[innocentjoy]

exhausted, and new to all the switching. No lost time, just very confusing. Mellowing this weekend.

[mrkman12]

new to this forum, have multiple entities that are comorbid to each other and confuses overall clinical picture and treatment options....

[pegasus]

Welcome mrkman12!

[lifelies]

New here, too...
I'm feeling great today. Yesterday Allie was in one of those horrible Bipolar depressive episode days. Hopefully today she didn't wake up (oh, not that bad meaning, but I woke up first so I took control first ) so I've been sunbathing and installing The Sims 3 for 1000th time after somebody else uninstalled them
Allie is still feeling down, I'm starting to feel her pain a bit so that's not a good signal because it means that she's coming...
Cheers!
Lana
Lifelies

[pegasus]

Welcome lifelies! I do indeed understand!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by pegasus

Nothing much, everything is mostly down!

[Gr3tta]

Had a pretty good week in spite of some volatile emotions.

But having ghost me right now. Don't feel like me. Do not like. Hope will go away.

[Gr3tta]

Feel more inside myself today, but feel like run over by a truck. Every muscle aches feels like beat on and stabbed and twisted. Not moving right and bumping into things making more hurts. Hurts just to light touch.
Plan to walk dogs later, hope am able.

doing OK-ish been having some really rough patches but getting through them a little at a time

[beadlady29]

hmmmmm wear do we start.............their is good an their is bad............the good is we ccan finally both nget back online & watch tv neither of which have we beened abel ta do far lats 3 month cuo not afford either one..........but now we does and that we feel spoiled haveign both honesly.........it were very lonesome and just made uor feeling disconnected worser so now mabe it will get a some gooder again.........
we is makkeign new freidns specially uor neighbors that live next to beads they really nice cuopel what is help beads a lot......
all beadeis old freidns has kicked her in the butt and wotn have nothing nio more ta do withn us sinced we left d cuz he was beign abusive to us they say u dotn leave a dyeign man we say yes u do when he iisn hurting u................so whatever they just dotn get it he aint dead yet could live another 10 yrs anyway far all they no............or we no.............he aint find us....................we be safe hear......from him anyways the neiborhood not so safe but it is what it is we gotsa live wear we can afford to and he not can find us both.............got strept throt rite now.....yeah so like when aint we sick almost never it seem like..............oh and now they want us to walkl with the walker thing not so thrilled abuot that oen but ccuz we falling too much and sometime cnnot get up sleep on floor till choreworker come an help us up next day.....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr................not fun...............beads

I have been hiding a lot but I'm around. Kind of having a hard time and my T is away so....BLAH! I hope you all are doing all right.

[lifelies]

Feeling great and happy
Beach is lovely, I love sun! I hope we started going to the beach before, because we only have one month of summer
alex
Lifelies

kind of having a sad day today

[innocentjoy]

supposed to be camping with the family. Got sick, and triggered, and now I'm taking care of us at my parents house....at least it's quiet. I hate being sick!!!

[lifelies]

I'm happy! And hungry!
Quit smoking, be healthy => be happy!
Allie

looking forward to our long session today badly needed thats for sure! hope everyone else is doing well ♥

[lifelies]

*trigger warning*
I'm sick of everything.

Tom's father already almost killed us once, driving drunk.
Tom's father made each one of us want to kill ourselves, and we tried several times.
Tom's father made each one of us cut ourselves.
I hate him.

Our mother loved us.
Our mother took care of us, but
Our mother didn't realize we had problems (BPD, for example) since body was 10
Our mother didn't listen to us when we told her about Tom's father abusing us
Our mother didn't react when she started listening
Our mother decided to help us 5 years after the divorce, when the harm is already done.
But she wanting to help only harms more.
She understands nothing.
For her, if it's not physicial abuse, it's nothing.
For her, not seeing OUR ABUSER is breaking a relationship.
For her, not seeing OUR ABUSER is not having a father.
We don't have a father. That's why Tom's father isn't our father.
We don't need a father.
Body/Tom is 15.
But she thinks we can't decide yet.
So I'm starting to hate her too.
I hate her. Yes, I do.
And I'm afraid to loose her too.
She is starting to act like my father.
Is she going to be our other abuser?
She already was our abuser, by denying that we had an abuser.

I just know that I can't afford to loose her.
I don't care about love.
It's just that, without her, where would we go?
If we could live alone, I'd do that.
But we can't.

Why isn't there something like UK's ChildLine in Spain?
I'm sorry, but I want to kill myself.
I always wanted.
We don't have parents anymore.
Good parents kill their sons when something bad is happening.
So we should be our own parents now.
Christine

[possum220]

Still here........... playing in the branches.

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by lifelies

*trigger warning*
I'm sick of everything.

Tom's father already almost killed us once, driving drunk.
Tom's father made each one of us want to kill ourselves, and we tried several times.
Tom's father made each one of us cut ourselves.
I hate him.

Our mother loved us.
Our mother took care of us, but
Our mother didn't realize we had problems (BPD, for example) since body was 10
Our mother didn't listen to us when we told her about Tom's father abusing us
Our mother didn't react when she started listening
Our mother decided to help us 5 years after the divorce, when the harm is already done.
But she wanting to help only harms more.
She understands nothing.
For her, if it's not physicial abuse, it's nothing.
For her, not seeing OUR ABUSER is breaking a relationship.
For her, not seeing OUR ABUSER is not having a father.
We don't have a father. That's why Tom's father isn't our father.
We don't need a father.
Body/Tom is 15.
But she thinks we can't decide yet.
So I'm starting to hate her too.
I hate her. Yes, I do.
And I'm afraid to loose her too.
She is starting to act like my father.
Is she going to be our other abuser?
She already was our abuser, by denying that we had an abuser.

I just know that I can't afford to loose her.
I don't care about love.
It's just that, without her, where would we go?
If we could live alone, I'd do that.
But we can't.

Why isn't there something like UK's ChildLine in Spain?
I'm sorry, but I want to kill myself.
I always wanted.
We don't have parents anymore.
Good parents kill their sons when something bad is happening.
So we should be our own parents now.
Christine

Dear heart, can you use some distractions for a while when this is all so intense. I'm sorry it is so bad right now. I send hugs

[pegasus]

Hugs to all!

[lifelies]

Hi everybody
I got a bit shocked when I read Christine's message above.
Although I don't feel the same way (I even feel guilty for "a part of me" wanting to kill my father), everything is and feels better now; both inside AND outside.
My father seems to act more like a normal person now!
I hope some day I can really love him.
Hugs and I hope your day/night/whatever is superawesome!
Tom

[Gr3tta]

I'm unearthing this thread.

How are you, everyone?

[possum220]

I have a learning difficulty. It seems worse lately. When I attempt to read and understand what some-one has posted my mind turns blank and I cannot understand the written word.

I would like to respond but I feel stupid. So I lurk around in most forums and leave. If I do post it will be short.

we are sorry possum surely you are anything but stupid *hugs*
today we are sad yesterday was our birthday *sigh*

[Gr3tta]

I met with a new pdoc today (eek! scary!) But he was actually pretty nice.