Wondering if I'm the only one

I am new here and I was wondering am I the only one who feels like I am every one else other than myself???

I dont know, but welcome to pc. What you describe feeling sounds very disconcerting. You will find a lot of support here. Can you
explain a little bit more what you feel? It might be depersonalization disorder or did.

at first I did not feel this way. I started out having no co consciousness (awareness / connection / knowledge that my alters / parts were there. then through therapy I gained a limited amount of co consciousness with a few of my alters / parts. this gave me the ability to feel or know when the alters / parts were in control / know a bit about what was happening while the alters / parts were in control. I still perceived the alters /parts and I to be separate from each other, so again I didnt get this feeling. Once integration of the alters /parts started happening it did indeed sometimes feel like I was the other alters / parts. But after a while my brain switched how it was thinking and perceiving the integrating of feelings / emotions / actions. this caused us (the alter /parts and I ) to fully feel and perceive that were were now one whole person working together as one.

if you have treatment providers (aka physician, therapist, psychiatrist...) talk with them. they can help you over this hurdle / stressful time you are having. There is also a sticky thread around here about "grounding" and there is also a peer lead chat about "grounding" here on psych central that may help you find ways to reground yourself when feeling like this.

I am looking forward to recieving the support that I have been missing...And Yes I know I have DID....But I still don't like the idea that I do have that...yet at the same time...it explains so much why, I feel so very fragmented and like I am just shattered in peices all over the world...I want to feel as though I am ONE whole person...and not so many I don't even know how many alters I even have I know that I am invloved in therapy and working through the trauma...I was in DBT...and I graduated from that group just recently...so I know what to do other than the maladaptive coping skills that I used to use...I have also been in three different state hospitals four different times...I feel a little better now that I am semi-rehabilitated...so for now I just want a little more understanding of the diagnosis DID...and also to talk with other people who have that same diagnosis...without being judged or labled as crazy...Thank you for your reply...I really appreciate it!!!

I feel a lot like you do about about a number of things. I know I have DID. It fits so well with my experiences and my behavoirs, and reactions to things over the whole course of my life that it's scary. It took a very long time to admit to many of the things I've been experiencing as long as I can remember, to my therapist. I was stunned at the feelings and expirences I shared with so many others on another DID forum. Much of it was to things I had never spoken about to anyone. Ever.
Yet there it was all spelled out, and sometimes even described exactly as I would have described it, if I had ever spoken or written about it.
I went to another psychologist to get a objective diagnosis, from someone I hadn't seen before.
She said I was a text book example of DID. Not poly-fragmented, and she said i have wonderful resources, whatever that means. (the resources thing, not the ploy-fragmentation).
I can't seem to stop trying to get out of it, if you know what I mean.
I don't want this. I don't want to have DID, or anything else for that matter. I have someone who keeps running down lists of reasons it can't be true. makeing arguments about how i'm fakeing the whole thing. That I'm doing it because I want attention, and so no one will rely on me for anything so no one will ask me to do anything and on and on endlessly.
I know that some of my others are not happy because I'm talking about them, and letting my thereapist know what they are saying.
It's supposed to be a secret. no one is supoosed to know. And you don't talk about hearing voices, inside your head or outside of it, because you'll get locked up.
I really want to understand this. How can I have parts working against other parts all inside the same head?. I know i can hear them argue at times. I would be tempted to go along with the one who is trying to convince me I'm making it up if there wasn't so much evedence, hard evendence, I'm not. At this point it's like denying a broken leg.
If i'm faking, where's the pay off? I must be getting something out of it. and the "doing it for attention" argument disintegrates because the last thing I want is attention. For anything, never mind for having mental health issues.
I want it all to be over. I want it to never have happened. I don't want to have to accept the things I have to accept.
oh boy. I went on for a bit there. hope some of it makes some sense.
I think the hardest thing about this is just talking about it.

jax

Jax...OMG...this makes absolutely so much sense to me...I feel the exact same way all of the time...throughout most of the day...i don't know where i am who i am or even who i am supposed to be...this is uncanny that you feel the same way...i think my suggestion is when your other parts do start to argue...tell them directly that you do not have the time for that at the moment...for me that sometimes helps...although most of my parts tend to get rather mouthy with me and they like to talk back...unfortunately I become hostile...and start to yell at them the way they do to me...I really think that what you have metioned about not wanting to admit and accept that you have DID...I have that exact same issue...And i have been in three different state hospitals four different times because of this exact reason...most people just play it off as i am playing games or want attention...that's the last thing i want i feel like i am a game...i feel as though i am being played by some other force that is not me...It really sounds to me like you need some support and honestly i don't know much about this website i just so happened to stumble upon it and i really enjoy it...because it gives me a sense of peace knowing that i am not alone...awkwardly enough...i know that i could give you some pointers on how to handle some of those voices...but what works for me may not work for you...and vice versa...I am really glad that you were able to build up enough courage to share how you feel with me...i really am thankful that you did!!!!! I hope to hear from you soon....just hang in there...take things one step at a time...second by second....oh and just breath in peace and breath out chaos!!!!Breathing for me definitely helps with that feeling!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jax, you are right. To say someone would fabricate having DID for attention is silly. Whoever said that needs THEIR head examined.
There are much easier ways to get attention, and less painful. Sometimes the people around us make our situations much much worse by saying really stupid stupid asinine things. Sorry. But im glad you have a good T.

This is so much of what I am going through. In fact I had to check to see who wrote it. If you don't mind telling me, How long have you known you have DID? I only found a name for it about two years ago. And since than I have felt totally confused about me.

I have one or a few who don't believe it, or want it to be kept secret and this is exactly what I go through. I will go through extreme periods of time where I tell everybody I have schizophrenia and I was just delusional about these other parts. (heck you'll even see the change in my posts on PC), where I don't come near this board and even hide it out of site, because it doesn't concern me. It scares me all the time that that part will take over again and I'll get the wrong treatment because of it. If I even hear that part in my head I fight back with gnashing teeth. I become so convincing that even treatment providers will believe me. I spent two months recently, locked up in a psychiatric ward and I just barely nixed a state ward, because I kept telling doctors I had schizophrenia. If I do have schizophrenia, it's schizoaffective and only certain alters can handle the stress from that and I know nothing of it. But I keep an accurate journal and I have been clearly paranoid previously and had hallucinations. But I also can't decide if the paranoia is just really protective protectors.