienced? I have one who was happy and innocent until she was asked about eating. She didn't know what my therapist was talking about. She doesn't eat. Others do. She never thought of herself as incomplete. She was just inquisitive, happy and innocent. Now she is confused and quite. And no longer innocent. It is not the therapist's falt, that is not what I am saying. I am trying to figure out how my alters and therapist can communicate without the confusion. One last question. Is it a good thing for my alters to question why they exist? Thanks for any insight you can offer.

[anderson]

( ( ( clareitytoo ) ) )

we sorry that she is confused can you help her understand that someone else does that for her.
The first step in understanding those within is understanding them.
You are going to answering alot more of these question in the future.
Maybe ask your T to help her understand how the others help her so she does not have to eat.

sending big cyber hugs and stuffies and soft blankies to the small one lost in thought.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

My therapist has spoken with two of my alters that she knows of. She has spoken to others but she isn't aware of that. When she realizes she is talking to an alter she will ask them questions like if they work, eat, play, drive etc. My alters have specific jobs so it confuses them when she asks them things they don't do or are not aware of as something they could do. I sent my therapist an email explaining how this confuses us. My question is,Can it have a negative affect on my alters when they are exposed to concepts and thoughts that are not part of their job? Or is better to continue asking them about things they may not have experienced? I have one who was happy and innocent until she was asked about eating. She didn't know what my therapist was talking about. She doesn't eat. Others do. She never thought of herself as incomplete. She was just inquisitive, happy and innocent. Now she is confused and quite. And no longer innocent. It is not the therapist's falt, that is not what I am saying. I am trying to figure out how my alters and therapist can communicate without the confusion. One last question. Is it a good thing for my alters to question why they exist? Thanks for any insight you can offer.

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Can it have a negative affect on my alters when they are exposed to concepts and thoughts that are not part of their job?

sure it can, going to therapy can have negative and positive affects on anyone, both the host (core) and alter, just like it can have negative and positive affects on non dissociative disordered clients.

that said I have some questions for you to think about -

how can a therapist do their job if they dont ask questions?
how can a therapist get to know you if they dont ask questions?
how can a therapist get to know what your internal system is like if they dont ask questions?
how can a therapist know if you have work related problems if the therapist doesnt ask questions about work?
how can your therapist know whether your alters have work related problems if they dont ask about jobs and purposes?
how can a therapist help your alters if they dont know which alters work and which ones dont, which alters do this and which ones do that?

basically thats what therapy is - you or your insurance is paying a treatment provider to sit there, listen to your problems, ask questions, help you fix your problems, help you find ways to have a more stable and happy life.

granted there are therapists out there that will just sit there and listen, say uh huh and Mmmmm a few times and the client just rambles talking about only things they want to talk about and avoid the hard issues.

but most if not all therapists that I have had ask lots of questions that will cause us to think about things like why are we here, what do we want in life, what are our problems, how can we get along together, ....

I only had one therapist that didnt ask questions and believe me it was a waste of my time and money to sit there while the therapist just Mmmmmm'ed and Uh Huh'ed.

therapy isnt always going to be happy, and untriggering. there is going to be times when you an your alters are challenged to think and work on those hard issues like why are your alters there, what are their jobs, purposes, what do you get out of having alters, and many other hard issues.

my alters never had a problem with my therapist asking questions. those that didnt want to go to therapy just didnt "pop out" or switched to another alter that could answer the questions.

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Is it a good thing for my alters to question why they exist?

here in NY / USA the mental health community believes that alters with DID already know why they exist. they are there because the host (core) could not handle the traumatic stuff that happened. they are there to take care of what ever the host could not take care of their self. whether they want to answer that question when the therapist asks it is another matter, sometimes my alters would answer and sometimes they would not.

here in NY /USA A therapist questioning them about their reason for being here is a standard question that is asked in therapy for DID. its a way to discover what the internal system is like, who does what job whats their purpose /reason for being there.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

sure it can, going to therapy can have negative and positive affects on anyone, both the host (core) and alter, just like it can have negative and positive affects on non dissociative disordered clients.

that said I have some questions for you to think about -

how can a therapist do their job if they dont ask questions?
how can a therapist get to know you if they dont ask questions?
how can a therapist get to know what your internal system is like if they dont ask questions?
how can a therapist know if you have work related problems if the therapist doesnt ask questions about work?
how can your therapist know whether your alters have work related problems if they dont ask about jobs and purposes?
how can a therapist help your alters if they dont know which alters work and which ones dont, which alters do this and which ones do that?

basically thats what therapy is - you or your insurance is paying a treatment provider to sit there, listen to your problems, ask questions, help you fix your problems, help you find ways to have a more stable and happy life.

granted there are therapists out there that will just sit there and listen, say uh huh and Mmmmm a few times and the client just rambles talking about only things they want to talk about and avoid the hard issues.

but most if not all therapists that I have had ask lots of questions that will cause us to think about things like why are we here, what do we want in life, what are our problems, how can we get along together, ....

I only had one therapist that didnt ask questions and believe me it was a waste of my time and money to sit there while the therapist just Mmmmmm'ed and Uh Huh'ed.

therapy isnt always going to be happy, and untriggering. there is going to be times when you an your alters are challenged to think and work on those hard issues like why are your alters there, what are their jobs, purposes, what do you get out of having alters, and many other hard issues.

my alters never had a problem with my therapist asking questions. those that didnt want to go to therapy just didnt "pop out" or switched to another alter that could answer the questions.


here in NY / USA the mental health community believes that alters with DID already know why they exist. they are there because the host (core) could not handle the traumatic stuff that happened. they are there to take care of what ever the host could not take care of their self. whether they want to answer that question when the therapist asks it is another matter, sometimes my alters would answer and sometimes they would not.

here in NY /USA A therapist questioning them about their reason for being here is a standard question that is asked in therapy for DID. its a way to discover what the internal system is like, who does what job whats their purpose /reason for being there.

I am lucky, I have a good therapist who I hope will give me and my others the space to breath. My concern is not having my therapist ask questions. I wouldn't be going to a therapist to just sit there. My reason for expressing my concerns here is to see if anyone else has had the same concerns and share them with me. I have not been in therapy as long as you. I am some what new to my diagnosis. I am just trying to figure us out. Many of my alters have one job and that is it. They become extremely confused and some fearful when asked a question that causes them to feel incomplete. The one at my last session is complete in his mind. He knows his job and does it. When he is made aware of other possibilities he begins to question his existence. He was very confused and is unable to discuss things that are outside of his purpose. He can discuss his purpose to the extent of his knowledge. He can not be given information that pertains to the world outside his purpose. He is one dimensional in his existence. I have others who function in the world and can receive information when needed to address questions asked of them. I guess I have been feeling bad about putting them through this. I don't want to hurt them. I don't want them to feel incomplete. To a great degree it is the feeling of being incomplete that brought me to therapy. Right now he is needed at some point he will have to decide if he should stay or return. I am just trying to understand.

[jax01]

My T always asks new parts questions like those. But especialy, what's the date? how old are you? Boy or girl? She feel it's very important to find out when they think now is, and how old they think they are.
A few of my others refuse to talk to her because they don't want her to know anything. but they don't want anyone, including me, to know about them.
I have a teen other that is very defensive about whether she is real or not. She doesn't like to hear anyone say she's not real.
I always wonder if any of them are real, but i have serious denial feelings.
My T says the denial is coming from a part that's job is to not believe, and convince others not to believe. especaily me. She says my others are pretty easy to pick out, and tell from me. But I don't know about that.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by jax01

My T always asks new parts questions like those. But especialy, what's the date? how old are you? Boy or girl? She feel it's very important to find out when they think now is, and how old they think they are.
A few of my others refuse to talk to her because they don't want her to know anything. but they don't want anyone, including me, to know about them.
I have a teen other that is very defensive about whether she is real or not. She doesn't like to hear anyone say she's not real.
I always wonder if any of them are real, but i have serious denial feelings.
My T says the denial is coming from a part that's job is to not believe, and convince others not to believe. especaily me. She says my others are pretty easy to pick out, and tell from me. But I don't know about that.

I think asking questions about their age, gender, or day are fine. I don't think that is the issue for me. I seems that some of my alters are only familiar with their task and become confused trying to understand questions about things out side their task. The confusion is disturbing to them and causes them to feel unreal. Maybe that is a good thing. I don't know. They are real but they are only a part of me. I don't think they know that. Maybe if they become aware of others they might have more choices. But in the moment all they feel is confusion.

[Claritytoo]

Thanks for your response.

[dinkm41]

I am trying to understand my family and friends. I recently got fired from my job. In the last four years I have been saving every thing that I could and my family and some of my friends have given me a lot of crap over my saving (being stingy to my self) But since I have lost my job I have bought a few big items that my family and friends do not agree with. They think that I am being wastful and at the wrong time. that I should not be spending the way that I have. I am not looking for employment at this time and it is known to every one that I intend on taking at least 1/2 of a year off.I love my family and my close friends and value their opions,But I haveheard from all of them at one time or another that i should spend some of my money ,enjoy it while I am young. And when I decide to spend it ,it is a different story.