sad

am sad lots noise needs it to just stop want to disappear

I'm sorry you're sad
Please don't disappear.
I'm here if you want to talk.

I@m sorry to hear that.

(((Hug)))

it dont matter
maybe it would be better to disappear
i want the quiet numb to come back

its ok deserves it i suppose

It does matter.
Maybe put how you're feeling down here
or write it down and then rip it up talk to
someone you can talk to me if you want
to but get things out in a way that's not
hurtful or destructive. I know it's easier
to push things away but they come up
again until you work through them somehow.
Please take care of you or try to and I'm here
if you do want to talk.
Alice.

sometimes the numb seems like a decent option but...

well yeah maybe just take 'a decent break' instead, breathe and watch the clouds go by...

or...

I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way. How have things been going now since you posted?

dont know what to say just feel bad
and theres alot of feelings pictures
its all to fast i dont understand them
all these feelings its all too loud to
much the numb is better

how can i take a break i dont know how
to make it stop now i dont know how to
just disappear go away just breathe

dunno the same
i dunno how to fix it
how to make it go away
or how to just go away myself

well what you said right there was a good start.
you dont always have to know what to say just
try to write get it out on the page.
i know its easier to try to do something to make
it all go away but maybe its there because it
needs to be dealt with.
sorry youre having such hard time.

I am sorry that all this is coming up now. It does feel better to be numb. But the feelings coming up now are because there is healing happening inside. It feels horrible. But with numb there is not healing. I wish there was a better way for the healing to happen now. I really do.

It hurts and is confusing but it is also healing.
Try counting numbers in your head.
Count to a hundred fast and if you get there do it again - and again until you feel more in control.

I understand this noise that you speak of. I used to hear it all day until I was diagnosed (BP1) and started on meds. I still have them now but they pretty much come at night when I lay down and close my eyes. To make matters worse the sound has 'colors' that come along with it. So it's like a million rainbows running around in my head with the sounds. My pdoc and I are working on the right meds for that, here's hoping.

My T gave me some recent exercises to do when I lay down. They help me fall asleep but unfortunately only for two or three hours.

If your docs have not already you should ask about breathing/relaxation techniques. I really think they would help you with some of that.

Good Luck!

so evryoen for all the complainin and thanks all you for writign back to me
i tried the counting it helped soem and also looked aroudn named all things
in the room and also a walk helped too

no need to be sorry it's good that you wrote
glad you found some things that helped that weren't destructive it's good that you did that.
keep writing as much as you need to.

hope you find the rite meds
breathing does help

I'm sorry you are sad, may I give you a SAFE Hug?

(((((((((((((Anna6)))))))))))) I hope you get to feeling better really soon...

where maybe you could maybe or something.

but I do know I care even though I don't know you!

Peace and Safety I hope you find,
Crew

Yes as Craven said, no need at all to be sorry. When we post words about our pain and hurt and challenge, ( and I think we all do that), it helps others who read it, to feel from our heart. I think you are doing great writing here. Sometimes when I am going to sleep I imagine orange sparkles all around me. And it does help. I wonder if you might try that too. Please keep posting. Because I care lots. And so do other people. <3<3<3 for you

thank you for the nice message
means alot to be heard

thanks for all you said ill try that

thanks dunno what more to say
just that im trying

If you can, will you let me know if those orange sleep sparkles work for you? I really hope they do. safe if thats okay with you.