Just bummed

Guess nothing is really like bad wrong or something. I just feel kinda down and stuff. Tried to do christmas shopping and just got real down. been down all night. w_i's H is still out of town till tomorrow. Just don't like being alone I guess.
Vicki

I am sorry you are bummed..I am here so you are not alone totally....What kind of Christmas gifts did you get? any?

Had a freakin' panic attack! Had to get out. Then Willow started to come out, right there in the middle of the store. She got all scared and confused and almost started crying. I drove home then w_i was front by the time we got here.
Now I'm front again and feel so stupid for getting freaked out and letting a little get past in the store.
So I didn't get nothin' and neither did w_i. Hate shopping...
Vicki

Aw I am sorry that stinks big time..I have had to rush out of stores and malls ...even the grocery store with a full cart..Its been a while but still I hate it..so I know kind of how you feel. You did the best you could and maybe did the right thing ...I am glad you are home and OK now

Hi Vicki,

I have Panic Disorder, so I know how horrible panic attacks can be. Please don't blame yourself. You can't help it. I can teach you a few coping techniques if you would like. I think with all the confusion, you did a wonderful job.

Hugs,

Jan

But I'm supposed to take care of the littles. Letting them out when it's not safe is a big NO. Deedee slips by and gets lost, now Willow when I'm in a panic. I can't do it right. I'm supposed to make sure this don't happen. They get real mad at me when it happens.
Vicki

Vicki,

Please help me understand. How can you help who slips by when you're having a panic attack? Can you very lovingly but sternly tell them they may not do that when you are in charge, especially when in crisis?

Hugs,
(If it's ok to give them to you.)

Jan

I think it scared Willow.
Sometimes things work ok, but sometimes not.
They aren't supposed to do that and I tell them, but they don't always listen.
I'm not their mother. I'm only 14.
Vicki---hugs are ok, thanks

I'm going to bed. Everyone else inside is sleeping and I think I'm tired 'nough to go to sleep.
Thanks January for talking to me. I'm having brain farts so I don't think I make any sense any more anyway.
Vicki

Vicki, my little ice-dancer...

You do a great job with the littles AND taking care of w_i.

I am proud that you do all that you do to keep everyone in the constellation safe.

(((((((((( Vicki )))))))))))))))

I didn't know you are fourteen. I can honestly tell you that you did a wonderful job. Fourteen is a tough time and you are obviously mature and together. Anytime you want to talk to me, just let me know.

Hugs,

Jan

Hey Vicki,

Sorry this is so late. I hope H got home safe and you are all feeling better.

I know you feel like you some how failed but you did do a good job. Everybody is safe and that is what it is about.

Hugs to you and all.

place

Vicki, you did a great job keeping everyone safe.
I am sorry I didn't reply before.
Thinking of you,
Fuzzy