What an "alter" did...I feel sick

I found an e mail I hadn't read, from my T tonight. I thought I missed something so I read it. It was in response to something one inside wrote to him. I am beyond embarrassed.
This one inside is a flirt and very outspoken. She asked T a question that was not supposed to ever be asked. He was wonderful and kind about it and kind of complimentary. I don't want to face him again. I'm not sure what to do. This has never happened so blatently before.

I understand how hard that is!!! I feel for you. Sometimes I get replies from my T to messages that some of the inside kids sent her (that I didn't know about), and WOW I am embarassed or ashamed!! But really, its nothing to beat yourself up for--sounds like your T is understanding, and handled it well-- so that's good.
Yesterday I found out that one of the really young inside kids who cannot write sends TEXTS to my T-- just strings of letters (She knows C,O,J, and A--thats it)-- T thinks its funny.... I think its crazy!

Sarahmichelle, that is precious. I would looove those texts. Calista +12, i understand , one of my alters flirts with a coworker of mine.
she is a flamboyant lesbian ( the coworker) and thinks it is hilarious. But i'm still embarrassed. She'll just say things like, "oh, you like boys today. "

Calista,

we all have parts that we wish did not do what they do,
I am sure your T knows this part well and just maybe knows more of what that part is going through.

It could be she feels safe with him or just testing the waters so to speak.
the fact that he is able to deal with them one on one means alot.

listening and caring!

Calista you just explained my whole life before integration, in your two paragraphs...my internal system was on where I had no control over what my alters did or didnt do. all my life they would just take over and live their lives doing their purposes/jobs because thats what they were there for...to take care of those things I could not handle...example take care of things/events/issues that triggered/embarrassed/caused me anguish or other triggering feelings...I now remember this one time I was in elementary -Jr high school and I had gotten close to one of the people that worked in the kitchen at the school. boy was I shocked to realize I was sitting in the principles office for "propositioning that hunk", or find myself on the school bus and everyone staring at me because I told someone that was picking on me what to do with their self.

I have made many comments and questions to my therapist.. some of which were downright embarrassing to me..

one day when someone asked her what orientation she was was and would she consider.... and I was embarrassed my therapist told me...

if you cant tell/ask me your therapist these things then who can you tell/ask? there are no limits of discussion in this room /with me. heck heres my phone number (work phone and work message) any more questions feel free to ask. with me and in this room we are going to be talking about things that elicit all kinds of emotions and all kinds of topics including those of the intimate nature. then she answered the questions that were asked of her.

for most people me included, that I know having DID is a whole life time of these embarrassing times/events....

(((Calista+))))))) aww that has happened to us.

Your not alone in this, I have found that writing and emailing is easier to say some thing, no, a lot of things.

Great to see ya Hugs, Crew