[Cyan]

I have a question, I don't know if it should go here or on the psychotherapy forum. I have been in therapy for almost 10 years. I have DID, PTSD, and anorexia. I was in therapy for a number of years before I was diagnosed DID. I started therapy because I was having terrible flashbacks and was having major depression.

Anyway, I was talking with my therapist the other day and I was just wondering if I am being a pain in the butt for continuing therapy. The thing is that we are just really starting to trust him with some of the insiders. They all have hurts that they need to talk about. Am I being paranoid about continuing therapy?

Cyan

[everybodyishere]

It sounds to me like most of you is feeling comfortable with going deeper with the therapy. Is there a part of you that is resistant to therapy? Can that part agree to continue with it or be assured that it will be safe? - Bob

[nothemama8]

Cyan, we tend to run when we get close to the real issues is this possible with you, Welcome
Angie

[Rhapsody]

I would cont' on with the T - for it personally took me 10 long years to get all my inner parts back together.... just two of us now - her (and) me.

Take-Care.....................

LoVe,
Rhapsody ((( hugs )))

"just really starting to trust him with some of the insiders".

Are you afraid that your therapist is going to want you to dissociate even more so that he/she can talk to you while you are a memory piece (alter)?

Therapy is working on things so that the person has MORE control over their life and experiences not less.

Therapy for DID is the same way. Its working on grounding techniques, and relazation techniques so that the person can remain grounded in the here and now while they remember the memories of what they have been through. Therapists don't work with DID clients to create more dissociation they work with them on gaining control of their dissociation. They work towards co consciousness (remaining aware while experiencing the separated pieces of memories that are the alters so that the person consciously while aware match up and put the pieces of memories together - this smell goes with this sound, with this touch and so on.

Since you have some control where when you didn't trust him didn't dissociate during therapy your therapist is not going to expect any more or less from you. if anything he is going to expect and want you to continue to have this amount of control of remaining aware while learning what your separated pices of memories are.

I can also tell you that years ago when I was first diagnosed with DID I dropped out of therapy and years later my not taking care of my problems associated with having DID resulted in my son being put in foster care. and Some of his PTSD problems are a result of my switching and the unpredictability. one minute I would be sliding down slides with him the next throwing books. Poor kid didn't know which end was up alot of the time. back when I was diagnosed I didn't have a child and had no immediate plans to have a child.

No one knows what the future will bring and alot of times its not what you would expect. You have an opportunity to work with a therapist now on learning what your separated pieces of memories are. only you can make the decision to stay in therapy but I can tell you I wake up everymorning regretting the decision to drop out of therapy and not take care of the problems back then before I had my child. if I had my life would have been so much better and my child though he would still have schizophrenia may not have had to spend the last 4 years and the next 4-5 years in residentail treatment facilities (mental health units and hospitals for children) and proctor homes (foster homes with therapy professionals as foster parents and group home parents.)

If knowing what I do today and I had the chance to do it all over again I would have remained in therapy with the people who diagnosed me with DID. and taken care of it then.

hang in there

[wanttoheal]

Welcome Cyan. Therapy is hard work and it's hard. I don't think the amount of time in therapy is important as much as the fact that one is moving in a forward direction in therapy. Before I started therapy, I didn't even know I needed therapy. In fact, I did not go to therapy for what I am working on in therapy now. If therapy is benefiting you, my advice (for what it's worth) is keep going. Good luck to you in whatever you decide.

Don't get too caught up in the length etc.

When I started therapy I thought---three months tops.

That was ten years ago.

It saved my life.

[Cyan]

Thank you all for your replies. I think I get all hung up about how much time this is taking. I just want to be better NOW. But it seems like we are just starting to scratch the surface on some of this stuff. I guess there is no time table. But everytime we call the receptionist to set up appointments I fill like she is thinking "You again?? Aren't you done yet?" No, she would never say that. And she doesn't know anything about us. So I am projecting.

I think most of all I am just scared.

Thanks for listening to me ramble.

Cyan

[woundedhearts]

A friend of mine, well now an ex-friend of mine has recently made the statement to me that I have been in therapy for 4 years now and I should be over it by now. Last night I saw my pdoc and she said something that helped me a great deal. It has been 37 years for me of abuse and torture that I have went through. It isn't going to happen overnight to just get through it and 4 years isn't really a long time to deal with it all. The time period isn't what is a big deal. You can be in therapy for many years or even longer. I think and believe that I will have to be in some sort of therapy or at least dealing with my abuse my whole life. The healing process goes at it's own pace. You can take 2 steps forward and then take 3 steps back as well as take 3 steps forwards and 2 steps back. It is a process that we have to allow to take as much time as it needs to take. Something that shouldn't be rushed along. Go at your own pace and if you feel you need to go a little further or faster, then tell your therapist, if you feel that it is way to much and very overwhelming then tell them and slow it down some. Just be safe with it and know what you need to do within to make it through. I definetely think that you shouldn't drop therapy. It doesn't matter how long you have been in it. What matters is that you are getting what you need and deserve out of it. If you feel you aren't, then maybe look into finding a new therapist. Just my opinion.

Take care.

Yea know the feeling except with one diference. I don't get that kind of attitude at my therapy agency for the most part. But I have in the past gotten the are you done with that therapy nonses yet attitudes from people who know me. I haven't gotten any recently. Partly I think because this time after I entered therapy a DHS caseworker knowing my history of dropping out of therapy for all kinds of reasons had my staying in therapy court mandated that I stay in according to my therapist discression. That court order is now closed and so its now my choice of staying in therapy. There are those that did not like it that I was court mandated to remain in therapy but I personally don't have a problem with it. It took years to get the way I am now so its may just take years to get everything fixed to the point where I no longer loose time and so on. like I recently wrote in one of my journal entries that I gave to my therapist when her co workers thought they had a right to force her to go faster then her and I could on a project and be done with it on a deadline - therapy isnt "ok you are going to work on things, this day and time, this day and this day and time and ok you're done now." problems like losing time, nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks, self injury ... dont work on time limits of ok its time to have a nightmare ok now its time to be nightmare free clap the hands snap the fingers and the person is no longer ever going to have that same nightmare again.

Therapy sessions are set by what the client needs. some people need only a few sessions and they are fine and still others need years worth and still others go for a bit take a break and go for a bit and take another break.

Who decides that is the client and the therapist based on what that persons problems are not all these people with there "get done" attitudes who don't want family laundry aired in public or those that fear someone who is in therapy at the moment.

I used to be very self conscious about making my appointments in the lobby with the receptionists but then one receptions saw my discomfort with it and leaned closer and said -

"you think its hard in here making an appointment you should see the reactions when people find out that I work in a therapy office, they think I am just as nuts and I used to use the back door when coming in to work so no one would see me entering the building just incase someone who knew me saw me"

I couldnt help but see the humor I was afraid of making appointments in the lobby where everyone is there either to work there or see someone there. This receptionist had to enter a building for "crazy people" and work with crazy people according to a lot of peoples standards of the general public view of what therapy is.

I no longer have a problem setting my appointments at the reception area when I have to.

Also most therapy professionals have their own "planner" that they have in the office with them. They set the appointment at the end of the session and give the client an appointment card and then later on the therapist writes his or her scheduled sessions down for the receptionist so that when people do call or wallk in they know what timeslots are available for each therapist.

Maybe you can talk to your therapist and ask that they set your next appointment right after your session or right befor starting the session you are there for. that way you do not have to set your appointment in the reception area of by calling in.