Difficulty with therapy

yesterday I saw my therapist. We talked about emails I had sent her. We talked about fragmenting. And other things. But I don't remember the substance of the conversation. I don't remember if I am susposed to be doing something. I don't remember how far we got talking about my dissociating. It is in there but I can't get to it. I know if I go back and read the emails I will remember the bulk of what we talked about. But don't want to do that. I want to remember the content of that session as I am with out being prompted. I was aggitated during the session. I was in a haze toward the end of the session. That is what I know. How am I going to get anything out therapy if I forget it the minute I leave the office. Most times I am satisified that I went and have never made a real effort to remember what on. I emailed my therapist about this last night. I read it this morning and I was all over the place. I emailed her again this morning saying I will keep a journal in my car and write the content of each session right after I leave. I guess my question is does anyone else have similar difficulty? And if so how did you manage it? I know we are different but I am exhausted by this. I makes me feel that I will never move forward.

hi clarity....
I used to never remember sessions, except the overall feel of it.as times gone on i remember more of each session more often. i've been seeing my t for did, ptsd and depression for 8 years. i used to get really embarrassed when she would talk about what we talked about the last session and i had no idea what she was talking about. lately i remember so much more as my co-consciosness has increased. still....sometimes...i feel for you and can identify.i'm sorry i have no method to help perhaps others do....take care...........kasva

I used to lose tons of my sessions. And I asked T exactly what you asked...how is this going to work if I can't remember it? He said it would work. He said part of me was there, and part of me remembers. But it didn't FEEL to me like there was any way it could work.

But over time, as different parts have learned to trust T and told their stories, it HAS got better. I don't lose my sessions like I used to (I still do a little bit, but it's so much better), and I just feel better in my day to day life. I'm able to be more present, I feel less fragmented, I can cope so much better with emotions, I don't have to use bad coping skills.

It will get better. It was a long, slow, GRADUAL process for me, but when I compare me now to me 4 years ago, I can see the change.

You are doing just what you need to do.

I wasn't thinking about it that way. That there was a part of me there and that part or parts know what was said in session. I have been viewing it in a very negative way. Like I am not participating in my therapy. Like I am not trying to get my stuff together. I will give this more thought. Thank you