Depersonalization / derealization? Trying to understand what these are

So I have searched this forum and found the definitions for these two things which seem to affect me in the dissociation faq at http://www.isst-d.org/education/faq-dissociation.htm mentioned in one of the stickies.

I tend to wander around half inside myself, daydreaming or shut down, sometimes checking into what's going on around me, mostly to see if I'm in any danger like of being hit by a car, or if there are dangerous situations developing, or people I should watch out for. I've walked right by people calling my name and not seen them.

Sometimes I have a sense of unreality like I'm walking through a movie and wonder if I actually exist, or I feel like I'm walking through molasses. Everything goes fast, but my body can move only slowly, even though I'm trying to do more. When I look in the mirror that image doesn't look like me, I wonder who that person is looking back, it just seems alien. I feel like my mind and body are separate, or that I'm numb a lot. I also feel intense rollercoastering emotions that I can't seem to control. I don't always know why my moods come and go.

I know I experience a lot of anxiety, am particularly anxious around other people so I partially shut down to mitigate it.

I'm not sure what you do about that though. I'm told that to cope with anxiety you need to keep doing what makes you anxious until the fear goes down, but I don't know how to "reconnect".

I have a friend who notices everything around him. He comments on things he sees: "Did you see that guy? He was talking to himself" I could have been looking right at that guy, but not seen him.

I wonder how people process the outside world so effectively without being overwhelmed. I didn't have any real traumatic experiences in my life, so I don't know how this could be trauma related, which seems to be the focus. So I don't know what's wrong with me.

I do not think anything is wrong with you. I, too, daydream, and I, too have times where someone is trying to get my attention and I do not respond, or even notice. All people do, some, more than others. I am reading a biography now of Wynnona Judd, who claims to be quite the daydreamer as well. For work, I work with children, who are easier for me to pay attention to, due to their sweet nature, their innocence, their true hearts. Anything else, especially details, tend to where on me, things from the adult world, or boring things or details, even household chores. I have many close friends due to support groups, which are conducive to meeting real friends, and church, both places I am comfortable to open up and be 'me,' which is not such a bad thing. I assume you are a pretty good person, yourself What kinds of obstacles are you facing, because of these tendencies? Any? Do share. perhaps i can help you find solutions, or help you realize there are not really many obstacles to face. Write more, i care.....

This technique is called exposure therapy. not all those who have depersonalization like you do can do exposure therapy.

what treatment providers do around here is called "grounding". this is a therapy approach where those with dissociation problems are taught how to pay attention to their feelings. then when they feel their symptoms coming on us "grounding". Grounding is utilizing anything that is calming to you that will put you back in touch with yourself and your surroundings.

some people use strong calming aroma's others use looking around the room and naming what they see, others count, still others use focusing on textured things... the list is endless of what a person can use to help "ground" their self back out of dissociation.

one of my favorite things in grounding is the aroma and texture of apples and cinnamon.

if I remember right there is also a thread on grounding on these boards, and there is a chat group that meets here on psych central about grounding. I dont remember what time and all the details but Im sure someone else here will be able to post that info for you.

Are you meeting with a Therapist? I think it would be most useful in order to help you really answer some of thses questions. Sorry you are struggling as it sounds upsetting to you.

Of course the feedback from others is useful and I understand having a term that describes our experiences can be benificial as well. I have some of the same experiences, am in therapy but don't know a term or label associated with them. It helps to read here and think I fit into X Y or Z catagory but for me my real healing is learing to manage the symptoms and my expierence of them independent of the lable/name It is challenging

I asked my therapist about grounding and they said to try touching things. I tried walking around feeling the cuffs of my sweatshirt, but that didn't do much after a while.

I found a grounding exercise on the forums, it worked for a few minutes before I felt pulled back under again. I'm not sure I want to feel the anxiety or emotions, they tend to be intense. I tend to feel anxious just walking around in public, more so if there are people I have to walk past, even if they seem harmless, I get a spike of fear, and I have to fight myself to not cross the street or turn down another street. I don't want to look them in the eye, though I often force myself to, and if they smile or greet me I try to greet back.

It's always been like this to varying degrees as far back as I Can remember,

Hi Gashly...
I don't know about your professional support team..but I do take some anti-anxiety meds that take away some of the fear so that I can deal with the constant spikes that you refer to. I also use the grounding techniques like AmandaLouise refers to like always keeping two feet on the ground, deep breathing, searching things out with my eyes, sometimes when really stressed in therapy I have permission to touch my T's fingertips to stay grounded and present, sometimes using scents which are huge memory keepers for me, and I use lists a LOT,etc..

Using meditation or mindfulness exercises helps and journaling helps me a lot to get things out and organized so that I understand what's underlying the emotions roiling around. I'm not pro or anti drugs..but they do help me keep things at a level where I personally can deal with my environment for now and get beyond the fear to work on other things too.

I wish you only the best in your healing journey and hope you will continue to reach out to people like Junerain who offered to guide you..

Hugs,
Wysteria Blue

I can totally relate to this. I was diagnosed by a very wise psychiatrist with Depersonalization Disorder because of those very symptoms. Seroquel XR, though strong in the beginning, has been my saving grace. I took it for about 8 months and really haven't needed it since. It was my wonder drug because antidepressants have adverse effects on me. I haven't taken it in almost a year and have been symptom free. Just saying it worked for me - everyone is different.

Hello aries2217,

May I ask you what dosage of Seroquel XR you took for.depersonalization disorder and how long did it take before you noticed any change? I'm asking this.because I am.about to start with Seroquel Xr. So.pleeease reply to me. Thank you in advance

take it slow....

be easy on yourself....

I forget my surroundings when I have to check for cars pulling out or coming and during driving lessons.