[Rhapsody]

I was just wondering how any of you would handle being around a person that always seems to make your DID react, and in the worst way possible..... they always seem to send you into dissociation?

I am asking this for there is this person that has entered my life in the last year and this person over time became very rude and insensitive to me and any of my needs, so now my last remaining alter does like her any more, hence my DID acting up any time I feel a beating down (in words) coming on from her.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[wanttoheal]

Avoidance is my middle name... I tend to back up from people who are not safe to me, if I can. Eventually there is just no contact. I don't think that's the healthy route but because it's always kept me safer to do that, it's hard to learn other ways of handling it.

On the other hand, family... well, that's a whole nother story because I can't seem to back away and can't seem to stand up.

Well, that doesn't seem at all helpful and I'm sorry for that. I've a long way to go in the healing process. Maybe your T has some healthy skills that you could learn to deal with your friend. I do wish you the best of luck with it.

people who are not safe to me...Eventually there is just no contact.

I'm the same way. I'm afraid of the rage inside that comes out when I'm threatened...not of the person or situation. I don't allow the rage to manifest outwardly, and it works against my health.

I've come to a point in my life where it's best just to walk away from those people.

[(JD)]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
my last remaining alter does like her any more,

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I assume this is a typo and you mean that your other part of you doesn't like her. But, do you?

No one likes everyone. Make a conscious decision, perhaps, to just let her be one of those ppl you don't care for.

If she is truly triggering, then I would say allow yourself to cope as best you know how. Do try to figure out what about her irks / triggers you, so that you can learn that one person might not matter that much.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
acting up any time I feel a beating down (in words) coming on from her.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Maybe go through some of the CBT distortions to counteract her power to do this to you? A good dose of self talk of how worthy a human being you are will help you not pay attention to her berating you, imo. Also, try not to anticipate what she might say, nor why or how. You (or other part) might be projecting onto her something from someone in your past (thus the trigger.)

Be easy on yourself, you're still healing

[LILITH]

I too try to avoid people who make me react. It is hard to keep it inward, if I show it outward it results can be disastrous.

Depends on why I was dissociating more around that person. if it was because they are trying to play shrink with me then I basically work them back out of my life at least during situations that the person was playing shrink with me around. otherwise I recognize the person triggering me is not their fault. it is my trigger reactions therefore I am the one that needs to be more aware of how I feel and locate the triggers BEFORE I enter a dissociated state of mind. My dissociating has been always happening since I have been a child so I have always been dissociating around people who enter my life no matter when they enter my life and for what reason. just because I now know what is wrong with me doesn't mean I dissociate more around those in my life. It just means I know I dissociatie so now I know that I need to take steps that will lessen my dissociating and this means that no matter who I am with - people I have known for years and years or new acquaintences I am going to be dissociating and I now have a choice of either going with it or locating my triggers and using my grounding techniques and relaxation techniques so that I can now tell the person no matter who they are that I need to slow down or I need a break or even I need to use the bathroom and once in the bathroom use my grounding techniques and so on.

Basically how I deal with this is recognizing that my dissociating around people is nothing new I have always been doing it. But what is new is that I now know how tocheck in with myself on how I am feeling at all times so that I don't have to dissociate away from whatever the person is saying and doing that is making me dissociate. I now have the choice of physically ending the conversation, leaving the room and so on. Its not the other persons fault that they may be telling me about the snake their child wanted to get for chistmas and I have a problem with snakes kind of thing.

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
_Sky said:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
my last remaining alter does like her any more,

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I assume this is a typo and you mean that your other part of you doesn't like her. But, do you?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

NO - this was not a typo..... I meant exactly what I said.... my last remaining alter that still lives inside of me (a parts of me if you wish, but never the less an alter in name) does not like this once particular person that was once a friend I thought, but then she turned on us, therefore, she is no longer liked by my alter - nor wanted as a friend (in any way) by me.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

And YES I agree that AVOIDANCE is the only answer.... now if I can only get her to avoid me? - - a BIG IF

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
_Sky said:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
acting up any time I feel a beating down (in words) coming on from her.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Also, try not to anticipate what she might say, nor why or how. You (or other part) might be projecting onto her something from someone in your past (thus the trigger.)

Be easy on yourself, you're still healing

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

YES..... this is a statement that I totally agree with.... and that is why I do my best not to interact with this person in any way or form (we seem to resonate each other - I see this, but I do not think she does).... and on the other side of it all I cannot stop her from the actions she feels is her right to display no matter how hard I have tried to stay clear.

WORDS can surely HURT.................................... the Receiver.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[January]

I had no idea anyone else in the world feels that way...

Jan

[hillbunnyb]

passive/ aggressive manipulative people trigger/split me
red lights red lights red lights lack of straightforwardness sends my limbic system to Mars. get me outa here.....

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
hillbunnyb said:
passive/ aggressive manipulative people trigger/split me
red lights red lights red lights lack of straightforwardness sends my limbic system to Mars. get me outa here.....

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

For ME personally - - - I cannot handle people that pretend to care or to be nice to ME in front of others, but then become someone / something else behind closed eyes of others.

THESE PEOPLE will ALWAYS RESONATE my DISLIKE of THEM...... I begin to see them as my enemy after I witness their TRUE colors.

With my past I tend to be who I really am up front and wish for others to be the same with me and when they are not they become far to much like my abusers, my parents, my wounds.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -