[shoez]

I DONT think I have DID (I dont want to have did....)but......because I recall everything usually. I remember things...I dont forget everything (even thugh I am forgetfull)
But ...
I do a lot of out fo character things...every now and then and i noticed I switch a lot from a person completely obsessed with schoolwork...
to a little kid..
to a grown woman that wants to get married
to a little kid whos scared of everything
to an angry frustrated teenager...
to a completely religious nut..
to being an atheist.
to what I think is myself.

I think little kid me called my T yesterday, so upset and crying and worrying.....and she told me to come in tomorrow...and I wrote this big huge letter....and then today I woke up..and I feel detached to whoever called her yesterday...it doesnt feel like me...I feel totally competent and functional and not emotionally hurt at the moment...And I cant understand the letter...


Its like....I know they exist, I know they take over here and there, and I cant control it. I dont know if they are alters, I dont know if I have DID...but im afraid of showing my T that I dont feel like myself....I dont feel like the same person that called her...or the same person that went to her office. Im scared she wont believe me..
I know one of them helps me with my work...I know one of them called my T yesterday crying...
Is it possible to know your alters , know you have them somewhre...even if you cant control when they come out?
How do you go about telling your T this? How??? Will they lock me up? will she say im nuts? Will she think im lying?

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by shoez

I DONT think I have DID (I dont want to have did....)but......because I recall everything usually. I remember things...I dont forget everything (even thugh I am forgetfull)
But ...
I do a lot of out fo character things...every now and then and i noticed I switch a lot from a person completely obsessed with schoolwork...
to a little kid..
to a grown woman that wants to get married
to a little kid whos scared of everything
to an angry frustrated teenager...
to a completely religious nut..
to being an atheist.
to what I think is myself.

I think little kid me called my T yesterday, so upset and crying and worrying.....and she told me to come in tomorrow...and I wrote this big huge letter....and then today I woke up..and I feel detached to whoever called her yesterday...it doesnt feel like me...I feel totally competent and functional and not emotionally hurt at the moment...And I cant understand the letter...


Its like....I know they exist, I know they take over here and there, and I cant control it. I dont know if they are alters, I dont know if I have DID...but im afraid of showing my T that I dont feel like myself....I dont feel like the same person that called her...or the same person that went to her office. Im scared she wont believe me..
I know one of them helps me with my work...I know one of them called my T yesterday crying...
Is it possible to know your alters , know you have them somewhre...even if you cant control when they come out?
How do you go about telling your T this? How??? Will they lock me up? will she say im nuts? Will she think im lying?

I had a very similar experience. From the time I was very young I had parts of me that would step forward when needed. I had a myriad of what seemed liked unending thoughts and cross talk in my head for decades. I thought everyone experienced the same thing. But as I have gotten older my ability to keep everyone organized is deteriorating. I switch all the time. I forget people, things I have done, I lose track of time. It is now effecting my work and my friendships. No one knows. They just think I am losing it. I did get better when I started taking an antidepresent and anxiety medication. It slowed down my thoughts and enabled me to hear what was being said. So what I used to think was a single stream of conflicting thoughts in now seperate thoughts by separate alters. I don.t hear a voice. I just have thoughts on what is going on in my life. I found that sharing my concerns and self insights with my t has been very important. It has helped me to understand that I am not going nuts. But I also need to work with my alters and my t to have everyone work together, I think it would help you to talk with our t. I hope everything works out.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by shoez

I DONT think I have DID (I dont want to have did....)but......because I recall everything usually. I remember things...I dont forget everything (even thugh I am forgetfull)
But ...
I do a lot of out fo character things...every now and then and i noticed I switch a lot from a person completely obsessed with schoolwork...
to a little kid..
to a grown woman that wants to get married
to a little kid whos scared of everything
to an angry frustrated teenager...
to a completely religious nut..
to being an atheist.
to what I think is myself.

I think little kid me called my T yesterday, so upset and crying and worrying.....and she told me to come in tomorrow...and I wrote this big huge letter....and then today I woke up..and I feel detached to whoever called her yesterday...it doesnt feel like me...I feel totally competent and functional and not emotionally hurt at the moment...And I cant understand the letter...


Its like....I know they exist, I know they take over here and there, and I cant control it. I dont know if they are alters, I dont know if I have DID...but im afraid of showing my T that I dont feel like myself....I dont feel like the same person that called her...or the same person that went to her office. Im scared she wont believe me..
I know one of them helps me with my work...I know one of them called my T yesterday crying...
Is it possible to know your alters , know you have them somewhre...even if you cant control when they come out?
How do you go about telling your T this? How??? Will they lock me up? will she say im nuts? Will she think im lying?

if you lived here in NY....

Yes its possible to know your alters /parts/.... even if you cant control when you switch.

No you would not be locked up,

No you would not be called nuts

No treatment providers here do not think their clients are lying when they talk about their parts.

here where I live and work (NY USA) it is believed everyone has parts of their self that they switch into every day for many reasons. some of those reasons is due too mental disorder and some of those reasons is that its completely normal.

On a normal basis people react to their life, their self, their environment, and what is going on in the moment. Those reactions can sometimes be switching from one mood / role / parts of self to another. Sometimes these normal switches are perceived as "it wasnt me" type feelings to the moods/ roles/parts.

yesterday I was having a particularly stressful day and I suddenly felt like a little child wanting to throw a temper tantrum. On Sunday I went to a church service with a friend. I soon found myself feeling very meek, quiet.. At a family get together a few weeks ago I found myself to be feeling excited, anxious, proud, and acting one way with one relative and another way with another relative, when with my mother I felt like i was a child honoring my mothers authority, with my cousin I felt like I was a teen ager again and with an aunt I felt like an equal..

I dont have alternate personalities per se anymore because my alters were all integrated. but let me tell you after that family get together I called my therapist because I fears something was happening.. she told me "congratulations you are reacting like a normal person does. people normally do switch moods/roles/ parts like this every single day of their lives." boy was I relieved.

how to tell your T about your parts.... I didnt have that problem because it was through diagnostic testing that led to a psychiatrist telling me I had alternate personalities.

but I know some people who bring up the subject in therapy by asking their therapists if they could explain to them what the child within theory is. (This theory / concept is that every one has mood /role /parts switching that is childlike and is a normal reaction to their environment, life,...

this concept is in just about if not all books on PTSD, other mental disorders, college text books, autobiographies, mental health work books,....so its not an out of the ordinary topic of conversation in therapy.

then while discussing the child with in theory/ concept they talk about their own moods/ roles/ parts switching.

another way some people I know bring up the subject is by asking for diagnostic testing. mood/role/parts switching can be detected during psychiatric evaluations here in America because treatment providers are now aware of dissociation and dissociative disorders. they let the diagnostic report tell their therapists the parts are there.

Another way some people tell their therapists they have mood/role/part switching is by using feeling words... I felt like a child when.. I feel like a wild teen ager sometimes... I feel like.. which is another completely normal way to discuss things in therapy.

everyone has their own ways they tell their therapists things.. some people write it out, others say it during therapy, some call in during a time when they know their therapist wont be answering the phone, some people send their therapists emails...

just take your time and a way that is most comfortable for you will come to you.

[shoez]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

if you lived here in NY....

Yes its possible to know your alters /parts/.... even if you cant control when you switch.

No you would not be locked up,

No you would not be called nuts

No treatment providers here do not think their clients are lying when they talk about their parts.

here where I live and work (NY USA) it is believed everyone has parts of their self that they switch into every day for many reasons. some of those reasons is due too mental disorder and some of those reasons is that its completely normal.

On a normal basis people react to their life, their self, their environment, and what is going on in the moment. Those reactions can sometimes be switching from one mood / role / parts of self to another. Sometimes these normal switches are perceived as "it wasnt me" type feelings to the moods/ roles/parts.

yesterday I was having a particularly stressful day and I suddenly felt like a little child wanting to throw a temper tantrum. On Sunday I went to a church service with a friend. I soon found myself feeling very meek, quiet.. At a family get together a few weeks ago I found myself to be feeling excited, anxious, proud, and acting one way with one relative and another way with another relative, when with my mother I felt like i was a child honoring my mothers authority, with my cousin I felt like I was a teen ager again and with an aunt I felt like an equal..

I dont have alternate personalities per se anymore because my alters were all integrated. but let me tell you after that family get together I called my therapist because I fears something was happening.. she told me "congratulations you are reacting like a normal person does. people normally do switch moods/roles/ parts like this every single day of their lives." boy was I relieved.

how to tell your T about your parts.... I didnt have that problem because it was through diagnostic testing that led to a psychiatrist telling me I had alternate personalities.

but I know some people who bring up the subject in therapy by asking their therapists if they could explain to them what the child within theory is. (This theory / concept is that every one has mood /role /parts switching that is childlike and is a normal reaction to their environment, life,...

this concept is in just about if not all books on PTSD, other mental disorders, college text books, autobiographies, mental health work books,....so its not an out of the ordinary topic of conversation in therapy.

then while discussing the child with in theory/ concept they talk about their own moods/ roles/ parts switching.

another way some people I know bring up the subject is by asking for diagnostic testing. mood/role/parts switching can be detected during psychiatric evaluations here in America because treatment providers are now aware of dissociation and dissociative disorders. they let the diagnostic report tell their therapists the parts are there.

Another way some people tell their therapists they have mood/role/part switching is by using feeling words... I felt like a child when.. I feel like a wild teen ager sometimes... I feel like.. which is another completely normal way to discuss things in therapy.

everyone has their own ways they tell their therapists things.. some people write it out, others say it during therapy, some call in during a time when they know their therapist wont be answering the phone, some people send their therapists emails...

just take your time and a way that is most comfortable for you will come to you.

wow thank u so much amanda and clarity...ur responses helped me sort thigns out so much!. SO grateful u took the time to write out those replies...to help me figure this out Thank u so so so much.
I was able to tell my T a little bit...
I guess the reason it bothers me so much, is because sometimes I will be stuck a certain way...for months/up to a year...
and ill make different friends, do things that are out of character for (me) and then suddenly ill wake up one morning..and cannot connect to everything I have been doing for months/days/hours/ what have u....
Ur advice helped! I wrote everything down...and I read it before I went to T. And I was able to get a bit of what im feeling out today...
and it felt so good

thank u so much u guys!

[blossommayflower27]

Originally Posted by shoez

I DONT think I have DID (I dont want to have did....)but......because I recall everything usually. I remember things...I dont forget everything (even thugh I am forgetfull)
But ...
I do a lot of out fo character things...every now and then and i noticed I switch a lot from a person completely obsessed with schoolwork...
to a little kid..
to a grown woman that wants to get married
to a little kid whos scared of everything
to an angry frustrated teenager...
to a completely religious nut..
to being an atheist.
to what I think is myself.

I think little kid me called my T yesterday, so upset and crying and worrying.....and she told me to come in tomorrow...and I wrote this big huge letter....and then today I woke up..and I feel detached to whoever called her yesterday...it doesnt feel like me...I feel totally competent and functional and not emotionally hurt at the moment...And I cant understand the letter...


Its like....I know they exist, I know they take over here and there, and I cant control it. I dont know if they are alters, I dont know if I have DID...but im afraid of showing my T that I dont feel like myself....I dont feel like the same person that called her...or the same person that went to her office. Im scared she wont believe me..
I know one of them helps me with my work...I know one of them called my T yesterday crying...
Is it possible to know your alters , know you have them somewhre...even if you cant control when they come out?
How do you go about telling your T this? How??? Will they lock me up? will she say im nuts? Will she think im lying?

(((*HUGS*))) to you
We(all of me)totally understand that feeling...thank goodness for the T that i do have at this moment...i really do not think that you are nuts or lying...this is a totally legitament feeling and you have every right to feel the way you do...and also...i understand completely about the switching and not being in control over who comes out and when they decide to come out...because its like mine have a mind of their own...which most of my parts do...i have a lot of teenage parts...and they are extremely willful...anywhoo...i am sorta like you in regards to that statement you made that you dont want to have DID...well i have a very hard time admitting to myself that one of my diagnoses is DID...and i am sometimes aware of who comes out...and who wants to come out and sometimes i choose not to let some of them come out...because some of mine are not nice...and thats putting it mildly...but i just want to let you know that We(all of me)understand this feeling and what all is going on...it is very scary we know...but...just believe in yourself...and things will hopefully get a little clearer...so more (((*HUGS*)))for you...and we hope that this finds you doing well...

[mokie]

I hate to butt in. I have a concern for myself. I too feel that I have others with in me that share a space in my mind and at times take over me. Like I know there is a child, a teen boy, a seductive adult, and a manipulator. Then there is on that sort of holds all there thoughts or can control all of them. I have seen myself in the mirror and look like the child, seductive and manipulator. Have acted them out too but like they take over my actions, voice, thoughts, and what not. is this what DID would be like?

[shoez]

Originally Posted by mokie

I hate to butt in. I have a concern for myself. I too feel that I have others with in me that share a space in my mind and at times take over me. Like I know there is a child, a teen boy, a seductive adult, and a manipulator. Then there is on that sort of holds all there thoughts or can control all of them. I have seen myself in the mirror and look like the child, seductive and manipulator. Have acted them out too but like they take over my actions, voice, thoughts, and what not. is this what DID would be like?

I have a seductive adult too..I feel the same..although the mirror thing doesnt happen tome...i literally feel shorter and smaller and younger when im a child..
I have a seductive adult..but she never gets far.....because then the scared child always gets in before anything...
sending hugs and hoping that we find anwers buddy

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by mokie

I hate to butt in. I have a concern for myself. I too feel that I have others with in me that share a space in my mind and at times take over me. Like I know there is a child, a teen boy, a seductive adult, and a manipulator. Then there is on that sort of holds all there thoughts or can control all of them. I have seen myself in the mirror and look like the child, seductive and manipulator. Have acted them out too but like they take over my actions, voice, thoughts, and what not. is this what DID would be like?

Sometimes yes sometimes no -

for some people having parts like this is DID and for others it isnt called DID.

for some its called DDNOS (dissociative Disorders Not Otherwise Specified)
it can also be called mood swings with Bipolar disorder, PTSD, Schizophrenia, and other mental and physical disorders/diseases, hallucinations, delusions, psychosis, ....

or it could be completely normal.

everyone has their own internal system and only you and a treatment provider can tell you what your internal system is called and how it is set up.

if you think you have DID contact your treatment providers. they can diagnose you and then you and your treatment providers can discover whether your internal system is DID like or not.

for me yes it was sometimes like this, other times not like this.

[mokie]

Therapist told me I have DIDNOS.

Is this something that happens daily or can it happen every once in awhile?

Originally Posted by amandalouise

Sometimes yes sometimes no -

for some people having parts like this is DID and for others it isnt called DID.

for some its called DDNOS (dissociative Disorders Not Otherwise Specified)
it can also be called mood swings with Bipolar disorder, PTSD, Schizophrenia, and other mental and physical disorders/diseases, hallucinations, delusions, psychosis, ....

or it could be completely normal.

everyone has their own internal system and only you and a treatment provider can tell you what your internal system is called and how it is set up.

if you think you have DID contact your treatment providers. they can diagnose you and then you and your treatment providers can discover whether your internal system is DID like or not.

for me yes it was sometimes like this, other times not like this.

[shoez]

Originally Posted by mokie

Therapist told me I have DIDNOS.

Is this something that happens daily or can it happen every once in awhile?

can happen daily, can happen various times in a day..
sometimes it can delay up to months in happening. It feels random.

[shoez]

nvm.

sigh.....

Im struggling with this so much eery day. ...and i feel like I get to T...and I just cant tell her. shame. shame shame.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by mokie

Therapist told me I have DIDNOS.

Is this something that happens daily or can it happen every once in awhile?

here in New York (USA) there is no DIDNOS and I could not find it in my PDR (physicians Desk Referene, and Could not find it in the DSM IV TR (the present manual that the treatment providers in the USA use for diagnosing mental disorders, I also could not find it in the proposed mental disorders for the soon to be DSM 5 which will be coming out in the near future...

you might want to consult your treatment providers so that they can clarify for you what your diagnosis is and why they diagnosed you that way.

that said - your question -

what its called in each person depends upon each persons symptoms and reasons/ causes for the switching.

example

this kind of switching can be called schizophrenia if the switching is due to hallucinations and delusional thoughts, delusional beliefs.

in another person the cause may be due to their being in what is called Mania, in which case its called bipolar disorder.

each person has their own ways in which mental disorders affect them, what symptoms they may be having, underlying causes...

mental health treatment providers take many different things into account when diagnosing mental disorders.

There is more to having DID than having switches into alternate personalities.

can the person (host/core) be switching daily/every once in a while.. it doesnt work that way..

DID is a disorder that you have since before you are 5 yrs old and the switching depends upon many things such as times when you are emotional, triggered, angry, happy, sad... and it happens all through your childhood and into adulthood until you are in treatment where you can learn how to control it. otherwise its uncontrollable and unpredictable. with DID theres no such thing as "ok today Im going to switch into an alter, tomorrow I wont" and it doesnt work like "today Im only going to switch into an alter once, or twice"

its something that happens to you not something you can predict or plan. and it doesnt just happen once in a while. the DID people I know switch many many times with in an hour let alone many times a day depending upon what their triggers are.

to give you an idea of what its like the diagnostic criteria for DID is that you must have at least two alternate personalities that you switch into many times.

in order to get diagnosed one of the tests is sitting in a room with a psychiatrist talking for an hour. during that hour the psychiatrist must witness, talk to at least two alternate personalities and they must fit the diagnostic criteria, which means you have to be switching many times into the same two alters over and over again. while you are doing this the psychiatrist is marking down what he learns about these two alters to see if they are the kind that meets the diagnostic criteria.

to meet the diagnostics theres no such thing as only switching daily or only switching every once in a while. the disorder just doesnt work that predictable, concise way.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

I would support you seeing your T. They have the ability to know the differences between us. I even have to come here to see if any of my alters have been busy because I don't remember much. Each person may be different though...

Best wishes

[shoez]

I wish I could control it. I just switch and my whole taste In music clothes beliefs cxhange and I usually notice it after I've acted out on it...I don't knoiwif T notices this, but this way of living is so hard for me. Nobody understands . Idk anymore

[shoez]

sorry for saying nobody understands....U guys did understand!....I dont know I was mad last night ...more at myself...

sorry -_-