Hiya all!

I have a question. i wanted to know what grounding techniques you use to prevent switching if you can catch it before it happens? I'm dealing with a very aggressive, angry other that wants to kill us in an attempt to end our pain. She doesn't like it when we get sad, but that's unavoidable with all the trauma work I have to do. Sometimes I can tell she wants out and is trying to get out and sometimes I can avoid it. Like yesterday for instance, if she would have been able to get out I would be dead, it's that simple. Instead I stayed with people, called everybody I could, and then put myself to bed.

How do you all deal with angry others?

Love and hugs,
Tara

P.S. I should mention that we have attempted suicide 7 times, 4 times coming very close. I don't think I will survive another attempt. I'm hoping if it comes to that desperation that I will be able to check myself in before the switch.

[SophiaG]

well the anger is a part of you, no? So maybe you need to deal with the anger. Your self must've put a lot of work into suppressing and not dealling with your past, so it is causing havoc within your system to bring it up again and deal with it. The whole system is designed so you don't have to do that.

Maybe a part of you feels overwhelmed, is angry. Maybe learn some anger management techniques?

Hiya Sophia!

Thanks for replying. I have never thought of her anger as my anger. I dealt with my anger towards those that hurt me a long time ago. Her anger is towards me. I did take an anger management course back in 02 and may still have my notes from that. I'll have to scrounge them up. Time for a refresher maybe.

Love and hugs,
Tara

[Omers]

I am not above drugging myself to sleep until they calm down or we have enough strength to keep them under control. I use a lot of CBT. It sounds like you did all the right things.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by tara_922

Hiya all!

I have a question. i wanted to know what grounding techniques you use to prevent switching if you can catch it before it happens? I'm dealing with a very aggressive, angry other that wants to kill us in an attempt to end our pain. She doesn't like it when we get sad, but that's unavoidable with all the trauma work I have to do. Sometimes I can tell she wants out and is trying to get out and sometimes I can avoid it. Like yesterday for instance, if she would have been able to get out I would be dead, it's that simple. Instead I stayed with people, called everybody I could, and then put myself to bed.

How do you all deal with angry others?

Love and hugs,
Tara

P.S. I should mention that we have attempted suicide 7 times, 4 times coming very close. I don't think I will survive another attempt. I'm hoping if it comes to that desperation that I will be able to check myself in before the switch.

in order for grounding to work it has to be something that calms you, soothes you interests you. example canoeing is something that is calming to me and is an interest of mine so sometimes when I feel like Im not connected to myself I walk down to the lake, unlock my canoe from the dock and paddle on out across, around, the lake. doing this puts me in touch with nature and my body, its amazing what muscles you notice while you are paddling a canoe, noticing the resistance of the water against the paddle, the fish and other lake wildlife, other people out on the lake...

about this part of you that wants to do harm to you.. my suggestion is talk with your treatment provider. they can help you build a treatment safety plan around this issue and alter and can also help you get behind the reason and anger contained with in this alter, they can help this alter to understand where things are at right now for all of you and help you all understand what and where this alter is at..

with my violent alters I required hospitalization during the times this alter was in high swing. what finally ended the problem was my therapist and I working together to uncover all the memories with in this alter and following through with our treatment safety plan. eventually that alter came to realize things are different now and she didnt have to protect me from harm by harming me first before others could harm me. I also had a violent alter that was programed to harm me as punishment for disclosing abuse, that one was a bit harder to work with and figure out because of the programing. again hospitalization was needed for our safety, we had to go extremely slow in the area of trauma work, going too fast would result in harmful situations. but with a safty plan in place and following through with it we were able to get through it. it took many years but we did. and now here we are integrated into one whole person.

talk with your treatment providers they can help you with keeping you all safe and help you discover everything you need to know about that alter and why they keep trying to harm you. the fact that you have co consciousness with her and able to talk with her is fantastic. many people in the same boat with these types of alters dont have that advantage. I sure didnt and many that I know dont.

just keep on going and pass yourself, and keep contact with your treatment providers about her and things will work out ok for you.. it may not seem that way but it will sooner or later.