[Fuzzybear]

How do you learn to trust when your trust has been repeatedly violated by people who were supposed to care or said they cared? People who did not do what they said they would do

How do you learn to trust yourself when your childhood was one of abuse and deceit?

[stormgirl]

Hi Fuzzy

Trust is like anything else, you learn it by practising it, though often easier said then done, I guess.

The other thing that spins in my mind is 'why should we trust - is it necessary - can we cope without - what do we hope to achieve from it?'

What does trust even look like - feel like?? I think I am going to draw out and write out what trust is to me, cause, in answering this post I have realised that I have no idea what trust means to me personally.

Sorry I am rambling. One toe in the water at a time ay? Work at your own pace cause I know you will get there in the end and when you do you can share all your wisdom with me.

[stormgirl]

PLUS - I think the people that violated your trust are truly mean and stinky people for hurting such a caring and kind person.

[hillbunnyb]

ooow this onion has layers! Trust. Do I, can I, even trust myself?
Yes, about some things, no about others. I passed my exit monday because I didn't recognize it........ I take good care of my bunnies....... Like Dirty Harry said, we've gotta know our own limitatons, for starters........

[ster]

trust I have a problem with this. the way I am, a person has to earn my trust I don't give it freely. this would be a time thing I see how they are with others If I see something that does not allow me to trust them than that is it. I tell someone a certain thing all true I also watch to see what they do with that info. Not much help but we need someone to trust so I for one have to try. and like you my passed stops me sometimes. I hope you can trust but I tend to keep myself safe. only let out at first what I want to. I hope you find something helpful in this.

[January]

((((((((( Fuzzy ))))))))))

I have learned to trust myself through therapy. My counselor has taught me a different way of thinking through problems and the every day stress of life. If I use those guidelines I'm 90% sure of being on track. If I mess up, well, I just do and I start over.

Trust is hard. I know. But I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. That doesn't mean I throw my heart and soul at them. It means that I am polite and am pleasantly surprised when the best happens. Many more people are good than bad.

I hope this helps a little.

Hugs,

Jan

I think you learn to trust by going just a little further esach time in trusting others. It takes an effort of will and I'm not that good at it!

[SongBirdandDaisy]

BIG question, Fuzzy.

I, too, have trust issues. I ask my T all the time about it. I like what ______________ said, you learn trust by taking one more step each time you deal with the person. It't kind of like testing the person. You trust a little and as they pass the test, the next time or maybe the time after that, you trust a little further.

I know where your question is coming from. I've been trying to figure out the trust thing. I've often asked in total confusion how someone you're supposed to trust to take care of you is the one who rips that trust away. It creates a lot of confusion and I think as we work through therapy, it will all come together.

Maybe for now, we can be a little more patient with ourselves and give ourselves permission to be confused and hurt and have trouble trusting. As long as we are aware and try to let some people in a little bit - practice with safety.

Lots of love,
Songbird

[ster]

Ok this is very informative. 2 weeks ago I had a problem as my therypst said something I took it wrong. My natural instinct was to close up to her. I posted on one of the sites I go to, they suggested I talk to her about it. I did and it was cleared up then. this is the first time I did something like this. it helped me to have that trust I had with her continue. I hope this helps

[Fuzzybear]

Thank you all.... your replies help.

[SongBirdandDaisy]

ster,

Good for you! Assertive communication is a tough one to get into. Perhaps you can use this experience to help you in another situation. That's what T says to do. I can't quite get the hang of it . . . but someday.

Good job!
Songbird

[Mahali]

Post deleted by January

[Fuzzybear]

thank you (((((((( place ))))))))

[silver_queen]

((((((((((((((( Fuzzy )))))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((( Silver )))))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

[stormgirl]

oh Fuzzy don't be sad........we think you are really special and we truly do love your honesty

[Fuzzybear]

thanks Stormgirl I AM honest, and that has got me into trouble before now ..... I just hate lies

Thanks again hon!

I think honesty is very important! I also think that you and I could walk hand in hand, when it comes to this.

((((((((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

I think so too Nina!!

((((((((((((((( Nina ))))))))))))))