Possible

I was diagnossed as schizoaffective and have been living under that for the better part of five years. My big concearns stated a year ago when I started having urges to be female, body was wrong, guys became attractive, clothes were all wrong, wife became unappealing. It became really stressful and like always I expected it to go away, only it got worse. So I started doing some research into MPD/DID. I fit some of the criterea but not all of it, I don't lose time, I rember it wrong, but I never lost it, my timeline just never lined up with the events other people rembered. I have fought with myself for years, and even through the halucinations I seperated them into different categories, inside and outside. Inside voices have always been real to me, the outside voices were halucinations. So on some advice from some people I acknowledged the inside voices, when I did my halucination vanished (except the inside voices), my paranoia went away, my delusional thinking vanished. I spent some time dealing with them, then I got a psychologist to take me on and we started working on things. Relaxation techniqiues blew into fits of rage, any questions relating to before I was eight were answered with "off limits". The more we tried to dig the more fight we got into. The kicker is about 6 months ago they just stopped, there are NO voices. Even the big one that I relied on for questions stopped talking. Everything has been silent. So I have to wonder if it was just another delusion. I started helping with some odd jobs and the stress of that started building, even basic day to day interactions seem to build into an explosion. Last week I had some time skips, brief ones, but I lost time, I never lose time, I always have some memory of things, I never go from A to D I always have A B C D, one of the main reasons I said it couldn't be DID. So now I am just looking for other peoples ideas.

Gaberiel - we can give you all kinds of ideas.. theres thousands of people here on psych central from places all around the world, with all kinds of different mental disorders and treatment providers that believe and call mental disorders and symptoms different things, one person may say yes sounds like MPD/DID another may say sounds like bipolar, another may say sleep deprivation, another may say eating a poor diet......me I have a whole list of things my doctors have called my dissociative symptoms according to other accompanying symptoms...if you google your symptoms there are thousands and thousands of ideas, and diagnosis's these things can be.

the sum of all this is that only your treatment providers can say what this is inside you.

in your post you said you have been diagnosed Schizoaffective. everything you have posted fits within that diagnosis.

my suggestion is talk with your treatment providers, they will tell you why they diagnosed you schizoaffective and how these symptoms you are having fits in with why they diagnosed you that way..

something you may not know many dissociative symptoms are found within many other mental disorders, including identity issues, mood switches, and everything else you posted..

my point is trying to self diagnose by reading up on MPD/DID is not going to get you what you are looking for. all its going to do is totally confuse you and then possibly cause you so much physical and mental harm..

example I know someone who had a few different mental disorders. this person read up on MPD/DID and took the advice this person found online in a group similar to Psych Central, instead of consulting with their doctors. turned out they had cancer. by the time they consulted with their doctor it was too late.

please dont put yourself though all this unnecessary stress and possible harm. talk with your treatment providers.

Thanks. I acctually have two docs, pdoc and tdoc and it is still very confusing.

Quite possibly I am making a mountain out of a mole hill and looking for things I shouldn't.