[Rhapsody]

I was just wondering -

How many people with DID ever regret having ever told a person or two that you suffer from DID? - I am asking for I have found that I am now regretting having disclosed this information about myself with a certain few.... reason being is that these few will use the disorder against me at times, that of which I do not need or desire to have.

BTW - while most people with DID do not remember their past or parts of their present life as it takes place, my DID is of the nature that I am aware of almost everything (95%) that my alters do - I just cannot stop them when they are in control, and they tend to feel and see things in a different manner than I do.

... plus my alters tend to hold onto the feelings that go with the event at hand - they act or react to how they feel and not by how I "THE REAL ME" feels or desires for my life.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[woundedhearts]

I do regret with a few people.

[biplol]

I don't have DID but I can relate. Some people is not ready to know somethings about us, and the worst part is we usually find that out when we have to face our own problem coming from soembody elses mouth.
((Rhap))

[bipolar_bear]

I have only told one other person who also has DID with the exception of my T's. I have always feared that somehow it would come back to haunt me and that they would most likely not understand anyway. I am sorry you are regretting you have. I hope it resolves itself all right. Please take care. I am so sorry that has happened to you.

[LILITH]

I did not tell anyone outside of very close friends and family...... until my youngest was 16. He is now 18, due to the fact I had a very bizzare divorce.... my ex husband was going to kill me/Lilith and take the kids......he could have used this information against me at the time of trial.
Altheia

[Cyan]

Hey,

I don't tell hardly anyone I am DID. But I did tell one person and now I regret it. He has been using me like a conversation piece with his friends. He tells everyone I am DID and using things that we do to prove it. I don't trust him anymore and I am sorry I even opened up to him. He is a psychology student working on a masters in counseling and he was going to write a paper on me. I was so upset.

Cyan

we regret NOT telling one person, its ironic we couldnt trust her with telling her about us, yet we married her, it was our downfall and a major factor in our subsequent divorce,

we have told our 8 yr old son that we are DID, he doesnt understand what it is, he says we are poorly in the head, his words not ours, and accepts that we can be differant people from visiti to visit, he doesnt mind has long has we have fun when we see each other.

our best friend knows we are DID, it explained a lot of our actions and he accepts it fully, has for other peoples reactions when they find out we think it is there problem to deal with it or not, we do not stress over it, it is a waste of energy.

reason being is that these few will use the disorder against me at times

Rhap,

That is just awful. It makes me cringe to hear that people would stoop that low.

(Cyan, I'm so sorry that happened to you. That breaks my heart)

Most people here have issues with trust and disclosure so when you finally get up the courage to "tell" and that trust is betrayed, it can be devastating.

That's why groups like this are so important. They help people who would not otherwise reach out, talk about things that are private and painful and confusing. (But don't forget, there is online disrespect and betrayal as well)

Most all of us respect each other's privacy and feelings. We begin to reach out and trust. Maybe by learning to reach out here and see that hands reach back, we can begin to heal and not walk in alone in silence anymore.

With respect and acceptance to all,

Petunia

[biplol]

Petunia, Better words impossible~~~

And by the way, you guys, have no idea how much respect and honor is for me to know you, to have a glimse of what you have to go trhu.
(((((((DID forum)))))))

(((((Rhap)))))
My DID is much like yours. It's scary at times to be aware and not be able to do anything to stop an insider's actions.
I have told a couple of very close friends. One says she wasn't surprised. One doesn't write much anymore. One is accepting and supportive. One is still in shock. My H knows and is wonderful. My two sons know (30, 26). My youngest son is amazing. We just visited him for thanksgiving and my 7 yr old little was out some and he and his wife played with her and talked to her.

I won't tell anyone else.

I am sorry that you have gone thru what you have. I'm still afraid that at some point it will all come back at me and kick me in the butt....

Hugs to you
w_i

[hillbunnyb]

)))))))))))Rhapsody and Cyon and the rest of us((((((((((((((

tricky tricky tricky I have been pathetic at picking the right people to tell. so many eyeballs have rolled i lost count.

being used as a bug by a student really fries my spuds. somebody like that should not be in the psych business IMHO.
they shoule let us mentally ill review who gets to be a therapist..... boy would we shake em up..... weed em out...... change the system!!!!!!! shhheeeeeeeshhhhh

[Monty_girl]

I told one person who was in a abuse support group with me. She hasn't talked to me since.

Another thing that's happened is that my husband told his 2 best friends. Well you know they told their wives as well. So they know now as well. They both have been abused as well. One is very understanding and came up to me at a BBQ saying if there was anything I needed to let her know. Just very nice. The other one is just a nut job. After she found out I was DID she tried to say she was as well. I can't believe her though.

[Rhapsody]

WOW!!! - All the responses made me CRY, but with HAPPINESS (not sadness) inside.... I cried at the thought that so many PEOPLE do indeed CARE about ME and my FEELINGS....... Thx a Million - I would be lost without this place now that I have found it.

THANK YOU:

woundedhearts
biplol
bipolar_bear
LILITH
Cyan
mellors
Petunia
white_iris
hillbunnyb
Monty_girl

~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ for YOU ALL.....................

I will post more later on, for I just got back home from doctor appt all day and then grocery shopping and running errands.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I didn't know I was DID until 1989 when a rape crisis counselor recognized my spacing off and other symptoms and asked that I go through testing.

Then I went through years and years of denial after the testing showed I had MPD (the old term for DID). Once I was diagnosed I covered everything possiblem. If I couldn't remember the conversation I would say "what" as if I didn't hear the person and they would explain in more detail wh at they were asking me, Started wearing a watch that told the date so that I did not have to ask anyone for the time or date, and so on.

Then when my child was in foster care the first time due to my being suicidal my lawyer on the case then forbid SKR and I to disclose to anyone outside of the therapy agency that I had this so again I did not tell any one.

It has only been the last year -year and a half that I have been able to tell people that I am DID and then I don't tell very many people.

See the way I see it theres no reason for me to just tell anyone and everyone - hey I have DID. Whats it to other people for example people at the library, where I shop and so on that I have DID. I don't go around telling just anyone about my sex life of my physical health problems so theres no reason that I should do so with having DID.

The people that do know that I am DID is one of my local friends because she's an active part of helping me come up with therapy projects and is also a part of my therapy program from time to time, A couple of my friends that were a part of the support group I was in back east one because she has DID and we help each other from time to time and the other friend from the group knows because she had a daughter that was also DID. I also have an email- letter pen pal that also knows and They have all been in my life in some cases 14 years so I know they would never abuse knowing that I have DID. If anything they all want the best for me and point me in the right directions on how to keep myself on track.

Oh yea I recently told the people in the depression management group. The group is run by LL my therapist and there were a few of us in there that have her for clients and so I figured there had to be atleast one or more dissociatives possibly to the point of having DID in the room. So I figured why not, lets just barrel right on in to the group with both feet all at once. Im glad I did for more than one person said they experience "something" like what I was talking about. and one person did she was also a multiple. so now I know for sure Im not the only one in the group.

[tallison]

i made the mistake of telling a "friend" about my DID and now she tries to figure out when i'm not me and ask inappropriate questions... it's hideous!! wish people were more compassionate!!! and trustworthy!
tallison

I have a hard hard time telling anyone, even my new pdoc i havent directly told yet since were only 4 sessions in. Im sure she knows from the records and how i behave but its hard to tell.

[January]

((((((((((((((((( Friends ))))))))))))))))

I can't say it any better than Petunia did, so please know I feel as she does.

I wish you didn't hurt. I wish you had no pain.

Hugs,

Jan

[Zorah]

(((((Rhap)))))
We regret having told ANYONE we were DID

Even the h told his t, & she said DID sounded like fiction to her.

We told a couple of other ppl but they have all spread the word We can't trust anyone with this knowledge.

We will never tell anyone irl again

[LILITH]

Dear Rapsody, your welcome. That was an interesting issue.....We need more thought provoking Q & A.... Have a great day!