[just2b]

Well I cant call my T's answering machine anymore, "I am burning her out", and feel that i have no other place to cope with my feelings and my SYSTEM. I have a young child part that is in great need and feels intense attachment to a person that we are no longer able to talk to. We see this person in AA though. I see her and it kills me! I hurt so much inside. Yes i think of going to other meetings, but I am drawn to the meetings she goes to inorder to see her. I want to try to soothe these young parts but have no idea what to do to help them. I ask inside and all they do is ignore me and want to be left alone because its my fault in the first place. I cant take this pain and hurt I feel. I am so numb and its been going on for a few days now; yet feels like months!

[Elysium]

I think that you should find a different AA meeting to attend and get yourself there, at least once a week if not more.

I don't know where you're located but I do know that AA meetings can be found almost anywhere and there are a lot of different meetings too.

I'm not intending to sound harsh, but I recently started going to OA about a month ago and it has been a place where I can go and not only get out what I need to, but I can be real honest with myself there and it helps me be accountable for my actions and behaviors. To read that you are choosing not to go to meetings because you feel drawn to meetings just to see her tells me that maybe you aren't working the steps as well as you could be.

Do you have a Sponsor? If not, look into getting one. If this person you are attached to was your Sponsor, go to some different groups and find someone else that you would be interested in working with and see if they'll sponsor you.

Remember, you've also go us here at PC you can talk with as well. We're here for you. But there's not much we can do if you're deciding to avoid working the program and doing the steps because of this one person. I know it's difficult, but you are giving your power and health away to this person and that's not going to help you to become a healthier person....it's only going to keep you sick.

Find a meeting......work the steps....they work, but only if you work them first!!

Take care

[wanttoheal]

It's so hard when parts have so many needs that weren't addressed or were abused when we were children. I'm so sorry this is so hard right now. One thing I try to do is make sure I give enough time to give parts time and opportunity to do things that are self soothing/nurturing. I may or may not remember the time spent, but I find it helpful regardless. It could be something as simple as putting on a nice movie or snuggling with a blanket to coloring, reading, going for a walk in nature, etc. It seems to help fulfill things that parts need.

Another thing I've done is try to broaden my support system. I think it's easier on people when they aren't your only support. Having a bunch of parts is hard, imo, because sometimes I feel like I never get support and yet find that "I" have been getting all sorts of support. I just don't have any memory of it. Having many sources of support really helps me to feel supported and helps the ones supporting me not to feel overwhelmed and/or burnt out from it.

If you are unable to go to a different AA meeting, can you at least try to broaden your supports there so that one person is not the only one supporting? Or what about going to several different meetings (if that is allowed) so that you have more support than one person. That way you can still keep the support from her that you have without anyone getting burnt out.

Good luck with your journey. We want to support you.

[Korin]

When they begin to surface they are usually very angry at us because they think we caused their pain. Try to explain what actually caused it - or who. Lots of reassurance and promises to take care of them helps bring some peace.

((Hug))

[Hunny]

....and remember there are inner parts that can support another inside part, that's what the family inside is for, so maybe one part can do that for another...

...takes some time though with the inner dialogue to make it happen and even then it takes time to build the healthy relationship, but in the end it is essential for getting along for us here anyway.

[Fuzzybear]

[just2b]

Thanks for all your replies!