[Catlovers141]

Trigger warning: I don't know if this will trigger... It has some detail about some physically dangerous things a part has been threatening to do.

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I have a type of DDNOS where my parts do not completely take control of my body but I am able to speak to them as well as hear them. One of my parts has been getting meaner lately. She is bullying one of my littles and telling me she wants me to kill myself. She has always said things like that, but now it has progressed to her telling me she is going to kill me. I asked her how she would even go about doing that (kind of referencing the fact that I think I am always in control) and she went in to detail about how exactly she would carry out the act. And then she told me not to underestimate her.

I'm not sure what to do about this. I am seeing my T this Monday so that isn't too far away, but I have to admit it is scaring me a little. I know I don't lose time like other people do and she probably hasn't been in control of my body, but having someone tell me that they are going to kill me and then tell me their plan about how they are going to do it is making me wonder if I should have been more concerned about this than I was before.

Anyone have any experience with this or something they could offer?

[invisigirl]

no advice... just . oddly enough, i think i've experienced the same thing before. though, not with such direct threats. just parts trying very hard to convince me that killing myself is the right thing to do. very scary either way. hang in there. i hope your T can help.

[Catlovers141]

Thank you, invisigirl. I didn't used to have the direct threats. I had a lot of what you are describing. But lately it has gotten worse.

Now it has progressed to constant name calling and reminding me "not to underestimate [her]." It's starting to wear me down a bit.

[kasva]

HI...I have, in the past, had those kinds of threats.They are scary. Your t will be best to help with this. But, I have did, and while a couple would threaten they never actually tried to kill us. When I could distinguish the parts enough like you are doing....I think we have quite a bit of control. Have you tried having this part write down why she/he wants to kill you and then write back to her/him? Anyways...best of luck...it does wear you down. Hugs...if okay.....kasva

[Catlovers141]

Kasva: Thank you for your reply. That part can't really write because as I said above my parts don't take control of my body.

It's been a really rough night. I ended up SI'ing and purging, and I've just been feeling really low. Finally I just ended up telling that part to do whatever she wants to do because I really don't care anymore. So glad I have T tomorrow. I've been going downhill fast.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Catlovers))))

Just wanted to send you many gentle hugs and let you know that you are not alone. I am sure it is different with not being able to have conversations with those within. I know for us that those within that do the hurting or threatening are only doing what they have always done in trying to protect us and feeling hurt.

I do hear you though and validate how scary it is when hearing them. Many times I have had threats from the inside too. At times they are so afraid and acting what they know and I do not have control. Being DID it is different at times but sometimes I think it can be similar. But I wanted you to know that you are not alone and we do care and are listening.

I am glad you see t tomorrow too. It does matter hon and you are important as to what is going on. I am sure it is difficult for you. Please take care of you and know that we are here for you. Keep us posted on how you are doing. Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[hobbittmom]

Just wanted to let you know, hang in there. And go to therapy. I love therapy and my therapist. I have an angry alter too. I put her in lockdown. I think it is possible to cure DID. You have to do magic to kill alters. I have and I was diagnosed as polyfragmented. I've killed lots of angry alters and integrated some. I'm almost normal and doing better. I'm in a safe spot and I'm keeping it. Don't worry. Put her in lockdown and give her rules. She'll be in pain if she breaks the rules. It might work. She's in a lot of pain and won't admit it. Mine's in pain and angry and jealous. She hates me because I'm a loving person. She's full of hate and bitter. Don't let her get you down. I don't let mine. She tries to control me and I let her and it hurts her. She's a control freak and I tell on her. She knows I hate her. I'm sorry you're going through this and know you're not alone. Hang in there. I'm sure you're going to make it. You're strong and pain only makes you stronger. Michael is praying for you.
Safe hugs,
Hobbittmom

[Irine]

Does she say what why she want to kill/die? What is the reason? BTW for "her" to write "through you" she does not need her to take control over you body. You need to just sit in front of a blank page, EMPTY YOUR MIND and write all that comes without stopping.

It anyways is YOU regardless if takes care of your body or not.

I had what seems as my male alter pressure / influence me from within - to throw myself under the train (said it would be great freedom to have the body torn apart and released, and also claiming that another could bring it back to pieces afterwards...and that i will not really remember or feel anything)

Later i made a group gathering, to estimate a situation from recent flash backs and tried to occupy him and do things that he would do. I did that and felt very happy and familiar with something old that was gone. Maye try to ask her why, what she wants, etc.

[lightening1]

((Catlovers))

I have an alter that wants me to over-medicate every time that things get too difficult for the system. The three of us (the alter, my T, and myself.) are working on alternatives that he can be heard and appreciated. Knowing what the alter remembers or wants from you is probably motivating their behavior. Setting boundaries and rules with alters is essential; and knowing that you have the power even though you feel hopeless. I hope that your therapy session goes well.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Catlovers141

Trigger warning: I don't know if this will trigger... It has some detail about some physically dangerous things a part has been threatening to do.

-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

I have a type of DDNOS where my parts do not completely take control of my body but I am able to speak to them as well as hear them. One of my parts has been getting meaner lately. She is bullying one of my littles and telling me she wants me to kill myself. She has always said things like that, but now it has progressed to her telling me she is going to kill me. I asked her how she would even go about doing that (kind of referencing the fact that I think I am always in control) and she went in to detail about how exactly she would carry out the act. And then she told me not to underestimate her.

I'm not sure what to do about this. I am seeing my T this Monday so that isn't too far away, but I have to admit it is scaring me a little. I know I don't lose time like other people do and she probably hasn't been in control of my body, but having someone tell me that they are going to kill me and then tell me their plan about how they are going to do it is making me wonder if I should have been more concerned about this than I was before.

Anyone have any experience with this or something they could offer?

Question - if your alters dont take control how does this alter expect to kill you?

since she cant take control of your body theres no way she can kill or do any harm to you.

all she can really do is be mouthy, rude, and emotionally abusive.

so how would you deal with someone outside yourself when they become mouthy rude and emotionally abusive. use those same tactics.

you can hear and talk to her so maybe acknowledge what she says. but do it in a calm and rational way. maybe you can tell her something like

I am in control of this body, you can say all you want that you will kill me and the others but reality is you can not do that because I am the one in control here.

I hear you and understand you are angry, upset about something. lets work together, tell me what has you so upset and I will write it down for you. Maybe if we work together we can come up with some thing that will work for you and everyone with in this body.

then take the time to do that. sit down write down what shes says and what she wants from you. then negotiate if what she wants isnt something you can give her at that moment.

eventually she will come to see she cant do any physical harm to you and by doing this she will see that as long as shes talking to you, you will listen and try to find a way to help her.