[Roseheart101]

About two months after I began therapy (again) with my new T I was diagnosed with melanoma. It hadn't spread anywhere, so that was good. They had to remove it though so it wouldn't spread anywhere. It left a large area on the tip of my nose with no skin. To close the wound, they moved some skin over from my cheek and trimmed and tucked and stitched it all together again. When I first looked in the mirror, I nearly died. I thought Frankenstein had a better looking face. Actually if his skin wasn't green, his nose looked better than mine. It has been healing and looks much better but I don't think it will ever look good or even halfway decent.

At the same time (2 days later) my boyfriend broke up with me the second time. (The first time was when we found out that I do have DID, but we got back together after that). I knew he was going to leave the first time he looked at me after the surgery. Of course, he was kind enough not to be cognizant of the fact that it was probably related to my face. He made up an excuse like I wasn't very loving (my nose was still covered with bandages and oozing, to say nothing of the discomfort). I took the breakup in stride and figured it would have come to that anyway. But I realize he is probably the last boyfriend I will ever have because of the way I now look.

I am so trying to come to terms with who I am and how many I am and what I should do about it, and now . . . I don't even look the same. This is a little funny because I never did recognize myself in the mirror before. And now I still don't.

It all just makes me feel so depressed so often. I don't even know if this is the forum to discuss it. I don't think most of my alters even get it either. I am so sad. I keep posting to the online dating things and then dumping my profile. Why do I keep doing that? It is so hopeless.

Thanks for letting me share this.

[GypsyRosalie]

this may sound cliche' to say but not everybody cares about looks. i know someone that was horribly disfigured through no fault of her own and she found someone. that person didnt care that she wasnt the pretty her she used to be. she has bipolar I so she had a mental problem too. and i know you probably think im just trying to make you feel better but i do want you to know it doesnt matter what you look like or what problem you're facing mentally, if a person is right for you, they will see the inner beauty of you and all your alters! good luck
Rosalie

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Roseheart101

About two months after I began therapy (again) with my new T I was diagnosed with melanoma. It hadn't spread anywhere, so that was good. They had to remove it though so it wouldn't spread anywhere. It left a large area on the tip of my nose with no skin. To close the wound, they moved some skin over from my cheek and trimmed and tucked and stitched it all together again. When I first looked in the mirror, I nearly died. I thought Frankenstein had a better looking face. Actually if his skin wasn't green, his nose looked better than mine. It has been healing and looks much better but I don't think it will ever look good or even halfway decent.

At the same time (2 days later) my boyfriend broke up with me the second time. (The first time was when we found out that I do have DID, but we got back together after that). I knew he was going to leave the first time he looked at me after the surgery. Of course, he was kind enough not to be cognizant of the fact that it was probably related to my face. He made up an excuse like I wasn't very loving (my nose was still covered with bandages and oozing, to say nothing of the discomfort). I took the breakup in stride and figured it would have come to that anyway. But I realize he is probably the last boyfriend I will ever have because of the way I now look.

I am so trying to come to terms with who I am and how many I am and what I should do about it, and now . . . I don't even look the same. This is a little funny because I never did recognize myself in the mirror before. And now I still don't.

It all just makes me feel so depressed so often. I don't even know if this is the forum to discuss it. I don't think most of my alters even get it either. I am so sad. I keep posting to the online dating things and then dumping my profile. Why do I keep doing that? It is so hopeless.

Thanks for letting me share this.

Originally Posted by Roseheart101

I took the breakup in stride and figured it would have come to that anyway. But I realize he is probably the last boyfriend I will ever have because of the way I now look.

I know it feels this way right now but later you might want to try and keep an open mind.. you will be surprised at how many people in this world are kind, considerate and care more for other things than for how a person looks. I know someone that was disfigured because they were in a work related fire. thier husband left them and not too long ago I attended her wedding to a wonderful man who cares more because she is a nice, kind, considerate, fun loving person. he doesnt care that her body is 95% scared and graphed together, including her face, and that she is bald, no eyelashes, and skin from the sole of her foot is what she has for lips.

there are all kinds of people out there. if some of those jerks dont want you then its their loss, and your gain, dont settle for people that care just for your looks. anyone can look like a super model just by getting tummy tucks, plastic surgery and fake boobs, but it takes something special to be a good person underneath the skin.

[Roseheart101]

Thank you so much. You don't sound at all cliche' to me. And you are making me feel better and I appreciate it so much. I appreciate knowing about your friend too. It gives me a bit of courage that I hope will grow. Take good care of yourself.

[anderson]

listening and caring,

please give yourself time to heal,

[Roseheart101]

Dear AmandaLouise, GypsieRosalie, anderson, and of course, all the sweet hugs peoples,

Thank you sooo very much. I feel so much much better. The red nose is still painful but my heart is feelin so much better.

Best of the day to you!!

[likewater]

((((Roseheart)))) couple of things. One i'd like to present your ex boyfriend with a jerk of the year award. Two, your nose will look
better the longer it heals. My friend at work had the exact same removal on her nose. It takes time to , if it doesnt heal and for the scar to fade. Also , if you still arent satisfied you can have the dr do a little touch up plastic surgery or even know special make- up can fix it. No big deal. I know it feels like one. I had a lumpectomy and one boob is different than the other. I was sooo horrified, at
first. Now i'm just happy to be alive. May angels surround you. May you heal and find nicer guys. Peace and hugs.

[Roseheart101]

Oh Likewater,

Thank you so much! It makes such a difference to have your kindness and support. It is easy to forget that people care sometimes, so it makes a big difference when you take the time to tell me about your friend and yourself. I am going to keep my eyes open so I can see the angels. I'm happy you are alive too. I am sending hugs and smiles to you.

[likewater]

Roseheart, i just thought of something, too. You probably won't need plastic surgery. Most surgeons are very good and it sounds like they did the cosmetic touches when they did the removal. It will just take time to see results. On my boob , i didnt realize until healed how meticulous she was in the stitching etc. She really hid the scar. I was freaked at first but now you can see very little
difference. What happened with me is they removed precancer under the nipple.

Anyway, surgeons are VERY arrogant. They wouldnt want you looking like frankenstein going all over town saying , " Dr so and so did this to my nose. So they do a good job. For you and them. I bet when it heals, you are going to look just fine. :-)

[Roseheart101]

Originally Posted by likewater

Roseheart, i just thought of something, too. You probably won't need plastic surgery. Most surgeons are very good and it sounds like they did the cosmetic touches when they did the removal. It will just take time to see results. On my boob , i didnt realize until healed how meticulous she was in the stitching etc. She really hid the scar. I was freaked at first but now you can see very little
difference. What happened with me is they removed precancer under the nipple.

Anyway, surgeons are VERY arrogant. They wouldnt want you looking like frankenstein going all over town saying , " Dr so and so did this to my nose. So they do a good job. For you and them. I bet when it heals, you are going to look just fine. :-)

I think you are right. Good thinking. I never thought of it that way. But he did hide the scars in the fold lines, one in the fold of my cheek as it meets my nose, one on the side where there is kind of a line anyway, one very straight across the top of my nose and another one that runs up my nose. It must have been so difficult. Thanks so much! ((hugs))