We spent some time talking about how I can be doing fine and then suddenly get triggered and everything is catastrophic. He said it has to do with the messages from the past and that we need to find a way of filtering them out. I hear my parents' criticisms from childhood and instantly my whole outlook changes and I believe all those negative messages, even though the rest of the time I hear and believe the positive messages about myself I have worked to build up. Anyone got any ideas aobut how to block the negative messages? One way he suggested is to focus more on the positive messages. But when situations or events trigger me I react - he said this - I react instantly and all the cognitive behaviour stuff goes out of the window. I told him I feel like another person, totally different. I really want to change this but I don't know how.
I only dissociated once - T said he is getting better at recognising when I do. We did discuss the calling back and how it scared me that he couldn't immediately last week. He asked why it scared me and I talked about feeling I might get trapped. does anyoen else have that feeling? - sometimes I even wonder if I really am trapped now in a dissociative episode and just don't recognise it. He said I need to create a safe image that I can use when triggered into dissociation, to remind myself that I am safe in the here and now. That's something I'm going to work on - that visualisation.
He said I am doing well. He was very impressed with my boosts book. Quite a few of you feature in it, so thank you for your supportive and encouraging posts and messages.

Sounds like over all it was a good session for you.

I get those kind of voices and thoughts too. The way I counter them and stop them is by breaking the process down into steps -

1. I look around and notice things around me and touch something to remind myself to stay connected to the here and now instead of listening to the voices and thoughts.

2. I look around to see if there is anything or a situation going on that reminds me of those voices and thoughts.

2. If I find what it is that has triggered those voices and thoughts I then say - Ok there it is.

3. then I say to myself - ok Im ok, this is May 16, 2006.

4. I say - that voice and thought is a memory so it can not hurt me now.

5. I say That (situation or object that matches the voices and thoughts) is why I am hearing that thought or voice.

6. I say - I can listen to what it is and write it down so that later I can make a plan so that I will better next time

7. Or I can ... (fill in something from my emergency list of things to do when I am upset like writing, drawing taking a walk and paying attention to what I see, hear and so on while out walking ...ect)

8. Or I can write it down and do the emergency list of things too.

A visualization that helps me alot is closing my eyes and pretending I am sitting or laying out in the sun and the suns warmth warms and relaxes my body from head to toe.

My therapist has also recorded when we do relaxation visualizations in sessions and I listen and to those at home too by closing my eyes and pretending I am sitting in that therapy session doing that recorded relaxation visualization.

Hang in there.

Thank you for so many such practical ideas, myself. I really appreciate it. I am working on, trying so hard to, no allow myself to be triggered. To do that I need to recognise that I am being triggered when the panic starts, not when I am so deep into it that it has overwhelmed me.
I have my boosts book which is full of positive things people have said to me. My T was really impressed by how I did it; another member here suggested I use my enjoyment of card making to make it into a mini scrapbook and so that is what I have done. There is one quote on each page and I typed each one out in a different font. Then I mounted it and added embellishments (gems, die cuts etc). He said it was by far the most creative version he had seen and he was going to suggest it to some of his other clients. I am thinking of doing another book in a similar way, but this one to have coping strategies, things i can do when triggered. Maybe, since the boosts book has helped me so much, that would also help. I need to find a way of intervening early on in the process. He was concerned about how my moods swing so rapidly, and so am I. I feel like a different person when I get triggered into panic. Heck, I act like a different person.
We haven't done any visualisations in sessions, but I do have some guided meditations which I have not been doing recently. Perhaps that is something else that will help.
Thank you.

Great Ideas Love the card and boost book ideas I just may try them myself. LOL

Ye the trick is noticing the trigger and taking care of yourself BEFORE going into full blown trigger reactions of panic attacks and dissociating.

Hang in there you are doing great.

[hillbunnyb]

Sounds like yer doing it as fast and well as can be done. Over time the intervals of being calm are way more than the flares. And, the flares get smaller and shorter. Processing and recovery go better and better. Keep on keeping on.

[SongBirdandDaisy]

[Fuzzybear]

it is not safe here
i am scared
lucy

[stormgirl]

Your boosts book idea is so way-cool I think I will make one too.

You are doing a GREAT job - I hope you've treated yourself to something nice of late