Struggling but here

Hi again everyone,

I've been trying to stabilize over the past week and a half. I started taking Zoloft on Monday, the 2nd, for anxiety from PTSD. I had received a warning from my system that made me finally call and make the appt to start taking some meds. The Zoloft started making an immediate difference in my energy level (more energy, yea!) and also was making it more difficult to communicate with my alters. It is like everyone got the volume turned way down. Which didn't seem like a bad thing (although I got lonely) until I realized that everyone was still having feelings that would leak through to me and I wouldn't know why or how to help. After the first week, the internal communication started to come back again and things were getting better. About that time, I started struggling with messages from alters that seem to indicate that I was abused not only by my father but also by my mother. I am still struggling with this. This is the storm that I was warned about. Even with the Zoloft helping to calm my anxiety, the thought of this makes my stomach plummet. I'm glad I received the warning and listened to it.

I've missed talking to everyone here. I haven't been able to post because I felt like I lost my voice here with the changes from the medication. And then when I started having these new disturbing memories, I just couldn't handle anything anymore. But I've realized that in order to be part of this support group, I need to figure out how to post even during the really bad times.

I'm heading to Disneyworld with my hubby and 2yo dd this Sunday for a week. I am really looking forward to it--we have been planning this trip so that my daughter will enjoy the parks (aiming for the low-key rides and entertainment), my hubby and I will be able to relax and unwind from work, and we have talked about ways to allow my alters to have fun and stay safe and enjoy vacation too. I think I can find internet access and be able to log in while there and start posting again. I hope so anyway.

Missing everyone ((((((((((((((((safe hugs))))))))))))))))

Elizabeth

((( Elizabeth )))

I was just getting ready to send out an APB on you.

Glad to see you. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate.

Be gentle, go slow, try to have a blast at Disney.

Kiss Goofy for me.

Thanks, Petunia.

I will plant a big one right on his cheek!

Hello Elizabeth, I just started back on zoloft it is my wonder drug..... Just take one day at a time.....