[shannonstar]

Hello. I was dx with DID over 14 years ago and I'm still fighting it. I have a T who believes in my dx. and is willing to work with me, but sometimes when I switch it feels so strange and funny that I keep feeling I must be making it up or something. I feel I need definitive answers every time I have a question. I need to know what to do next. Should I try to remember all the abuse? How could there possibly be more than I already remember? Is it possible to try to integrate when every time you hear that word your head shakes "NO" violently against your control? Is there any advise on how to work slowly on accepting the different parts? I appreciate your support. Thanks.

[Zorah]

(((((shannonstar)))))

You are not making it all up, switching happens.

If your parts all say "no" about integration, don't worry.

You have to wait until they are wanting to integrate, or at least communicate.

Don't try to remember everything at once, let it seep through slowly.

There are no definite answers, forget that bit.

Welcome to the DD forum

Welcome Shannonstar.

I am also DID. Yes it is possible. For me integration was not a choice it just happened and I promise it isn't like the death sceen in the three faces of eve. Its not painfoul and my alters did not die. Integration is just a footlong word for remembering the abuse that happened to you. You can read about integration and the rest of my experiences with having DID, my last therapists and my research on DID and my therapy program for it in my blog called - Me, Myself and I.

To get there just click on the word - Blogs - at the top of the page and then click on my blog title along the right side in a gray box. or my most recent entry listed along the left side.

Sometimes a different page comes up after clicking on blos- Thats the professionals blog page - Doc John and so on. It that page comes up you can get to the members blogs by clicking on the words - get your own - along the left side of the page. then you will see my blog name along the right in the gray box and my most recent entry along the left. Clicking on either will get you into my blog.

Once in my blog click on the letterhead and it will bring up a page with links along the righ side on my main page. Clicking on blog index will bring up a page with all my entrys so you can choose which entrys you want to read.

Hang in there and again welcome

[January]

Welcome Shannon,

I don't have the right answers for you, but I know there are lots of caring people here who will be more than happy to help you.

Welcome!

January

[OneAndMany]

I agree that switching does feel strange and sometimes funny. But, it is that very feeling that clues me in to the fact that DID is real. I know that singletons do not have that same experience.

I believe that there aren't many definitive answers that come from outside (like the T for example). For me, most of the direction for what I should do next comes from asking myself (including my parts) the question. Sometimes I don't know all of my options and my T is great for telling me, you could do x, y, or z. But I'm the one who knows which one to pick.

As far as integration goes, I've read some books that said integration should be a goal and others that said it doesn't have to be a goal. My T truly leaves that up to her patients.

One book that I've really found helpful to me in understanding how to manage DID is "got parts?" by ATW. I bought it from Amazon. It is a small book packed with helpful information. I highly recommend it.

One thing that helps me is to recognize that DID is what kept me alive. For that I am truly thankful. Each and every part of me has a role to play in keeping me alive. So, for that I am truly thankful and accepting of each part. I may not understand what a certain part's role was (that is where my T can help), but I know without a doubt that I only created parts because they were necessary. I have said to one part, "I'm not sure I understand you or why you do that, but I appreciate what you have done for me in being a part of me and keeping me together. Thank you." My therapist says that listening to parts and validating them works just as well for them as it does for me.

Elizabeth