it hurts

How can I work with an alter that has the name of one of the persons who abused me? who thinks he is the abuser? if I have created alters to protect me....why is he there?

No protection, only pain he gives me.
I want him to go, it hurts.

Bloem

only a thought but maybe you subconciously created him because somehow somewhere deep inside you blame yourself for the abuse happening. by working on affirming to yourself that you were in no way to blame may help him go

Ask him if he is a helper why is he hurting you. I found out some of my alters are just doing what they have always done and when I asked them why they were doing things to hurt the body they didn't know. Then once they thought about it and we talked it out they stopped.

I had a couple abusive alters. their purpose, job and reason for being was to protect me...by abusing me...I know that sounds like a strange conflicting idea but my therapist explained it to me...

children who are abused sometimes end up in situations where being abused is actually a protection...

example a child is abused and told not to tell, but then the abuser turns around and invites, makes situations where the child must tell one abuser what the other abuser is doing...

the rock and a hard place... one abuser can harm the child if the child talks and the other abuser can harm the child if the child doesnt talk... so whats a child to do? hard to choose between getting harmed for talking or get harmed for keeping mouth shut...what a conflict.. the child cant handle that so they dissociate/ the child mind creates an alter that will handle this conflict by abusing the child before the two abusers can do it ...

another example....

sometimes abusers will make a child abuse their self as punishment for things the abuser perceives is wrong. the child cant handle hurting their self so their child mind dissociates and creates an alter to do that for them....

there are many reasons why a person may have an alter that is abusive to their self, the other alters or the host...

the two examples are why my internal system had an abusive alter...to punish me for doing perceived wrongs or for doing the right thing and because I was in the situation of where my abusers were constantly making me break the rules so that they would have reason to punish me. it was my minds way of taking back some of that control from my abusers...if I was abusing myself they couldnt hurt me worse than what I could do to myself...

my abusers also trained me to punish myself for those times when they were not around to do it their self should I attempt to tell or do things they felt were wrong.

Introjects – What are Introjects? | Discussing Dissociation

Thanks everyone for the comments!

It has helped me to understand it better and I talked about it with my t.
I understand it a little better but still find it painful that this Alter has the same name as one of the abuser. that feels weird and difficult it is a name and person I want to forget and now he is in me......
I know it's not the real abuser but he himself thinks he is and one of the young alters thinks that too. And what I find difficult is that she is very attached to him even though he hurt her, she thinks she has no one else.

Bloem

I am glad to hear you are talking about this with your t. Asking the question shows that you are stronger than any abuser. I wish you well.