[Monty_girl]

I'm having a really hard time staying present today. I can't physically speak when I need to. I had a good morning. Things seemed to be going well. But this afternoon I can't stay present. My head is everywhere. I don't know if it's because I'm nervous about the doc appointment tomorrow, scared about T on thursday or if it's because I haven't had any medication since saturday morning. Or if it's just a combination of it all. I'm not suppose to start the new med till thursday night. But I'm thinking about starting it tonight. I can tell my depression is speeding up already to slam me. My head is just crazy. I keep coming in and out. I don't feel safe when it's like this. Everything is pouring down on me.
Monty

(((((((((Monty))))))))
Stay safe.

Caroline

[allthegirls6]

Oh Monty, it sounds bad.

I dont know about meds cos I dont take any anymore, but I would say try and stick to the correct day etc. It may well do more harm than good to mess around with what you are supposed to take and why.

It sounds to me that you have a lot going on and nerves about docs and T will only be adding to how you feel at the moment.

And I know what you mean about finding it hard to stay in the present. Ican be like that and its scary and a lonly place to be. But Im here and if you want to talk then I will listen.

Lots of cuddles from all the girls.

[shadowdancer]

(((((((((((((monty)))))))))))))))

yuck that sounds rough... when i stopped my meds, it was very hard for me to focus too. i could definitely see where that would make staying present difficult... add the stress to that and you've got a few great reasons to be shifting between here and elsewhere. i hope you can get this sorted out and that things go well for you at the docs. PM me anytime if there is anything i can do to help.


shadow

[CedarS]

Anyone you can call on phone?

(((((((((((Monty))))))))))))

[Monty_girl]

Thank You everyone for the hugs and cuddles. Wish I could say thank you to everyone personally. At this point I'm just not able to. My head is everywhere. Think and feel like I'm crashing from so much stress right now. Scary thing is I know that it's going to continue for many many months to come. I need to find some healthy way to destress. Not much is helping at this point. So very scared to go to the doctor tomorrow. I have a 50/50 chance of having the same thing my brother has. I don't like those odds. Someone from work asked me today about the FAP and I told them. Their response was OMG you must be really scared. Yeah I'm scared. I wish I could turn time back and my brother and me could be happy and laughing like we used to. I can't understand this isn't fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((((monty)))))))))))))))))))

sending so many thoughts to you tonite and tomorrow. please let us know how it goes.

love you,

kd

I know what you mean about healthy ways to destress. I have to work on that too. One thing that really helps me is exercise and especially swimming. However, when you are really in the mire that just isn't feasible a lot of the time.
Another useful strategy for me is recording thoughts, feelings and experiences. I use an online journal. It helps me if I have put them down in writing to let them go. Does that sound like it might help?
Time alone is good too - sometimes I listen to a relaxations CD and that is useful.
Youa re right, it isn't fair. So much of what we experience isn't fair. And that hurts. I think you need to carry on acknowledging that things are not fair.
Again, be kind to yourself, Monty.

Caroline

[Gemstone]

{{{{{Monty girl}}}}}}