[LouR]

Hi I haven't participated in while
I have come to the realisation that I need to own my problems and work through them rather then blame it on my emotional personalities.
I realized recently that they are all me
Transference that worked when I was a child that no longer works now that I'm an adult.
facing my issues are confronting and I actually feel a sense of empowerment when I do and work through it.
I even to a lesser degree help others who ask me for advice to find a way to solve issues without manipulation or "controlling others" and more often than not it works
Is this what it feels like to be a complete identity? I sure as hell hope so.
Regards Lou

[Sierrarose]

It’s always helpful to learn more about what makes us tick. And being able to help and advise others gives us much needed validation. No man is an island.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by LouR

Hi I haven't participated in while
I have come to the realisation that I need to own my problems and work through them rather then blame it on my emotional personalities.
I realized recently that they are all me
Transference that worked when I was a child that no longer works now that I'm an adult.
facing my issues are confronting and I actually feel a sense of empowerment when I do and work through it.
I even to a lesser degree help others who ask me for advice to find a way to solve issues without manipulation or "controlling others" and more often than not it works
Is this what it feels like to be a complete identity? I sure as hell hope so.
Regards Lou

I think you have turned the corner with your understanding that your system is you. That is the beginning of accepting yourself and working with your past trauma. I think helping others is an indication that your system is working together. It sounds like you are in a good place.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by LouR

Hi I haven't participated in while
I have come to the realisation that I need to own my problems and work through them rather then blame it on my emotional personalities.
I realized recently that they are all me
Transference that worked when I was a child that no longer works now that I'm an adult.
facing my issues are confronting and I actually feel a sense of empowerment when I do and work through it.
I even to a lesser degree help others who ask me for advice to find a way to solve issues without manipulation or "controlling others" and more often than not it works
Is this what it feels like to be a complete identity? I sure as hell hope so.
Regards Lou

yes for some people thats part of becoming one whole person again for some people for others it isnt.

for me no I did not have to accept all of what the alters did was me doing things wrong. those alters took control away from me, I was powerless and and because I did not have co consciousness with a majority of my alters I was not aware when ever they were in control so to me, It will always be Rainy did this and Sunny did that, thelma would do this....

what I did understand and accept was that due to trauma that was out of my control my whole personality that made up who and what I am broke /separated each time I was traumatized to protect me from the memories, feelings, thoughts....of those traumas, which resulted in each of those broken /separated parts of my personality when on living a life of their own completely out of my control and separate from me.

I didnt take on any blame for what happened to cause this and didnt take on any blame for what they did once they were broken/separated from me. blaming me for all this and what came after my alters came into being would have been counter productive/ negative / and retraumatizing to me and to all the alters. to me and my alters doing that would have been like saying I was to blame and it wasnt right for me to protect myself when an alter took over and prevented me from being traumatized, taking on blame would also be like saying it was wrong of me to survive the traumas I went through..

what was productive to my healing was working with my treatment providers on my symptoms and problems. As I became stronger, able to live a more stable life, and able to handle my problems in a non dissociative way, thats when the alters merged with me and became one with me because they were no longer needed for doing their job/purpose and reason for being.

yes it is very empowering to be able to handle life and problems without the use of dissociating into my alters.

and yes its very empowering and uplifting to know what I went through now can help others. doing so helps build self esteem, self worth, helps to lift depression and gives meaning to my life,and in some ways answers that hypothetical question of why am I here, why did I have to go through all that, why did I survive when so many others in the world died...

many people who go into psychology and medical careers do so because they have been through what their clients have and in doing so can help them. its why I became a therapist.

the job is hard and taxing on all levels of physical and mental realms but so worth it when you know you have helped someone. There will always be those few in the batch that you cant help because they are not ready or because they are stuck in what ever phases they are in, or because even though they come to you for help verbally and physically mentally they would rather not get well yet because being stuck or ill or mal adaptive is all they have known, change and accepting the help you are willing to give is hard for some. So in your efforts to help others, dont take it personally when someone you are trying to help shoots you down, rejects you or what ever their tactics are, when that kind of thing happens to me I chalk it up to their loss and keep on reaching out to help others and be there when others reach out to me.

[LouR]

So true Amandalouise.
I think I understand what you are saying about how it helped me way back when I was a child and now I'm realising that what worked then actually does not work now that I'm an adult.
I'm in the process of EMDR and working through the traumas, and it is after EMDR that I've gained a bit of insight and self actualisation. So far I've had my eight year old personality integrate with the help of my protector and my mothering personality.
The borderline personality tried to interfere but my protector blocked her from verbally abusing our T.
I was present through it all however I couldn't voice my opinion at the time. I don't believe I have co conciousness though.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by LouR

So true Amandalouise.
I think I understand what you are saying about how it helped me way back when I was a child and now I'm realising that what worked then actually does not work now that I'm an adult.
I'm in the process of EMDR and working through the traumas, and it is after EMDR that I've gained a bit of insight and self actualisation. So far I've had my eight year old personality integrate with the help of my protector and my mothering personality.
The borderline personality tried to interfere but my protector blocked her from verbally abusing our T.
I was present through it all however I couldn't voice my opinion at the time. I don't believe I have co conciousness though.

I have co consciousness with many in my system. But there are times when all I can do is watch. I see what they are doing and voice my objection but it appears like they can't hear me. They do what they want. Afterward I don't always remember the event in its entirety, but if my t mentions something I said, someone in my system will go and get the info for me. Than I plug it into the stuff I do remember. Usually I will than start recalling the entire event. But it always feels like it happened a long time ago. Not like at the last session. I am not sure what that is that I experience or if others people with DID experience the same thing.