People with DID, want to share?

anderson,

Thanks for sharing.
You could have taken those words out of my mouth because that's where I seem to be just now too.

So I guess mostly you could say we do good, but right atm I am getting pretty angry because it really seems like I'm getting lies. Why do I have to feel the emotions of the others when it does no good at all but I can't feel it when I want to to know if there's just more deceitfulness. ~Ivy

(((((Ivy)))))

Thank you very much! I hope Ivy wasn't way off topic? We do think one thing people don't always understand about DID and about communication between parts is, that it's just like talking to another person. Ivy might say she's feeling great, but I don't know that inside she's really angry, because she didn't tell me. I might've really liked to know how she was really feeling, but I couldn't. Other times, each other's emotions may leak out when we don't want them to. Like last week Milly was really sad for perfectly legitimate reasons, and I felt really sad because of it, but didn't understand why I was feeling sad for no reason that I knew of.
Hope this wasn't off topic? But wanted to try to clarify for Ivy. ~Gretta and Julia

thanks for this thread well i am new to ps but i think its great i never had anyone i could tald to about my did except my T i think talking tosomeone who lives it can understand better. i am currently seeing t weekly he is my third t in past few years i think he,s great i thind he actually cares about what hes doing. and most of my alters trust him. i can tell u more about myself if u like korin but im not sure how much u want to know i dont want to say or tell u any thing that might upset u thats the last thing i want. in any case thanks for listening.

Gr3tta,

Nothing is off topic in this thread.
It's for sharing anything and everything to do with DID.

(((Hug)))

weare8,

We all have a story to tell.

I'm also wary of upsetting anyone with some of the things I wanted to say.

Partially because we are all dealing with DID at different stages, and me discussing recovery may make it sound like my way is the only way. It's not.

I worked out what worked for me and I share in the hope that some of it might be useful to someone else. Also writing about it is very therapeutic.

But things being what they are, what helps one person can be quite overwhelming for another.

I remember a few years back when someone was trying to give me some advice... It was too much. WE couldn't compute it. But over time it began to make sense.

I just want to ask people who share here to take onboard only that which they find helpful at the time of reading, and to try and not let something that doesn't quite compute at this time upset you too much.

We are all friends here sharing a complex condition. I don't believe anyone is trying to upset anyone deliberately.

If it helps we could put a May Trigger at the beginning of our posts.

I don't have anything to post that may trigger. I'm dealing with gathering information and understanding DID and working on recovery.

It's only when I post about the past, about what I believe caused DID and PTSD in me that I may have to start with a warning.

But I don't go there often because I'm all about how DID effects me now and how I'm coping with it as I get older.

It's really nice that we are all very aware of the effect our posts might have on others.

Go steady, take your time, and post and read only that which you are comfortable with at the time.

My chosen method of recovery is to not use names and instead be known by the collective name Rose. And yet when I re-read some of my posts I can see that at least one other part of me has chosen to post. I’ve noticed this too on other boards. I don’t think anyone would see the difference but I do.

I am loving this post, I think sharing ideas on how to cope, heal and relate to others is a wonderful idea and it will help a lot of people. The reason, I believe, that it is so hard for us to at first admit to DID is because we don't know others who have dealt with this, we have not seen it in anything other than an occassional horror or thriller movie which to me is not the best description of DID. We all experience things in our own way, at our own time and with our own healing techniques, what works for one may not work for another, but it can show you the direction that you need to be going and it can shed a new light on things you once thought you knew but really had no idea.

My "progress" with DID, is extremely slow. I was diagnosed going on 10 years ago now and have yet to achieve "co consciousness" even. Only now have I started to become aware of the inner voices. And those are far and few between. It's threads like these though that have given me the, I guess you could call it courage, to not hide in denial over what is going on inside, and learn to understand it better.

I don't hold the memories from our past in my memory, I have only gotten a glimpse of some of the trauma that happened when I was younger. I don't know how many we are, I don't know when they will come out, and I don't know if I will ever be able to communicate with them or learn more than I do now and I'm OK with that.

It's a long road we all have to take to recovery and as much as I tried to force it and push myself into the "cured" field, I failed over and over again. Only once I stopped trying to be cured of this and started trying to listen to it, could I hear them. I am guessing it is much different than everyone else on here, since we are all different in many ways, but to me... I file my DID in the miracle folder of my heart and trust the others inside enough to stop trying to "cure" us. After all they are here to protect me, to protect us.

Fear was my biggest problem in dealing with DID and every time I read one of these posts it helps me with that, I don't live in fear of the next blackout. I don't worry over things that were said by someone else in here and I trust them to come out when they are ready. Speaking to so many "alters" and "cores" on this site makes it so much less frightening and more something to appreciate.
(***possible trigger sentence***)It's as if they stepped in front of a bullet for me every time throughout my childhood, now how could I be afraid or dislike that?

Thanks again for the thread, I really enjoyed reading and just wanted to share my thoughts on DID

... we are afraid of what others will think.
And afriad others will think we are copying.
Have had that problem the only other time we tried to actually say something out in a group..
Even the therapist of that group said "it's amazing how many people copy when the topic becomes this".. the therpist said it to the one who said we were copying. but we weren't! WE WERENT! we just keep it to ourselves.

Don't like being called a copy cat when we open up a big secret that took so much to even say.
(This happened back in 2009).

We’re not actually copying. What we are doing is using what is available to help us describe what we are dealing with. And sometimes it’s just easier to use something someone else does or says to help us to describe what we are dealing with. There just aren’t enough words to explain some of this stuff.

Saying Hi.

I have hope, most of the time although today there is a bit of a disconnect and not sure what is going on. Working through betrayal and past stuff can be confusing but it is more clear since a few more are now communicating. I see the strengths of them and am seeing the benefit to keep up the dialogue. Guarding the little ones has been a priority.

Finding more people who understand when I did an assessment for some students. It made me feel helpful. They were nice and it was good to talk to outside others who mostly understood where the 'hunny combs' are coming from.

Sun and warmth are good for the body and getting some exercise with a bike and doing some fitness assessment and training.

It does feel good to be able to help others understand DID. In sharing we don’t just help ourselves and those around us, we also help those still to come - those people who are just discovering DID and searching for information. What we share here and any where else we are willing to, could be quite far reaching.

Since the depression is first and formost right now, we are questioning whether we really have DID. Depression has taken over totally and kept us locked up in a cell.
Is it possbible to have both, at the same time, yet only able to deal with one dx? The head will not co operate and it feels we will die.

((((Calista)))) So sorry you are feeling shut out. We question the DX all the time - constantly - and deal with depression. Depression usually is the predominate problem so all our energy goes into dealing with that and leaves the DID parts to cope on their own.

I can relate. I have the DID under control - most of the time. But the PTSD and depression is a little tougher to deal with sometimes. Working to work together helps.

What dialogue goes on between alters is good, for the most part. When the flashbacks occur it can help to have another part recognize what it is and comfort the other part. Bouncing between gratitude and confusion trying to keep it light and knowing routine is of some value. Seasons of being able to work on things is good but then the denial wall has to come down whilst that is going on, knowing there is going to be uncertainty. Sleep becomes important along with an easier schedule but not all sleep. Symptoms of being hypervigilent and low feelings change the brain chemistry so help is needed to restore or allow peace and joy. Help comes from many cisterns/sources, day by day...but just starting with today .

...Writing here from a recent known but unacknowledged flashback, ugh.

After reading all the post we wanted to say thanks for this post. At time we to were told that we were copy cats because we told a part of our story only to be told that we be first class story tellers. But we are not we were strong to tell the truth even when no one wanted to believe the truth.
~
Like Hunny said we go through all the emotions, at times overwhelmed by so much emotion that was locked away from us to keep us safe from more harm. Each one of us did what it took to those within safe. So how more heroic is that! We may at times hate our selfs for being different but we are what life has made us not what we choice to be.
~
Good luck and please keep this thread going it has help those within remember some of the things that helped us survive the way we are.

Was diagnosed a year ago as bipolar 2NOS, but from snooping around here, this DID is a big problem too! Never had healthy relationships...as a kid? i would do the sneakiest pranks. Always felt like an outsider, and the meanness was a way i could secretly get back at everyone. This behaviour carried on into college, sabotaging the few friends i had. I enjoyed intense relationships in my imagination, until a few years ago. I'm 47, and trying to start a new mental life, and it's very difficult with no real friends or interests. The up side is i am finally bonding with my parents, as we all have our issues and concerns out in the open.

camel64,

Thanks for joining us and for sharing.

It can be tough, and sometimes we make it tougher on ourselves until we gain more information. That's why we share here - to make life a bit more bearable.

I had rather a disturbing dream last night. In my dream I was very angry at my daughter. I love her very much. In the dream she left and I was very upset that I had upset her so I went after her and told her that that wasn’t me who said those things. I’ve dreamed of alters before but nothing this emotional and upsetting.

Do you dream about your alters being in your dreams?