[minefield]

I have been diagnosed with PTSD which i think is more like CPTSD because I seem to dissociate a lot, and the more I read your threads the more I am convinced this is what is happening to me. I get so lost and confused the mental health workers keep referring to flashbacks and panic attacks and this is what is wrong.

I was in hospital last week because of an OD, I suffer really bad with night terrors so they gave me Diazapam. I woke about 4 am after a dream and went for a fag. Something happened in this time, aparently 3 hours went passed but as far as I was concerned I had just popped out for a couple of fags.

Then the next night the same thing happened and I went for a fag and and remember making my way back and I was drowsy but I didn't make it back to the ward. I suddenly realised that i was being dragged down a coridor with security behind me and on one arm and with an angry female doctor shouting at me because i knew my name?? I just said 'i do but this does not make sense'. Tightly grabbing my arm opened a door to a room and threw me in and walked off when I tried to escape and get back to my ward they had locked me in. They worked out who I was and security escorted me back to the ward I realised they had sent me to the mental ward, freaking they gave me a brew and another diazapam and i slept.
The next morning I tried to work out what happened but all i could find out was that they didn't believe I was a patient.

Do you have problems with nurses and doctors who don't realise that you know no idea what is going on and they just think you are being stupid and annoying, mb seeking attention. I don't know but I have a number of stories where things have happened that I can't explain and the health staff are angry at me. How do you deal with this or overcome this?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by minefield

I have been diagnosed with PTSD which i think is more like CPTSD because I seem to dissociate a lot, and the more I read your threads the more I am convinced this is what is happening to me. I get so lost and confused the mental health workers keep referring to flashbacks and panic attacks and this is what is wrong.

I was in hospital last week because of an OD, I suffer really bad with night terrors so they gave me Diazapam. I woke about 4 am after a dream and went for a fag. Something happened in this time, aparently 3 hours went passed but as far as I was concerned I had just popped out for a couple of fags.

Then the next night the same thing happened and I went for a fag and and remember making my way back and I was drowsy but I didn't make it back to the ward. I suddenly realised that i was being dragged down a coridor with security behind me and on one arm and with an angry female doctor shouting at me because i knew my name?? I just said 'i do but this does not make sense'. Tightly grabbing my arm opened a door to a room and threw me in and walked off when I tried to escape and get back to my ward they had locked me in. They worked out who I was and security escorted me back to the ward I realised they had sent me to the mental ward, freaking they gave me a brew and another diazapam and i slept.
The next morning I tried to work out what happened but all i could find out was that they didn't believe I was a patient.

Do you have problems with nurses and doctors who don't realise that you know no idea what is going on and they just think you are being stupid and annoying, mb seeking attention. I don't know but I have a number of stories where things have happened that I can't explain and the health staff are angry at me. How do you deal with this or overcome this?

question whats a "fag" where you are?

its clear to me that your not talking the same language /wording we use here in NY because here a "fag" is slang for lesbians and gays which doesnt fit in with the context of your post, so out of curiosity and to make sure I'm reading your post right could you please tell me what that is where you are?

the same thing with your word "brew" here in NY a brew is beer, an alcoholic beverage you buy in a store or a bar. and here in NY the treatment providers (doctors) never mix alcoholic beverages with medications because it causes things like bad reactions, death and other problems..

yes theres treatment providers in the USA that dont realize when someone has a dissociative disorder. I dealt with many of these before I was tested and diagnosed with dissociative disorders....

sometimes some of my forgetfulness/not knowing what was going on was because of medication reactions..

maybe you can talk with your treatment providers about what happened and they can help you discover what the problem was that caused this, and then make a note on your medical/mental health files so that this kind of thing doesnt happen again for you.

[Gr3tta]

people with all kinds of disorders sometimes experience dissociation. medical workers would ideally be understanding of this, but it doesn't always happen. sometimes if you see the same nurses and orderlies over and over you can explain the trouble to them while you're feeling well. i try to be understanding that it difficult for them too - not that this is an excuse for abusive or neglectful behavior. unfortunately, sometimes they are put in a position of doing things we don't like to keep ourselves or others safe. if you feel they behaved inappropriately, please report them to your doctor, or to the supervising nurse.

[minefield]

lol sorry about the slang I will try to think about that when I post again so thank you for pointing the difference out to me appreciate that. Always tickles me how we speak the same language but its totally different.

A fag is a cigarette also a gay but in this case I meant a cig tee hee and a brew is a cup of tea no alcohol lol... :-)

I am from the UK. I am welsh:-) I don't know why but people from abroad always think we are all English but we are British as a whole or Welsh, Scottish, Irish or English... sorry rant not at you but I never understood why the whole world think the British are all English.

I have tried to complain before because I am always mistreated because of this, I have walked out of the hospital with a black eye because they did not realise I was having a flash back, I never really found out what happened but I can only guess they thought I was being violent i don't remember anything but I don't see how else this could have happened.

A group of nurses ganged up on me once, refused to let me shower because I could not stand (I was in for a week)I was in hospital with a slipped disk injury then but again I cannot really remember what happened that lead to this gang up or why they thought I was weird. 3 of them came on the ward and asked me why are you so weird I said I had PTSD but they carried on that I was strange, a freak. The night before a nurse refused to help me up when I fell using a zimmer frame and so I was not comfortable trusting this nurse the next night and asked for a wheel chair but they refused to take me to the toilet even though I was on my period. I told them that I did not feel safe I could feel myself loosing grip and becoming overwhelmed. They told me not to be stupid.... I don't know what happened next the next... thing I knew I was on the floor in the corridor crying my eyes out with the mental health team.

The following morning another patient on the ward discharged herself in discust of their treatment of me.

The problem I have is how can i complain when I have no idea what happened.... I would love to know how other people overcome this problem because I cannot work this out, I need their help but they treat me like a pain on their time and resources. I tried to get my records off my GP to see if it explained what happens during these black outs that make the nurses treat me so badly but they held it all back from me. I have sneaked my records before whilst transfering wards and I know they go into detail but they are keeping these from me... why???

There is one ward in my local hospital that know me well and they are brill infact better than brill they really understand and have seen me since the beginning and they know that I am ill not messing them around so they treat me well and understand my condition and look after me so that when I leave hospital I do feel better but A&E is a lottery as to what treatment and wards that don't know me don't understand, I try to explain but it does not help they just think I am attention seeking I am sure.

How can I get the message across that I really have no control, that I don't even know what happens that I am not seeking anything from them that no other patient in the hospital wants no more no less.

There must be someone else who has experienced this.... how should I handle this?? or how have you experienced problems that people do not understand.

It is not med related because all of my meds have been stopped because i am high risk and it is still happening watching the olympics has been driving me potty (Crazy) as I start watching a game but never catch the end. Things in the flat have been moved, I am sometimes not even in my falt anymore. I will me shattered and look like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards but I have no idea what happened. To be honest it is scaring the crap out of me... I go to hospital for help but they treat me like a freak.

Any and all advise please!!!!

[pegasus]

Hello minefield, I'm from the UK. Unfortunately mental health conditions are not recognised so much in a primary care situation or a physical hospital such as A&E. They just aren't trained in mental health to the level they should be. Please complain to PALS about your treatment at these services. You also need to get your GP to refer you to a clinical Psychologist regarding these back outs that you have. Hugs!

[minefield]

Hi Pegs,

Its nice to meet a fellow Brit on here as it seems that although there are a great deal of similarities with the US there is a great divide I guess because the systems are soo completely different.

I am on a waiting list for Psychology, my Psychiatist escalated it for me so i am at the top of the list but they are still unable to confirm if it will be weeks or months before they will see me despite escalations by my GP, the Pain Clinic, my old Psychotherapist and the Psychiatrist it really is a joke.

I have recently been actively attempting suicide but then surely that means I need them. But according to the head doc they will not been keen if I am so low and may refuse to treat me, does this mean I have to lie to them in order to be seen??? I have been waiting a year and a half since referral to psychology but psychotherapy ended in Jan. It feels that becasue I am an itellegent, decent member of society not a dirty violent criminal, alcho or druggie apart from weed they are happy to leave me to suffer.

One of my early abusers (my cuz) got sent to prision for a drug related crime got loads of therapy and qualifications and now he is out has a whole bright future ahead that was not there for him before prision. I finished school, went to uni, got a good job and then fell apart after being rapped again but I am not entitiled to help at all.... How is this system fair??????

The crisis team who kept refusing to take me on because they siad because I am dealing with childhood abuse their short term service would not help have now finsally agreed to attempt to look after me and are also talking about referring me to DBT but how long is a piece of string so the only help I have at the moment is the hospital. This is why I am looking for a way to manage them....

The crisis team are a head ache, they are lazy, disallusioned, uninterested and I am desperate to complain about them but I keep getting thrown back to them so I am scared to complain because they are rubbish at the moment and when I point out how bad they are they lable me as a multiple complainer but honestly they would all be sacked if they got a job at the bank I use to work at. How bad will they be if I create a problem for them by complaining???

When this is over I plan to take this further but at the moment I am too emotional and would not make an effective job of complaining.. have you ever contacted PALS what was your experienced???

I am terrified I can't cope with living let alone all that comes this this sort of action but I am really getting desperate that no one is listening to me or even trying to help and whilst they are so slow and lazy I have lost my life, job and friends... why are they so slow!!!!!!

[pegasus]

Hello minefield,

I do understand your frustration with the system. I am glad you are on the waiting list for clinical psychology, you do sound like you need this. You do need to be stable enough to go into the traumas but the psychologist will give you good coping stratergies to do this. The crisis team are not trained to go into the deep, heavy stuff, only to step in where needed. I still think it's worth going to PALS as they need to know if a service is not providing what it should. Hang in there, hopefully that psychology appointment will come soon and then you will get the help you need.

[minefield]

Thank you