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Old Oct 04, 2012, 11:00 PM
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blossommayflower27 blossommayflower27 is offline
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we just recently had this really intense and deep conversation with our best friend...and low and behold...we got to talking about all our different parts...and honestly got really really sad...we dont wanna loose what we have...and yet at the same time we know that some people just are not capable of making healthy choices for the body...they basically flat out refuse to...and so...we got all sad inside...and a little scared...because i realized that just because that part of me doesnt make the healthiest decisions...doesnt mean that we should get rid of them...and to me that is what it would feel like i would be doing...in a sense...and that makes all of me sad...we hold a lot of resentment for our mom...who has put up with our entire system for years...but at the same time there is a small part of me that resents her for not keeping all of me safe when i really was little and father would hurt us...sorry...so that tiny part feels lots and lots of resentment for mom...even though she had no clue anything was going on...and she did the best with what she had...and she did now and in our later years help out more...but when we were little we dont recall her being around much at all...i think she was working a lot...so now...part of me wants these parts that either hold resentment or are making unhealthy choices...we want those parts to go away...but at the same time...we dont wanna get rid of any of them...then we might miss them...and feel real real sad...i suppose i just dont know what to do about all this jazz...and that is why we decided to come here and write some of this out...for our own sake...i guess mainly...that and maybe get some suggestions if anyone can follow this nonsensical rambling of sorts...take care and thank you for reading this...for those of you that were able to...we really appreciate it...

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((BLOSSOM))
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  #2  
Old Oct 05, 2012, 12:36 AM
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blackrainbow blackrainbow is offline
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maybe they need to be heard cuz them people who feel resentment have a right to their feelings they went thru lots and maybe when theyve had people to listen to them validate what they feel help them be able to fogive and understand heal then things could be better for all of you i dont think gettign rid of people is the answer to anything on account of everyone wants to be seen heard deserves to be and what they carry needs to be healed maybe wantign them gone makes you all sad cuz it hurts them cuz it makes them feel bad unwanted and they feel bad enough already
alex
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blossommayflower27, Crew
  #3  
Old Oct 05, 2012, 08:31 AM
Claritytoo Claritytoo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blossommayflower27 View Post
we just recently had this really intense and deep conversation with our best friend...and low and behold...we got to talking about all our different parts...and honestly got really really sad...we dont wanna loose what we have...and yet at the same time we know that some people just are not capable of making healthy choices for the body...they basically flat out refuse to...and so...we got all sad inside...and a little scared...because i realized that just because that part of me doesnt make the healthiest decisions...doesnt mean that we should get rid of them...and to me that is what it would feel like i would be doing...in a sense...and that makes all of me sad...we hold a lot of resentment for our mom...who has put up with our entire system for years...but at the same time there is a small part of me that resents her for not keeping all of me safe when i really was little and father would hurt us...sorry...so that tiny part feels lots and lots of resentment for mom...even though she had no clue anything was going on...and she did the best with what she had...and she did now and in our later years help out more...but when we were little we dont recall her being around much at all...i think she was working a lot...so now...part of me wants these parts that either hold resentment or are making unhealthy choices...we want those parts to go away...but at the same time...we dont wanna get rid of any of them...then we might miss them...and feel real real sad...i suppose i just dont know what to do about all this jazz...and that is why we decided to come here and write some of this out...for our own sake...i guess mainly...that and maybe get some suggestions if anyone can follow this nonsensical rambling of sorts...take care and thank you for reading this...for those of you that were able to...we really appreciate it...


I have spend a lot of years unaware of my system. It wasn't until I thought I was going insane that I found out that I had a "system'. I was always aware of my thoughts/voices and believed everyone's mind worked that way. I have since met many of my parts and I am grateful for all of them. Even the self harming ones because they are all there for a reason. To save us. To save our sanity and physical life. But some of them live in constant emotional and physical pain with hurtful memories. There are others that are happy to be alive and enjoy their existence. I come to believe that it is not fair to have any one of my alters exist in endless pain. This is what they saved me from. I believe if I can integrate all of us no one will have to live in endless pain. Yes we/I will know the truth, but I am big and strong and smart and it will not overcome me. I don't believe I will lose anyone. They will all just come back home where they belong.
Thanks for this!
blossommayflower27, such is life...
  #4  
Old Oct 05, 2012, 09:58 AM
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such is life... such is life... is offline
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my response is within Blossoms thread not seperated
[quote=blossommayflower27;2622048]we just recently had this really intense and deep conversation with our best friend...and low and behold...we got to talking about all our different parts...and honestly got really really sad...we dont wanna loose what we have...and yet at the same time we know that some people just are not capable of making healthy choices for the body...they basically flat out refuse to...and so...we got all sad inside...and a little scared...because i realized that just because that part of me doesnt make the healthiest decisions...doesnt mean that we should get rid of them...and to me that is what it would feel like i would be doing...in a sense...and that makes all of me sad...we hold a lot of resentment for our mom...who has put up with our entire system for years...but at the same time there is a small part of me that resents her for not keeping all of me safe when i really was little and father would hurt us...sorry...so that tiny part feels lots and lots of resentment for mom...even though she had no clue anything was going on...and she did the best with what she had...and she did now and in our later years help out more...but when we were little we dont recall her being around much at all...i think she was working a lot...so now...part of me wants these parts that either hold resentment or are making unhealthy choices...we want those parts to go away...but at the same time...we dont wanna get rid of any of them...then we might miss them...and feel real real sad...i suppose i just dont know what to do about all this jazz...and that is why we decided to come here and write some of this out...for our own sake...i guess mainly...that and maybe get some suggestions if anyone can follow this nonsensical rambling of sorts...take care and thank you for reading this...for those of you that were able to...we really appreciate it...
((blossom))) Hey as you may have read in my last thread a boat load of little ones have been integrated ( not all but a bunch) This has really helped the protector parts that the little ones belonged to.We did miss them immensely at first... it was so much quieter inside,so we asked our T if it was normal to miss their presence ,chit chat,laughter,but while we miss that part we don't miss the pain and agony these little ones were in plus the integration of these little ones has given their protectors time to work on other issues.( before they would have to find baby sitters) My T said that most people do miss their parts that integrate and that it usually takes a couple of weeks for the quietness to feel "normal" The greatest part of integrating these little ones is that they are safe now,they are inside of me and no one can ever hurt them again...ever!!! On the lighter side when we go to a store we are not in the toy isle playing with toys...ahhh the good old days lol.... Thanks for sharing blossom if you need to talk you know where I am (((((blossom)))))
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blossommayflower27
  #5  
Old Oct 06, 2012, 12:25 PM
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amandalouise amandalouise is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
Posts: 9,171
Quote:
Originally Posted by blossommayflower27 View Post
we just recently had this really intense and deep conversation with our best friend...and low and behold...we got to talking about all our different parts...and honestly got really really sad...we dont wanna loose what we have...and yet at the same time we know that some people just are not capable of making healthy choices for the body...they basically flat out refuse to...and so...we got all sad inside...and a little scared...because i realized that just because that part of me doesnt make the healthiest decisions...doesnt mean that we should get rid of them...and to me that is what it would feel like i would be doing...in a sense...and that makes all of me sad...we hold a lot of resentment for our mom...who has put up with our entire system for years...but at the same time there is a small part of me that resents her for not keeping all of me safe when i really was little and father would hurt us...sorry...so that tiny part feels lots and lots of resentment for mom...even though she had no clue anything was going on...and she did the best with what she had...and she did now and in our later years help out more...but when we were little we dont recall her being around much at all...i think she was working a lot...so now...part of me wants these parts that either hold resentment or are making unhealthy choices...we want those parts to go away...but at the same time...we dont wanna get rid of any of them...then we might miss them...and feel real real sad...i suppose i just dont know what to do about all this jazz...and that is why we decided to come here and write some of this out...for our own sake...i guess mainly...that and maybe get some suggestions if anyone can follow this nonsensical rambling of sorts...take care and thank you for reading this...for those of you that were able to...we really appreciate it...

none of my alters disappeared or went away when they became one with me, they are all still here just in a different way...

talk with your treatment providers they can explain to you about what happens to alters when they integrate with you, when its time for them to do so.
  #6  
Old Oct 06, 2012, 09:49 PM
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cryingoutloud1 cryingoutloud1 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2012
Posts: 47
May be you can show the part that is hurting the body and who is hurtting emotionally healthy ways to cope. If that part does want to cope in healthy ways may be you can figure out why? what is there for that part to hold on to for them to cope in an unhealthy way?
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  #7  
Old Oct 08, 2012, 11:58 AM
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Crew Crew is offline
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Member Since: May 2008
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 4,718
Hey blossom I don't know if this makes sense or not but I hope it does. I again as you know am not a therapist in any way shape or form. I just want to say this. I am part of the Crew. I USED TO think that if someone "merged" they were just "poof... gone!!!" I thought I needed that part b/c they drove the best. Then as we have all huddled in a sense together and shared this memory and that memory with each other I realized we used each other to support each other as I am supporting you as well (((bloossm)))) even though you are not in my system.
You are in control on how little or how much that part chooses to go away. I have even learned from myself and others that I have been in DD Units that you cannot make exp. Jack and Bill merge if they don't want it. There are no rules and seinse I am a survivor, we used to debate this within and with T's that pushed merging. In my opinion, no one truly has to merge, it's a personal choice that only you get to make. How lucky you are, in a meaningful way~! The only thing I do know is if you can become more aware and co-conscious of each other, hear each others ways of expressing minus the self-harm, move in the same direction without fear of destructive behavior by different parts is the key, not merging....... in fact Merging is something you look back on, not something to prepare for.
****This is only our (Crew's) opinion******* We hope the best for you!
crew
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