[SoupDragon]

This is linked to one of my other posts, but this feels a more appropriate place for it. When I feel under pressure with T, I guess this is what I do. The last time, I couldn't even bear to talk as the voice and words that came out of my mouth seemed so unfamiliar and it was qute scarey.

I am realising that this is a coping method for me. T asks me how I do it, but I have no idea. I guess if I knew I could maybe stop it???

I just wondered whether anyone else has any insight into their dissociative states and if they have ever learned to stop them from happening as I really want to try to feel my emotions rather than just switching off.

Many thanks - SD

[CesarioRose]

Nope, little control if i dissociate or not. Sometimes I don't want to dissociate and face a potential situation as me and thus, try to build up a healthy response to stress. Other times stuff is so intense, I want to dissociate and i can't force it. For me, as I can't speak for everyone, but dissociative states are usually responses to specific events/emotions/trauma.

I would suggest trying to pay attention to what may cause a dissociative state when you're dissociating. I know that sounds difficult, and it is; especially if you're like me, and so used to them by now. Try to write down stuff you're feeling and why, if you can, during dissociative state sand share that with your therapist.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by CesarioRose

Nope, little control if i dissociate or not. Sometimes I don't want to dissociate and face a potential situation as me and thus, try to build up a healthy response to stress. Other times stuff is so intense, I want to dissociate and i can't force it. For me, as I can't speak for everyone, but dissociative states are usually responses to specific events/emotions/trauma.

I would suggest trying to pay attention to what may cause a dissociative state when you're dissociating. I know that sounds difficult, and it is; especially if you're like me, and so used to them by now. Try to write down stuff you're feeling and why, if you can, during dissociative state sand share that with your therapist.

Thank-you for this - I have a constant feeling of unrealness and feel disconnected from my children, house, car and my own image in mirrors is pretty unfamiliar - but when with T this thing comes over me, so that I am sort of aware of T, but feel locked in a fog and can't get out of it. But yes I will try and think about the writing and see if I can do that when I am feeling locked out. SD

[kaliope]

soup dragon
i used to have a huge problem with dissociation. even in the dissociative state there was a slight awareness of where my body was at. as i began to feel safer in life, this connection became a bit stronger. i still will dissociate with T but since i feel safe in his office, it is only a feeling of halfway gone. i know he will let me stay gone as long as i need to, so with this awareness, i am able to choose to come back sooner than i normally would because i feel that i am wasting precious time i could be using to work on my issues. i actually wish T would play a role in bringing me back sooner, but he doesnt. he will ask me where i went and tell me that i seemed very peaceful there.

[dinosaurs]

it has been a long process for me to learn to stay more grounded. first i had to learn to be able to recognise that i dissociated. then i had to gradually learn to recognise this closer and closer to when it actually happened. then i had to learn to recognise the signs that i was about to do this (i usually could only recognise them after i'd actually gone away). then it was a matter of learning to see the signs closer and closer to when they actually happened. then when i was finally at the stage of noticing the signs as they happened i could start to learn to do things at that point to help me stay grounded (eg touch something, move a part of my body, somehow let t know, etc). then it took a lot of practice at doing these grounding skills before they actually worked and i stopped disappearing.

an important part of this was me WANTING to stay present. like i thought i wanted it a lot, but when things are scary it really was just a lot easier and safer to disappear. actually making the decision to want to stay was really hard. i would disappear in t lots, so we did a lot of overt work in trying to make it safer in t for me.

fyi it generally doesnt happen to me any more in t because i have now learnt to see the signs very early before they get out of control. although i do still vanish occasionally if things are very scary or if something is happening so i want to get far far away from t. but generally it doesnt happen anymore. it took me several years to learn to stick around though.

[SoupDragon]

Thanks for the posts.

Kaliope: I shall try to explore that choosing thing - it feels like I am locked out, but maybe there is a bit of me that can try to choose to do something different. Do I try to do this by having a chat with myself?

Dinosaurs: The wanting to stay present bit is something I can also explore - I hadn't really thought of that - I guess it is hard to want to stay with something that is difficult - I wonder how I can convince myself that I want to?