This does not feel okay

Could be my mood and the stress of my week. Could be my drugs for pain, who knows. All I can say is that I do not have good safe feelings here right now. Yes it's okay to disagree but what happened to assuming the best and trying not to hurt others. I am sorry but I feel like a lot of this is silly, inappropriate power struggles and I am not playing that game. I am here to try to be understood and to try to understand. I am here to offer my love and support. I really don 't know what the heck happened here and I am not happy with any of it. I really don't have anything else to say except I am very sad for those who are sad and hurt. You are in my thoughts and I am supporting you from afar.

By the way, if I am still conscious, why doesn't someone p.m. me and we can go to a private chat. I will need reminding on how to do it. I wish us all PEACE! PLEASE< WE CAN'T HAVE OEACE IN THE WORLD UNTIL WE HAVE IT HERE!

we are sad and hurt. we appreciate your kindness offered up here.

it is very painful baring one's soul in hopes of being understood.

sadly we don't find anything silly about any of this.

thanks for the empathy put forth.
__zh

(((((((((((((((((zh)))))))))))))))))
i understand.

love,
kerria

I also understand the feeling of how much it hurts trying to be open and "vulnerable" (and trying to trust oneself and others enough to do so) in the hopes of being understood :~(

Take care,
Fuzzy

(((((wisewoman)))))

We don't really understand what happened either, even after reading all the posts.

(((((everyone who's feelings are hurt)))))


There is room for all of us here, imo.

We don't all have to read every thread, after all. If someone is uncomfortable with a thread, they don't have to read it. They can start other threads, that discuss what they want. Surely, this is how the site/forum is supposed to work.

Diversity is more common than similarity in DD, & our non-DD contributers to this forum provide a lot of support for our various personalities. We don't think it would be productive to insist on a dx for everyone who posts here. It doesn't matter, and half the dxs will be wrong anyway.

horray Zorhah, couldn't agree more.

Being a dissociative forum theres going to be disagreements and so on. just because of the type of things that go on with the disorder for instance with DID there are various memry pieces that cannot act any other way than what their memory content is. My Katherine is 22 and has the memory content, mannerisms, language, attitiude (sarcastic and phyilisophical) of when I was 22. theres no changing that content. its stored for life. Margo is me at 10 years very angry. her words mannerisms and so on are stored that way forever. there is no changing memory content. Mary is 16 she is the memory content of organizational stuff and artwork her words language, manerisms all stores that way forever there isno changing that content. While in these memory pieces I can only say and do what the memory content is.

now Im sitting here reading a post and something triggers and matches one of those memories I'm off in la la land and my brain matches the trigger in the post with a memory in my head and automatically reruns it so now suddenly I am typing from memory instead of logic. The only way to stop this from happening is to have EVERYONE on line not post ANYTHING that can trigger anyone that is DID into going into their mental safe place. The only way to do that is to know EVERY trigger that EVERY DID member has. Now that trigger can be violent, graphic material or it could be something as simple as someone saying they washed the dishes. for instance one of my triggers is the song funny face by donna fargo. so in order for me not to get triggered while reading posts all the words to that song can't be posted. thats not possible obviously. so whats the alternative for DID people to try and avoid triggering posts thats not possible in my case. another alternative dont come to the website anymore? Not happening. like everyone else who finds a support group a DID person wants the benefits of that too. and then if DIDs don't come to this forum theres no sense in having a dissociative board to begin with right. So whats a DID person to do.

Well the way I handle it is that I know as many of my triggers as possible and I avoid them. When posting I give it a bit of time usually about 5-10 minutes and then I go back and re read my posts editing when I can. I also know the moderators are on top of things and if they see something I didn't catch they let me know. When my posts seem to have upset anyone I go back a third and forth time to see what they are seeing in them. It could be I left out a word in the sentence so the sentence means something totally different or what I wrote was ok but needs more info and so on. and in cases where my post has been totally off I appologize right away to the person affected by my posting so that feelings don't get totally out of control. When reading other peoples posts I have sitting here taped to my screen the sentence "I am not always going to agree" this has helped me alot in avoiding debates.

but all this aside people are going to get triggered and people are going to disagree and people are going to express themselves. Just because of this type of disorder its going to happen more often than on the other message boards.

whats matters is everyone IS already trying their best. At least as far as I can see.

I know that its upsetting when the arguements break out here on line but arguements are a part of life, I don't like it but I know its the way it is. no body can please everyone all the time.

Basically my long winded post is for one - to help othersunderstand why the arguements are always breaking out in this forum and two how I take care of myself when posting and reading so that maybe my way will help others with DID.

As for how to taking care during the arguements the way I handle that is that I stay out of it if I am not directly involved with the problem that way those that are having the disagreement are not being sidetracked by me from finding their solutions. While Im waiting I take time to read other posts that I don't normally get to but enjoy.

Take care and hope this has helped a bit.

Zorah:

((((((((((((((zorah))))))))))))))

good post!!!!

Thanks Myself, for your thought provoking post,

"what matters is everyone IS already trying their best. At least as far as I can see".... I agree.

Sorry so short, not "up" to writing much at the present time,

Take good care,
Fuzzy

you're welcome and thats ok. people don't always have to type a novel to respond and you take good care too. glad you're here.

I'm functioning at less than ok right now, but I wanted to say that these last posts sound hopeful. I have been triggered by all the upset and confusion and misunderstanding and I do hope that things here calm down. I'll be around. There are too many people I would miss should I just vanish.

and I would miss you too my friend for I consider anyone who reaches out to me by pm my friend be it in times of trouble or fun.

Things will settle down for thats how real life is and sinse we are real people behind these computers we bring real life into our computer time arguements and the settling down. I think of it like a nonstop circle of - becoming friends to exploring different views on life to arguemnet/disagreements to solutions to friends to different views to.... it nver stops just keeps looping. s oyea things are going to settle down but I also keep myself prepared for the fact that just because things settle down does not mean thats the end of disagreements forever. in real life this kind of thing isnt forever so online the settling down isn't forever.. So I just go with the flow and wait it out when it happens.

take care.

(((( everyone in here...safe soft hugs ))))

Sleeps,

Thanks for your caring hugs. We always appreciate that

Atg