[lightening1]

I was recently, in the past 6 months, diagnosed with DID. I am having difficulty with my alters fighting with each other in my head. Two of them in particular fight to "be present." They want to be in charge. I have been successful at keeping them at bay for the most part, but they sneak up on me. I have a successful marriage and job and I am worried that they will screw it up.
I am seeing my T frequently trying to work out the issue, but I am losing hope that they will ever get along so the almost constant arguing will stop. It is wearing on my coping skills.

[krazy_phoenix]

Hello lightening1, and welcome to PC. You are in good company here with many souls walking a similar path.

I'm sorry I do not have any help I can offer you in the moment, but please accept my support and know that I am listening. There will be someone here who may be able to offer you more so do check back...

Keep posting, and I look forward to getting to know you and to you being a part of the PC community.

kp

[kasva]

Welcome Lightening, I remember the amount of arguing that was going on in my head when I was first diagnosed. Its gotten significantly better over time. I talk to my parts in my head and I also write back and forth with them. I tend to be more reasonable than most my parts, so sometimes (often lately) I can persuade my parts to be a little more reasonable. Usually by being compassionate with them and listening to their opinions. Good Luck....Kasva

[Omers]

When my parts fight like that I seem to be the one stuck with the headache from it. Grrr! I feel you on this one!
Sometimes it helps to have an agreed on mediator (internal or external).
Do they let you know what they are fighting over or can you just feel them fighting? Mine typically fight over time with massage T or "sibling" rivalry type fights. journaling can help too, gives everyone who can write a voice. Those who can't write can make pictures or appoint a scribe.
Other helpful things we have done along the way:
Set up an external calendar where parts can schedule time for themselves.
Agree on a set of rules before the fight
journal
Make sure everyone has their own space (inside and/or outside the body)
Get to know everyone even if you don't like them or trust them.
Set the firm, uncrossable boundaries and why they are there. make them as clear, simple and exact as you can.
Work on patience

Hope it helps

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by lightening1

I was recently, in the past 6 months, diagnosed with DID. I am having difficulty with my alters fighting with each other in my head. Two of them in particular fight to "be present." They want to be in charge. I have been successful at keeping them at bay for the most part, but they sneak up on me. I have a successful marriage and job and I am worried that they will screw it up.
I am seeing my T frequently trying to work out the issue, but I am losing hope that they will ever get along so the almost constant arguing will stop. It is wearing on my coping skills.

maybe knowing something my therapist and psychiatrist told me will help you - everything you are experiencing now after you have been diagnosed is the same as whats been going on all your life. being diagnosed doesnt change anything other than gives a name to what all your past and present problems are.

back before you were diagnosed did you work at trying to get your alters to get along and stop fighting... probably not if you are like millions of others that are DID.

my suggestion relax. breath and not try so hard. Take it one step at a time with the help of your therapist guiding the way. your therapist is the one that knows what your full problems are and how to guide you through this at a pace that is right for you.

BY the way we cant tell you what to do or how to do things. all we can do is tell you how we managed such situations. with my therapist and I we just let it all happen. we took the attitude that before I knew I was DID everything was fine, my alters all have their own purposes, jobs and reasons for being here so let them do their jobs. its only after I tried to make them be the way I wanted them, trying to force things, that they began fighting over who came out when and for what. so we went back to letting them do what ever they were there for and my learning to take care of my own problems. as they saw I was capable of taking on more they stepped coming out so much and eventually integrated with me.

Take it slow, one step at a time and follow what ever your own treatment plans are that your therapist is helping you with and all will soon be ok again. they will figure out on their own who comes out when and for what. they did so all these years right so they will do that just fine now without your help.