[invisigirl]

I finally gave in and wrote down some of the things that have been in my head... most of it has come up in the past month or two, but some of it was from 6-8mo ago.. things that they have shown me or said to me or to each other (if that makes sense).

I've had a hard time reconciling it all and figure out what to call it. I suppose flashbacks? but they're like someone else's flashbacks. there's a little one (around 5yrs) and another who is older (around 10yrs) that have both had... 'stuff'.

so I wrote it down. and today is the first time in over a week that I don't have a headache and the noise has gone down a little... kind of like a little bit of relief. so that's good i guess.

still, just writing it makes me feel like a bad person.

I told my husband I wrote some stuff down and he asked if he should read it. I told him it's up to him.

[Catlovers141]

Good for you for writing it down! You replied to one of my posts that was along a similar line of thought, and I think we are experiencing something similar.

What are these "flashbacks" like? I'm not asking you to go into content, but just what is the experience like?

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((invisigirl))))

I am glad you were able to write it down. Sometimes that is all those within need is to know they are being heard and validated. We write all the time and for us it is sometimes what keeps us going. Sometimes even just writing a line if you cannot remember it all helps, then you can come back later and write more if you can or feel like it.

I understand the feeling of sometimes it feels like someone elses flashbacks, as it feels at times like I am standing on the outside looking in and not a part of. Sometimes that is the only way I can handle what it being told or seen.

I am glad that you shared with us and that your headache is gone and that the noise calmed. The relief is something you deserve as well as those within. You are never a bad person even though I validate how you feel as so many times it feels so bad because of what we are hearing or writing. But you are not bad at all.

Please keep posting and know that you are so cared about and that we are here for you. Sending you many gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[invisigirl]

thank you, catlovers and dps.

Originally Posted by Catlovers141

Good for you for writing it down! You replied to one of my posts that was along a similar line of thought, and I think we are experiencing something similar.

What are these "flashbacks" like? I'm not asking you to go into content, but just what is the experience like?

the flashbacks are like just quick images, sometimes a split second like a snapshot, and other times lasting a few seconds like i'm seeing something happen. i've managed to put 2 or 3 of these together (from a little one) and figure out what it is she's showing me. it seems as though it is me that things are happening to, but it is not things that happened to me. and it feels more like 'let me show you what happened to me' ... if that makes sense.

i've also heard them talk. usually just a phrase or a simple description of something. when that happens, i don't see anything, just hear. like recalling a conversation with someone or something someone said to you but without visual memory.

[Catlovers141]

do you see it inside your mind or outside your mind like it is happening in front of you?

[invisigirl]

hmm.. I suppose it's more inside my mind, but still like it's happening in front of me. when I open my eyes it will usually go away.