Question Regarding Dissociation

I'm not really sure what dissociation is so I'm going to give a couple of examples and see what you think.

When I was 17 I was date raped. It's like I didn't really experience it because I watched it from the top of the seat in the car. I just sat and watched.

Other times when I really be come uncontrolably upset can leave the situtation where i don't hear the other person or what's going on around me. It's like I'm not there. I can choose to do this when I get to emtionally upset and feel I can't handle the situation. It includes rocking and rapid eye movement.

Does this ring any bells with anyone. I don't do if often enough for it to be a problem, but I was just wondering if this is dissociation.

Thanks for your imput.

I just go numb. Can't process.

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Im sorry but we can not tell you whether what you are going through/went through is dissociation or not...let me give you an example why not...

here in NY this is not called dissociation its called out of body experience.

here in NY the reason its called Out of Body Experience is because in your post you used the wording....

here in NY dissociation due to trauma is something a person can not .....choose....to do. its an automatic reaction

example
when I am stressed out I dont think oh crap I cant handle this Im going to dissociate and then do it.

when Im stressed out my body automatically numbs and I automatically feel spaced out, out of touch with my body....kind of like when a person is stressed out their body automatically makes them breath differently, or when someone gets scared their heart automatically thumps louder, faster. here in NY dissociation is an automatic thing that people have to learn how to take control of.

where as anyone can learn how to have an out of body experience through choosing to do it if they know their body and self well. they even teach this kind of thing at yoga, and meditation classes down the street from where I work.

for some people here in NY this kind of thing is normal, for others its called PTSD, Psychosis, hallucination, delusions and many other things too.

my suggestion....only your treatment providers can say whether this is dissociation in you so my suggestion is contact a treatment provider where you are there in Texas (your profile location) and talk with them. they will tell you what the diagnostics are for dissociation in your state and will tell you whether you are dissociating, have ptsd , anxiety or any other mental /physical problems this may be, or whether you are experiencing something normal.

Dissociation has a million different levels to it, but in the most general sense it means separating emotions, facts and reality.
It sounds like dissociation, and everyone has experienced it before. Since you said it doesn't cause a problem and happens rarely it may not be enough to be called a disorder, but a dr would have to tell you that.
It sounds to me like you learned a coping skill during your truama and have found a way to use it to get through overwhelming situations. I sometimes enjoy being able to separate myself from stressful stuff around me when I get upset, but sometimes it gets in the way and causes issues. It all depends on how it affects you in those situations. Dissociating can leave a person vulnerable if they don't have control over it or it is extreme.

This sounds very close to how a friend of mine dissociates, but like amandalouise said we can't diagnose you.

Though she is right; I have never once been able to choose to dissociate (though sometimes I wish I could), and it takes a lot of effort and is usually unsuccessful if I try and stop dissociating. I'm really just along for the ride.

I'm sorry for what happened to you. ((safe hugs))

When I was at school there was a girl who used to go numb like that and leave the situation, it was her method of coping with trauma. She'd been raped too and whenever she was stressed she used to leave the situation.

Personally, when I dissociate it isn't like that. It's more like the way you described your experience of being raped; you were watching while it happens to yourself. For me, when I switch I don't black out or retreat into my mind, I'm still there but I'm just watching as the alter starts doing bad things, it's terrifying because I try to stop him but I just... Can't. Then again, lots of people seem to have different experiences with dissociating so I wouldn't know. If you think you dissociate then maybe you should see a professional who can examine what's going on properly

Also, I'm sorry to hear about what happened in your past...

This is how I feel too. Though not watching from another place in the room, watching from within myself. I can relate to the wanting to stop them but can't thing all too well.

That's exactly how I feel! It's like watching from inside myself for me as well.