[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

So this is kind of a spinoff from a thread in the abuse section, as well as the grief section, sorry...

So I'm here now after my appointment with t and really thinking over something he said. I don't remember the exact phrase, and have no clue if I'm spelling it right but he said I "compartmentalize" my mental stresses. I didn't think he was right at first, then I realized I didn't even know what that meant. My guess is he's referring to my blocking feelings?

My grandmother passed away Sunday, I have yet to cry and I was closer to her than any other woman in my life. And it wasn't a pretty passing, while there were good parts to her last few days, it wasn't pretty at all and I was there to see it. But I didn't cry. I went numb to it. Same thing happened 4 years ago when she had her strokes.

When my fiance and I argue, if it hits a certain point I go numb, I block out all negative feelings and start talking in a calm rational, yet emotionless voice.

The abuse I personally remember as a child, even that doesn't/didn't really cause emotional pain. When things get to be too much, more than I feel I can handle, I just put the feelings far away and often never allow myself to feel them. I've done this my whole life. And old t, after telling her about some of my past abuse, said by the way I talked about it, as if I didn't care, she assumed there was a "part" specifically for holding my strong feelings. But this new t is calling it "compartmentalizing". Is there a difference? T thinks the compartmentalizing is from the DID but I don't even know what that means.

Is it ok though to just keep going this way, or is it what doctors strive to do in the "healing process" to stop the "compartmentalizing" or w/e it is? I don't want to feel the pain and kind of would prefer to keep it away

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

So this is kind of a spinoff from a thread in the abuse section, as well as the grief section, sorry...

So I'm here now after my appointment with t and really thinking over something he said. I don't remember the exact phrase, and have no clue if I'm spelling it right but he said I "compartmentalize" my mental stresses. I didn't think he was right at first, then I realized I didn't even know what that meant. My guess is he's referring to my blocking feelings?

My grandmother passed away Sunday, I have yet to cry and I was closer to her than any other woman in my life. And it wasn't a pretty passing, while there were good parts to her last few days, it wasn't pretty at all and I was there to see it. But I didn't cry. I went numb to it. Same thing happened 4 years ago when she had her strokes.

When my fiance and I argue, if it hits a certain point I go numb, I block out all negative feelings and start talking in a calm rational, yet emotionless voice.

The abuse I personally remember as a child, even that doesn't/didn't really cause emotional pain. When things get to be too much, more than I feel I can handle, I just put the feelings far away and often never allow myself to feel them. I've done this my whole life. And old t, after telling her about some of my past abuse, said by the way I talked about it, as if I didn't care, she assumed there was a "part" specifically for holding my strong feelings. But this new t is calling it "compartmentalizing". Is there a difference? T thinks the compartmentalizing is from the DID but I don't even know what that means.

Is it ok though to just keep going this way, or is it what doctors strive to do in the "healing process" to stop the "compartmentalizing" or w/e it is? I don't want to feel the pain and kind of would prefer to keep it away

Im sorry purpleflyingmonkeys we cant tell you whether its ok for you to keep going on this way, we cant tell you what doctors strive to do in the healing process to stop the compartmentalizing...
only your own treatment providers can tell you if its ok for you to continue doing this and only your treatment providers can tell you how they want you to stop doing it..

therapy isnt this one shoe fits all kind of thing. how my treatment providers work with me on this or how I work with my clients on this may not be how your tretment providers want you to be doing things...

example my treatment providers and I agree given the work I do it is best that I keep compartmentalizing ... here where I live and work theres a difference between the words compartmentalizing and blocking.

here where I live and work compartmentalizing is putting aside something to work on later, placing things in categories...kind of like a filing system..

I wouldnt treat a person with depression the same way in which I treat someone who is dealing with homelessness and starvation right..

in one compartment of my life...I would work one way with the crisis center clients that have homelessness problems by helping them get set up with food stamps, cash assistance, homeless shelters

and in another compartment help the depressed client get a medical doctor and psychiatrist who can evaluate whether the depression is mental or medical issues, help them learn how to manage their medications through helping them to register for a class or apply for a home nurse....

and in another compartment of my life I have to keep my own mental health issues in a different place and time than during my work hours with my clients..

the result is I have to be able to set aside what doesnt apply at the present moment that I'm in and come back to it when its the right time and place. So my treatment providers and I do not strive to stop my compartmentalizing.

Here where I live and work blocking out is consciously or unconsciously not dealing with an issue, ignoring something, never addressing it, just keep pushing it away.

my treatment providers and I work on this issue in many different ways.. talking the problem I would rather not deal with, over with my treatment providers, Taking care of the problem instead of shoving it away, stuffing it down and not dealing with it.

each of us has our own ways in which works for us.. me besides talking with my treatment providers, going for a boat ride on the lake helps me to clear my head and be ready to take on what ever problem is going on.

there is no clear cut way to get through the healing process...What ever works for you is what works for you and what works for ken down the street works for ken and what works for me works for me.

talk with your treatment providers they will tell you what they meant by the term compartmentalizing and how they want/expect you to deal with this issue.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

So this is kind of a spinoff from a thread in the abuse section, as well as the grief section, sorry...

So I'm here now after my appointment with t and really thinking over something he said. I don't remember the exact phrase, and have no clue if I'm spelling it right but he said I "compartmentalize" my mental stresses. I didn't think he was right at first, then I realized I didn't even know what that meant. My guess is he's referring to my blocking feelings?

My grandmother passed away Sunday, I have yet to cry and I was closer to her than any other woman in my life. And it wasn't a pretty passing, while there were good parts to her last few days, it wasn't pretty at all and I was there to see it. But I didn't cry. I went numb to it. Same thing happened 4 years ago when she had her strokes.

When my fiance and I argue, if it hits a certain point I go numb, I block out all negative feelings and start talking in a calm rational, yet emotionless voice.

The abuse I personally remember as a child, even that doesn't/didn't really cause emotional pain. When things get to be too much, more than I feel I can handle, I just put the feelings far away and often never allow myself to feel them. I've done this my whole life. And old t, after telling her about some of my past abuse, said by the way I talked about it, as if I didn't care, she assumed there was a "part" specifically for holding my strong feelings. But this new t is calling it "compartmentalizing". Is there a difference? T thinks the compartmentalizing is from the DID but I don't even know what that means.

Is it ok though to just keep going this way, or is it what doctors strive to do in the "healing process" to stop the "compartmentalizing" or w/e it is? I don't want to feel the pain and kind of would prefer to keep it away

When I was younger I felt like my memories were kept in business style mail slots. When I needed a memory someone would go and get it. I thought everyone's thoughts worked like that. I always understood my thoughts to be compartmentalized. I realize now that a lot of my thoughts and feelings are parts of me. And sometimes these parts have to share the memories so that we know how to respond to someone or a situation. Still my thoughts are compartmentalized, only now I understand they are in my fragmented parts. It is a way of protecting myself from emotional overload. Or that is how I safely like to think about it. I am working with my t on bring everyone together so we think and feel as one. Some of us are stuck with the hurtful memories and others have the fun memories. I want us all to share our life so no one part is stuck in pain. I believe this will come with full integration of my memories and emotions. I want to feel everything good or bad. I want to have peace of mind. It is ok to cry for someone you loved.

[jax01]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

So this is kind of a spinoff from a thread in the abuse section, as well as the grief section, sorry...

So I'm here now after my appointment with t and really thinking over something he said. I don't remember the exact phrase, and have no clue if I'm spelling it right but he said I "compartmentalize" my mental stresses. I didn't think he was right at first, then I realized I didn't even know what that meant. My guess is he's referring to my blocking feelings?

My grandmother passed away Sunday, I have yet to cry and I was closer to her than any other woman in my life. And it wasn't a pretty passing, while there were good parts to her last few days, it wasn't pretty at all and I was there to see it. But I didn't cry. I went numb to it. Same thing happened 4 years ago when she had her strokes.

When my fiance and I argue, if it hits a certain point I go numb, I block out all negative feelings and start talking in a calm rational, yet emotionless voice.

The abuse I personally remember as a child, even that doesn't/didn't really cause emotional pain. When things get to be too much, more than I feel I can handle, I just put the feelings far away and often never allow myself to feel them. I've done this my whole life. And old t, after telling her about some of my past abuse, said by the way I talked about it, as if I didn't care, she assumed there was a "part" specifically for holding my strong feelings. But this new t is calling it "compartmentalizing". Is there a difference? T thinks the compartmentalizing is from the DID but I don't even know what that means.

Is it ok though to just keep going this way, or is it what doctors strive to do in the "healing process" to stop the "compartmentalizing" or w/e it is? I don't want to feel the pain and kind of would prefer to keep it away

Just a quick thing to say here.
I do the compartmentalization thing too. It kinda goes with DID. It's been my experience that pain hidden or stuffed away, instead of felt and delt with, is all still there. Some time it stays fresh as the day I should have felt it.
It will come out. Only how it comes out is in question. It can manifest it self through illness and pain.
It hurts and is unpleasant, but if you choose to deal with it, you can pick how and when.
Which is better than letting the pain choose for you.
Okay. Done.
Jax

[LouR]

Hi Purple!
Compartmentalising is all the above it just depends on how you work through this information.
I've recently realized after reading "the road less travelled" by M.Scott Peck that DID has been my quick fix solution for nearly every situation I've been in by not experiencing the pain of the emotions I have not truly evolved or grown as a human being by learning from the experiences that occurred. What worked for me in my childhood when trauma occurred has not translated well in my adult life when trauma happens.
Compartmentalising for me is not actually helpful because I am not learning from those experiences and becoming wiser
So I' m trying to review my road map to deal with issues occurring in my life and taking responsibility for what I can own.