[Claritytoo]

When my little one is near (which right now in most of the time) I feel all the sadness and fear she holds. She hasn't let me see the memories. I am working with my t on the memories. My t is working with on containment strategies where I theoretically set aside the emotions (that are powerful) and work on the memories. I have explained to my t that I my little ones emotions are not separate from her memories and I can not see a way to set the emotions aside without setting her aside. Is this familiar to anyone? If so how did you work this out without hurting the little one. My present thought is to just allow the memories come through with their attached emotions and withstand the storm. My system has managed to keep me alive and sane all this time I don't think that will change. Any feed back would help. Just knowing that others have had similar experiences will help. Thank you.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

When my little one is near (which right now in most of the time) I feel all the sadness and fear she holds. She hasn't let me see the memories. I am working with my t on the memories. My t is working with on containment strategies where I theoretically set aside the emotions (that are powerful) and work on the memories. I have explained to my t that I my little ones emotions are not separate from her memories and I can not see a way to set the emotions aside without setting her aside. Is this familiar to anyone? If so how did you work this out without hurting the little one. My present thought is to just allow the memories come through with their attached emotions and withstand the storm. My system has managed to keep me alive and sane all this time I don't think that will change. Any feed back would help. Just knowing that others have had similar experiences will help. Thank you.

I know what your therapist is asking may seem a bit hard to do. it was for me until my therapist had me think about something....what happens when you dissociated those feelings to begin with? you set them aside by by using your imagination (dissociative)skills.

I looked at my therapist and said what?! and she pulled out her medical dictionary and it said dissociation is disconnecting/separating and here disconnecting and setting something aside means the same thing ...to remove it from what ever its connected to..

I thought about that for a moment and then asked her how do I set aside something that is already set aside that is trying to reconnect?

she told me.. the goal isnt to prevent it from connecting. you have worked hard to regain these repressed memories and now your brain is telling you, that you are ready to handle this memory other wise it would not be trying to reconnect..the problem is that you are getting overwhelmed by the re connection because you have always been disconnected from it. what happens when you rains too hard...flooded... but when it rains slow enough the earth can drink up the rain and crops can grow.. right now the feelings are flooded...how can you slow things down? its your body so only you know what you need in order for these feelings to ease up, slow down, not affect you so much... you can figure this out... and I did..

I used what I already knew about grounding.. when the feelings started getting too hard I turned my attention off of that feeling and on to something that grounds me....rowing my boat on the lake... the more I concentrated on feeling the boat movement, the water sounds, the paddling, the wildlife around the lake the less I felt the hard emotions. I could still feel them.
Imy goal wasnt to totally dissociate from them. my goal was to find a way in which they were no longer affecting me so hard.. I contained those hard feelings in a wall of grounding and breathing exercises. bottom line was its my body and thanks to dissociation in the past I didnt feel those things and in the present I again dont have to feel those things to overwhelming proportions. So I just took control of the situation and contained them in a way that I knew how to do...use my dissociation skills to focus my attention on the grounding and breathing that my therapist taught me for dealing with hard triggering times.

my suggestion talk with your therapist.. they will explain what they mean by containing the emotions so that you are not so overwhelmed and do what ever your therapist has taught you for times when you are triggered, feeling emotional and dealing with things. they are the ones that are treating you.

[jax01]

I understand some of what you're going through. I say it that way because I don't know you're history or anything else about you(could have worded that better), and it's impossible to know someone else experiences anyway.
But...
I have littles that have a real effect on my emotional state. meaning they're miserable, I'm miserable, and so on. Especially if they are close. And carry memories of unpleasant things.
You may want to consider if you need those memories....
Sometimes digging just hurts...
Just a thought. If you gotta, then you gotta. But if you don't...

Jax

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by jax01

I understand some of what you're going through. I say it that way because I don't know you're history or anything else about you(could have worded that better), and it's impossible to know someone else experiences anyway.
But...
I have littles that have a real effect on my emotional state. meaning they're miserable, I'm miserable, and so on. Especially if they are close. And carry memories of unpleasant things.
You may want to consider if you need those memories....
Sometimes digging just hurts...
Just a thought. If you gotta, then you gotta. But if you don't...

Jax

I gotta, I believe it is a way to free them from the painful emotions, and by freeing them I free myself.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I know what your therapist is asking may seem a bit hard to do. it was for me until my therapist had me think about something....what happens when you dissociated those feelings to begin with? you set them aside by by using your imagination (dissociative)skills.

I looked at my therapist and said what?! and she pulled out her medical dictionary and it said dissociation is disconnecting/separating and here disconnecting and setting something aside means the same thing ...to remove it from what ever its connected to..

I thought about that for a moment and then asked her how do I set aside something that is already set aside that is trying to reconnect?

she told me.. the goal isnt to prevent it from connecting. you have worked hard to regain these repressed memories and now your brain is telling you, that you are ready to handle this memory other wise it would not be trying to reconnect..the problem is that you are getting overwhelmed by the re connection because you have always been disconnected from it. what happens when you rains too hard...flooded... but when it rains slow enough the earth can drink up the rain and crops can grow.. right now the feelings are flooded...how can you slow things down? its your body so only you know what you need in order for these feelings to ease up, slow down, not affect you so much... you can figure this out... and I did..

I used what I already knew about grounding.. when the feelings started getting too hard I turned my attention off of that feeling and on to something that grounds me....rowing my boat on the lake... the more I concentrated on feeling the boat movement, the water sounds, the paddling, the wildlife around the lake the less I felt the hard emotions. I could still feel them.
Imy goal wasnt to totally dissociate from them. my goal was to find a way in which they were no longer affecting me so hard.. I contained those hard feelings in a wall of grounding and breathing exercises. bottom line was its my body and thanks to dissociation in the past I didnt feel those things and in the present I again dont have to feel those things to overwhelming proportions. So I just took control of the situation and contained them in a way that I knew how to do...use my dissociation skills to focus my attention on the grounding and breathing that my therapist taught me for dealing with hard triggering times.

my suggestion talk with your therapist.. they will explain what they mean by containing the emotions so that you are not so overwhelmed and do what ever your therapist has taught you for times when you are triggered, feeling emotional and dealing with things. they are the ones that are treating you.

When I ground myself it is usually because one of my alters is emotional. And they are locked in a particular emotional state. This is how they represent all the time. I have many fragmented alters that seem to be made up of emotion. If they have a memory that goes along with their emotion I am unaware of it. So John is fearful when he is out. John does not present in any other way. It is not like John will ever pop out laughing. If John is out than what is being felt is fear. So if I ground myself to relieve me of the feeling of fear, John goes back in and I come out. But that prevents John from talking to my t. I can repeat things that he wants to say but if he wants to talk to my t than fear is what we will be feeling.
So when my t asks me to contain the powerful emotions of the little girl while allowing her to say what she wants to say, I can't think of a way to do that. If I ground myself she will go back in. I don't know how she can exist separate from her emotions sense that is her reason for being. I think I need to take more time to get to know her. She seems to want very much to talk to my t. But I think she and I need to figure out a way for her to say what she want to say without me being consumed by the emotions attached to her memory.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

When I ground myself it is usually because one of my alters is emotional. And they are locked in a particular emotional state. This is how they represent all the time. I have many fragmented alters that seem to be made up of emotion. If they have a memory that goes along with their emotion I am unaware of it. So John is fearful when he is out. John does not present in any other way. It is not like John will ever pop out laughing. If John is out than what is being felt is fear. So if I ground myself to relieve me of the feeling of fear, John goes back in and I come out. But that prevents John from talking to my t. I can repeat things that he wants to say but if he wants to talk to my t than fear is what we will be feeling.
So when my t asks me to contain the powerful emotions of the little girl while allowing her to say what she wants to say, I can't think of a way to do that. If I ground myself she will go back in. I don't know how she can exist separate from her emotions sense that is her reason for being. I think I need to take more time to get to know her. She seems to want very much to talk to my t. But I think she and I need to figure out a way for her to say what she want to say without me being consumed by the emotions attached to her memory.

I see...

Im sorry but I dont know of any thing outside of you (meds/therapy technique/ containment/...) that would prevent co consciousness (the sharing of memories/emotions/feelings...) between alters and host..

inside your self well....usually a dissociative already knows how to contain/not feel things, how to shut out things that are too hard for them to handle.. so Im a bit surprised you dont know how to contain/prevent yourself from feeling. shutting off their feelings and other triggering things usually comes naturally to a dissociative.. thats how a person becomes DID to begin with...by shutting off /walling off/ separating what is too hard for them to handle....so Im kind of stuck on what to tell you that would not go against your treatment...

my suggestion talk with your therapist she will be able to explain to you what you need to do.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I see...

Im sorry but I dont know of any thing outside of you (meds/therapy technique/ containment/...) that would prevent co consciousness (the sharing of memories/emotions/feelings...) between alters and host..

inside your self well....usually a dissociative already knows how to contain/not feel things, how to shut out things that are too hard for them to handle.. so Im a bit surprised you dont know how to contain/prevent yourself from feeling. shutting off their feelings and other triggering things usually comes naturally to a dissociative.. thats how a person becomes DID to begin with...by shutting off /walling off/ separating what is too hard for them to handle....so Im kind of stuck on what to tell you that would not go against your treatment...

my suggestion talk with your therapist she will be able to explain to you what you need to do.

I switch when things become to hard to handle. And who ever shows up deals with what ever the issues are. That is how I dissociate. Each of my fragmented alters hold a specific memory and or emotion, so when I am having difficulty with fear I switch. The alter experiencing fear gets pushed back. This way I can function in the world. I have three alters who have complete personalities. They go to work, drive, make decisions etc. If one of my fragmented alters wants to be present, like at session, they come forward. But they bring with them their memories and emotions. The only way that I am aware of to stop from feeling extreme sadness, or fear, or anger is to switch to someone who doesn't have these feelings. That is how my system works. So when you or my t refer to "dissociating" as a method of containment I don't know how to do that since my method of containment are my alters. They contain the information emotions and body memories and that allows me to function in the world. And I don't know how to create an alter, They have always been with me. I have just always been this way.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

I switch when things become to hard to handle. And who ever shows up deals with what ever the issues are. That is how I dissociate. Each of my fragmented alters hold a specific memory and or emotion, so when I am having difficulty with fear I switch. The alter experiencing fear gets pushed back. This way I can function in the world. I have three alters who have complete personalities. They go to work, drive, make decisions etc. If one of my fragmented alters wants to be present, like at session, they come forward. But they bring with them their memories and emotions. The only way that I am aware of to stop from feeling extreme sadness, or fear, or anger is to switch to someone who doesn't have these feelings. That is how my system works. So when you or my t refer to "dissociating" as a method of containment I don't know how to do that since my method of containment are my alters. They contain the information emotions and body memories and that allows me to function in the world. And I don't know how to create an alter, They have always been with me. I have just always been this way.

dont worry about creating another alter thats not what therapeutic containment means.

Therapeutic containment is a therapy technique that is used with people who have all kinds of mental disorders and problems, not just DID and talking with alters...

therapeutic containment is using your imagination (some people /locations call this dissociating because a normal form of dissociation is daydreaming/ using imagination) using this normal form of dissociation that all dissociatives know how to do... imagine what type of box, jar, metal what ever container that it would take to hold that fear you are feeling...

dissociatives usually automatically know how to do this, they automatically know how to imagine safe rooms, safe boxes, safe planets...what ever makes them feel safe. its the basic building blocks of a person who becomes DID. they imagine their self out of the abusive situation and safely floating on the ceiling, safe in the walls where ever they feel safe...you can find your safe network by reading between the lines...look at what you wrote above about how you feel fear then you switch and fear gets pushed aside.. whats the switching action for you, what is between you feeling fear and you the alter...

if you cant find that safe spot between you and your alter that automatically happens then think about it in the way that non DID's use therapeutic containment. what can you place that feeling of fear into that will allow you to feel safer..

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

dont worry about creating another alter thats not what therapeutic containment means.

Therapeutic containment is a therapy technique that is used with people who have all kinds of mental disorders and problems, not just DID and talking with alters...

therapeutic containment is using your imagination (some people /locations call this dissociating because a normal form of dissociation is daydreaming/ using imagination) using this normal form of dissociation that all dissociatives know how to do... imagine what type of box, jar, metal what ever container that it would take to hold that fear you are feeling...

dissociatives usually automatically know how to do this, they automatically know how to imagine safe rooms, safe boxes, safe planets...what ever makes them feel safe. its the basic building blocks of a person who becomes DID. they imagine their self out of the abusive situation and safely floating on the ceiling, safe in the walls where ever they feel safe...you can find your safe network by reading between the lines...look at what you wrote above about how you feel fear then you switch and fear gets pushed aside.. whats the switching action for you, what is between you feeling fear and you the alter...

if you cant find that safe spot between you and your alter that automatically happens then think about it in the way that non DID's use therapeutic containment. what can you place that feeling of fear into that will allow you to feel safer..

Maybe I'm not the one who is able to do this containment. There is no space between the alters. I am either John or Keven or the little girl. That's it. My safe place is my alters. If a frighten alter is out and he and I feel overwhelmed by the fear than he steps back and I step up. Or someone completely different steps up and we both get pushed back. That is how I avoid bad feelings. Their not in a box their in an alter. My t suggested that I imagine a place to put my bad feelings. She asked me to put them aside so we could discuss the reason for the feelings. It makes sense but the bad feelings are not mine they belong to one of the other alters. Maybe I can ask the alter with the bad feelings to set them aside. Like in a box or something, Maybe that is where I am getting stuck. Thanks